I dedicate the rest of my life to finding the perfect situation to use this punchline... Quitting my job and seeking employment at a used car lot.
Study: 'Dad jokes' help kids develop into healthy adults https://www.cbsnews.com/pittsburgh/news/dad-jokes-study-health-development-kids/ so do your part, I believe the children are our future
Why don't Boxers have sex the night before a big fight? Spoiler Because they don't really like each other DD
I was playing chess with my friend and he said "Let's make this interesting." So we stopped playing chess.
Superman, Pinnochio and Snow white were walking down the street and ran across a contest for the most beautiful woman. Snow White says " I got this" and goes inside, comes out in about 15 minutes and Pinnochio asks, "How did you do?" "First place" Says Snow White. They continue walking and they come upon another contest but for the strongest man. Superman says "I will give this one a try" and disappears into the building. Within 5 mins he comes out and says....."FIRST PLACE!"...... "not surprised" Says Snow White......they continue walking together for a little while and come across a sign outside a bar that says.... "Worlds biggest liar" Contest......Pinnochio confidently says....."This one is mine and dissappears within. 30 minutes Pinnochio comes out in tears.....and Superman says....."what happened?" Pinnochio look up and says "Who the hell is Donald Trump?" DD
Spoiler: Why is ''girlfriend' one word but 'best friend' are two words? Because your best friend gives you space when you need it.