My 11 year old daughter hit me up with this one the other day... Dad, why can't dinosaurs clap? Because they're dead.
What do you call the sweat on your father’s balls after he’s had sex with your cousin? Relative humidity. What is the worst thing to feel during a prostate exam? Two hands on your shoulders. What’s a lesbian’s favorite Pokemon? @Squirtle What do you call a lesbian with long fingernails? Single
What does Batman order to drink? Spoiler Just ice.... What's the best time to go to the dentist? Spoiler 2:30...
What is the difference between a man's wallet before and after kids? Spoiler There are pictures where the money used to be. I haven't spoken to my wife in four years. Spoiler I thought it would be rude to interrupt her! Air used to be free at the gas station, now it costs 2.50. You want to know why? Spoiler Inflation. DD
What do you call a factory that makes average products? Spoiler A Satisfactory I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. Spoiler I'll let you know DD
I am worried for my calendar, because it's days are numbered. What are a Ninja's favorite kind of shoes? Spoiler Sneakers DD
I think the word you're looking for is irreverent, Fatty. DD is certainly that. Back when my kids were kids, and not grownups long removed from the "family castle," those jokes from Dad (me) would have drawn either groans or boos. Probably both.
You can follow his posts if you want. He is irrelevent. And that is why he keeps screaming louder these days. I won't give him what he wants.
Did I tell you about the bedroom set I just bought? Salesman tried to sell me insurance on the mattress... it was a blanket policy. When it was delivered, thieves stole the pillow off my front porch... I won't rest until I find it. Police are trying to find it. They're working under cover. The sheets were picking up too much static electricity, so the company replaced them with new ones... free of charge. The set came with an electric blanket, which I didn't like at first... but I'm warming up to it. I'm considering returning the whole set... I dunno.. . Maybe I'll sleep on it.