What are the benefits of getting married?

Discussion in 'NBA Dish' started by Brown Lost It, Sep 2, 2017.

  1. JonathanK

    JonathanK Member

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    Nah man, I wasn't saying you had issues at all. I don't know enough to make that judgment. What I was saying is, marriage is a compromise. If she marries you, that means she loves you and wants to be with you forever. (I know that sounds like cliche BS, but I truly still believe in love, though I know many people in the world think true love has died) Anyways, if she loves you, then she ain't going to be upset with you watching a Rockets game. She should have already understood who she was marrying beforehand. You and the Rockets are a package deal.
     
  2. KingCheetah

    KingCheetah Contributing Member

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    I wonder what he is ready for... turning 30 is going to hit him hard.
     
  3. KingCheetah

    KingCheetah Contributing Member

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  4. Nivos

    Nivos Member

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    I can tell you that you probably won't be able to watch sports 12 hours a day if you want a succesful marriage.
    And you will have to sit and watch some tv shows that you never believed you will watch.
    Ye its a compromise. I have league pass so i can watch all 82 games, but some will be in the mornings while getting ready for work or doing other stuff.
    I tried to take my wife to games but she really didnt like it so i gave up, hey nobody's perfect.
    We do make sure to go out atleast once a week to Restaurant/movie/concert when we're in a work routine.
    And we travel all the time, but I know that's not part of the "normal life" thing.
    Just saying that you can't expect things to be the same and you will have to give up quite a bit of your single life style. But one sign of a good woman is that it wont feel like sacrificing with her.
    And the other story was just crazy, i hope you don't take it as what marriages are.
    Infidelity is an issue. Like I said before, for us the most important thing in life is to live it to the fullest. You have ebbs anf tides in the sex life as well. At one point on a low that went for a period of time it really affected our relationship. I asked her whats up with that. We're just not feeling it. She said she felt she didn't love me anymore (ye it happens in most marriages at different stages). So I'm huge on honesty and loyalty. Can't and will never be able to forgive on a betrayal and she knows it from day 1.
    So I asked her if we make it an open relationship, that we both can sleep with other people. Maybe that will "spice up" our sex life. I said i dont feel the need for it but I'm open for it if she wants to, just think about it for a few days.
    We decided not to go for it in the end. It will just be too weird and after running all the different scenarios in our head for a few days we just decided to work harder on our relationship, and let that ebb slide. And its been terific, love grew stronger and trust is closer and sex is better than ever. We just realised that sex life is an indication that something in our relationship needs to be worked on, so there is no reason for lies or infidelity. Keeping the relationship shouldnt be about fear of losing it, just the mutual gain possibilities for both of you.
    I really think that as long as you keep honesty and awareness in a relationship with someone that her view on life is similar to yours, its way way better than cruising through life on your own.
     
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  5. Cosmonaut

    Cosmonaut Member

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    Here are a few things I was looking for in a woman other than looks and sex ability before I got married.

    1. Living with the woman before marriage is a must.
    2. She must be career minded
    3. She must understand what things truly make you happy in your life, eg your hobbies
    4. She must be responsible with money.
    5. Allow my own freedom

    Marriage isn't for everyone, but if you find someone that can truly understand who you are and understand about your passions in life that make you happy. She is probably a catch.
     
  6. daywalker02

    daywalker02 Member

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    What are the odds of meeting a Bball or Soccer groupie?
     
  7. daywalker02

    daywalker02 Member

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    Ok but what can you offer her?

    We put our needs first but what about hers?

    I think the best would be having similar interests, views and aspirations.

    Or just having the same kind of humor. Works well if you have a spouse from another culture or who isn't speaking your language well.
     
  8. Furious Jam

    Furious Jam Contributing Member

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    This goes back to what I said about living together for 2 years minimum. My (then) fiance knew how much time I spent watching sports (like every other night) and was obviously okay with it when we got hitched. Believe it or not, men and women are very different so even in very successful relationships each partner is likely to have pursuits that are of no interest to the other partner and that's okay. BTW, don't hold out for the girl who likes sports as much as you do - I'm not going to say they don't exist, but there are very few and they get snapped up quickly.
     
  9. tmacfor35

    tmacfor35 Contributing Member

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    I've learned through time, that being with someone who does not love themselves is a recipe for failure.

    I had a recent three year stint where I was the rock for my significant other and things just never got better for the other person. It is a really hard task to do.

    Marriage is for people that are compatible and for those that can carry an independent life if necessary(a means to walk out if things aren't working for them).
     
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  10. Pen15clubber

    Pen15clubber Member

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    @malakas is the perfect woman
     
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  11. KingCheetah

    KingCheetah Contributing Member

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    You might just want to go common law -- you get to watch more sportcenter and you don't have to buy a ring.
     
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  12. CertifiedTroll

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    How did cyberx thread get locked.. but this?
     
  13. daywalker02

    daywalker02 Member

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    pssst, I dun want to sell her out......
     
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  14. Lovemachine2000

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    Greatest thread this off season.
     
  15. SirIvyLeague

    SirIvyLeague Member

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    This is exactly what should not be posted here. You aren't in a serious relationship, you haven't even kissed this girl. No offense bro, but you're a white knight sitting in a shining armor and for a lack of better terms-- a cuck.

    You've known her for six years, are besties, never dated, etc. You really shouldn't comment on this topic. This is ****ing pathetic, you just sit in the corner while I bet she's getting drilled by dudes left and right but you still "have" her so you're happy. You've just got a friendship bro, you don't have a commitment. Nothing in the realm of the marriage.

    Good god, what the **** is going on in here.
     
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  16. SirIvyLeague

    SirIvyLeague Member

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    You already see how stale it gets. Add liquidity in the mix, aka social media, she'll get on IG, snap, even Tinder find new dudes and let that tickle her fetishes about some adventure. Seriously. World is too liquid now, you do one thing wrong to a girl she can find a new man. You do everything right with a girl, and she'll still probably be ****ing another guy.

    Just do you bro. Don't fall for societal pressures. Being single can be tough, sometimes. Long-run it's been worth it, career is way ahead cause of it, I don't have any issues with having "me" time. If I meet people randomly, I can have sex with them randomly with limited to no consequences. It's just better this way. Plus, you'll meet girls who are on the opposite end-- meaning married and seeking some ways out.

    Like, when I come back to town. I can ask a girl out that I know, and there's no issue. I can go out with my boys, some people added to their circle maybe a cute chick or two. It's game on. There's nothing holding you down. Rarely is a girl an actual asset, very rarely. If she is, lock that **** in.
     
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  17. JonathanK

    JonathanK Member

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    You know what? I was at least trying to add something positive. I posted what I could. Fine I've got nothing, does that make you Mr. Internet Cool Guy feel better? Seriously this is a message board. If you're going to call someone out for TRYING to help someone else, then you really have some problems. There's so much crap going on in the world right now, and this is the fight you want to pick? I'm sorry for whatever happened to you to make you feel so jaded.
     
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  18. SirIvyLeague

    SirIvyLeague Member

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    Listen, dude. I appreciate your intentions. But in all honesty, no feedback would've been the best execution.

    Truth is your situation is exactly what most guys don't want to be in. That's friend-zoned and being a cuck. Just being straight up. Those weekends you say she wants alone or just girlfriends-- $100 says she's ****ing some dude, if not multiple-- just being real again.

    I really don't want to pick a fight you, that ain't my intention. I just want to be clear to the OP, be transparent about it. He's in no way, shape, or form in your situation. He's actually had sex with this girl, he's actually kissed this girl. They both have feelings for each other, yours isn't that way. You can't bring in your example and situation into this. It's basically telling somebody advice that has absolutely nothing to do with, and somewhat contradictory to their actual situation. No advice is better than this advice.

    Again, not trying to fight with you. Just keeping it real with the OP, and you. I hope you do find someone that'll actually appreciate you for you. You seem like a nice dude, just know women are women.
     
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  19. SirIvyLeague

    SirIvyLeague Member

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    At that point in time, maybe not forever. Also, she may be more entertained by the idea of marriage as opposed to what it actually consists. You really can't be this narrow.

    As for your last point, yeah I agree. If you don't feel comfortable watching a game alone with your girl gone, then **** man you aren't even ready to talk about marriage. I tell dates I'm running late, cause the game got good. They understand. We're men.
     
  20. iNoseBleedRed

    iNoseBleedRed Member

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    Does the $100 bet require that she bangs multiple dudes? Is there a sliding scale of some sort in which you only get $50 if she gets slammed by just one dude rather than multiple? What if she gets Eiffel towered, would that count as just one guy since the other isn't technically banging her?

    No offense to her bff, just trying to clarify the bet before committing.
     
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