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Your Worst Job....

Discussion in 'BBS Hangout' started by MoonDogg, Nov 12, 2001.

  1. MoonDogg

    MoonDogg Member

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    can NEVER be as bad as this........



    Zoo sperm bank worker Mohd. Binatang bin Goncang wins "Worst Job in Singapore".


    Wildlife Reserves Singapore (WRS), which runs the Singapore Zoo,has set up a bank of sperm and animal tissue in order to help preserve species.

    The thankless task of collecting the sperm falls to Mr. Binatang's, starting his rounds at 4 a.m. "We start so early in the morning because a lot of the animals have 'morning glory' when they wake up, and it's easier to collect the sperm.

    Wearing rubber gloves and carrying a cooler box filled with ice and tupperware, Mr. Binatang, 25, told us that he'd just graduated from Singapore Polytechnic with a diploma in life sciences. He liked nature and animals, and thought that the Singapore Zoo would be the perfect place to work.

    "I never thought I'd be giving an orang-utan a hand job every morning," he said somewhat ruefully. "And he is the worst, he expects to be kissed first. "As we approached the orang-utan enclosure, we saw the Zoo's most famous resident lying casually on his back, hands behind his head, and sporting a huge erection.

    Applying the massage oil onto his gloves, he lingered outside the enclosure before entering and knelt before the orange beast. About 2 minutes' worth of squelching noises could be heard before Mr.Binatang emerged again.

    Next the tiger enclosure, the big cats were sprawled lazily on the grass verge, in a somewhat half-hearted manner as he put on a fresh set of gloves and entered the enclosure. "Here, kitty, kitty,kitty..."

    Moments later, he emerged with several tupperware full of viscous fluid.

    "Isn't it dangerous?" we asked.

    Mr. Binatang was silent for a while.

    "They know I'm not there as an enemy," he finally said, a glazed, faraway look in his eyes.

    Worked his way round the zoo, finished his rounds at 3 pm in the afternoon. Carrying out his duties with the tapirs, the rhinoceros, giraffe and the gorillas, amongst others. "Each animal is different," he said, removing his gloves, now speckled with traces of polar bear spunk.

    "The chimpanzees always want to be hugged afterwards. The elephant is the most tricky because of the size of its thing... sometimes I have to use both my arms to tug on it."

    "As you can expect it's really affecting my sex life. I can't help it. Each time my wife initiates sex, these ejaculating hippos keep floating through my mind."

    How long will he stay difficult to know, but deputy assistant director Lai Jee Seow thinks it is important to continue.

    "It's because the animals have gotten too used to Binatang coming over every morning to pull them off," said "Many of them now can't be bothered to engage in real sex."

    by Kway Png


    http://www.studentmagazine.com/thisweek/thisweek_article.asp?articleID=213
     
  2. rockHEAD

    rockHEAD Contributing Member

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  3. A-Train

    A-Train Contributing Member

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    <i>See? It's important to have a job that makes a difference, boys. That's why I manually masturbate monkeys for the purposes of artificial insemination...</i>

    - From <i>Clerks</i>
     
  4. IVFL

    IVFL Member

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    I pray to anything that will hear me. . . please dont let this be true, I feel so bad for anyone that would have to do this.

    Okay i worked on a farm and their were machines that would "do the deed" for the farmers when he wanted to sell some "stuff" to other people. You would think these machines are available.

    Mabey they just dont like the guy so they give him this job. . . er . . . assignment until he quites. It would work out well for them, you get to see some guy you dont like do this, or he would just quite. either way it works out for them.
    :confused:
     
  5. EddieGriffin

    EddieGriffin Member

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    I've actually been to that zoo when I lived in Singapore. They have a thing where you eat breakfast with the orangutan then you go have your picture taken with him. If I had known had woken up with morning wood and was being jacked off every morning I might have thought twice about it.
     
  6. BrianKagy

    BrianKagy Contributing Member

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    Eddie, at least now, I think you know why the orangutan would endure that crap with a smile on his ugly, romper-esque face.
     
  7. fadeaway

    fadeaway Contributing Member

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    OMG.. This is the funniest thread ever.

    :D
     
  8. Puedlfor

    Puedlfor Contributing Member

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    Not exactly the greatest compliment for his wife . . .
     
  9. Vengeance

    Vengeance Contributing Member

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    That is honestly one of the funniest things I've ever heard . . .

    HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

    I wonder if he hangs out with the guy who has to inseminate the females?
     
  10. Smokey

    Smokey Contributing Member

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    Remember kids,

    STAY IN SCHOOL!

    Wait...this guy is a college graduate.
     

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