Would It Bother You If Your Wife Kept Her Last Name?

I think part of the commitment of marriage is sharing a name. Makes things easier, too.

There are some wonky laws for Texas- at least when I got married in 2004, there were. There's no charge other than a small fee for a woman to take the man's last name. However, if the man wants to take the woman's last name, it costs the same as changing your name to ~whatever~ outright.

I though there would be some grace period to change your name to ~whatever~ too, but there isn't. I'm not attached to my last name and my wife and I talked about starting a new one. No breaks there, you have to go to court.

 

Really? I hated my last name growing up, but it is part of my lineage and I would seriously think it was disrespectful to my family to change it. It is who I am, for better or worse.

But if you're going to change it, might I suggest "Crimefighter?"

 

Absolutely not- my wife started a business before she met me and she literally had 100s of clients who knew her by name. She was willing to change to my last name even though she really needed to keep her name, but I told her no (of course, my will's written out and she gets everything of mine when I'm gone, and if we ever get divorced, which will probably never happen, she'll be taken care of). My wife was victim to a domineering father and brother, and I purposefully told her that although we're a couple in everything, she needs to have her own identity after having to be submissive for most of her life. Now, do we sign the Christmas cards with my last name sometimes? Sure. It's not a hard-and-fast rule. But, overall, we run our own businesses and keep our own identities. And it's actually helped more than it's hurt in several ways.

My question to the ones who voted yes: Why don't you change your last name to your wife's maiden name? Why does it necessarily have to be the other way around?

 

I can somewhat see doing it if you have kids. For practical reasons. But other than that, don't see the point.

 

thank youuuu.

 

I've been married over 30 years now (good lord!!) and remember asking my S.O. if she wanted to keep her last name, being, as always, ahead of the curve. She asked me if I would care if she did. I replied that while I'd be pleased if she chose my last name, I'd be cool with it if she didn't. Totally honest. She picked mine, so I can't say if it would have ended up bothering me if she'd picked differently, but I'd like to think it wouldn't. My main thought, which I didn't tell her, was that it would be nice to continue the family name, my family tending to have one or two kids the last couple of generations. Everything worked out, obviously, since we're still together and have a son and daughter.

Having said that, I can understand the angst from some of the dudes facing this decision.

edit: As dandorotik pointed out, chicks that have a business reputation that would be hurt by the confusion of a name change shouldn't hesitate to keep it. My S.O. was early in her career when we got hitched, so that wasn't an issue.

 

If my wife had a really cool name I would keep it -- something like Laser or Supernova.

 

I didn't ask her to, but I was honored that my wife took my last name. I would have had absolutely no problem if she had chosen to keep her maiden name.

 

I always thought it wouldn't bother me, but I got kind of defensive about it when I got married. My wife completely planned on taking my name, but I think I would have had an issue if she hadn't.

Obviously there are exceptions if the woman has built a successful career where her name has built-in recognition.

Xerobull, my wife wound up adding her maiden name as a second middle name and taking my last name. No issues at all changing her name legally. I also added her maiden name as a second middle name to my own name. I had trouble getting in the door at the government building because the fat ass cop guarding the door said only women could change their name without going to court. I asked him if he was discriminating against me on the basis of my gender and he begrudgingly let me in. The bureaucrats behind the counter had no issues and once I was inside the building, it was pretty easy and free to change my legal name.

 

I don't really have a problem with it. There could be any number of reasons as to why she wouldn't want to take my name, but they are HER reasons, so I have to respect that. I think my parents would probably feel a little offended that she wouldn't want our family name, but it wouldn't be something that would cause major problems in the relationship. As far as the children go, I wouldn't necessarily mind them having hyphenated last names, but only if my last name came first.

Of course, I could be saying this simply because my girlfriend happens to have the same last name as me, so it won't ever really be an issue, but who knows??

 

Interesting, Scribo. We ended up giving my daughter my S.O's maiden name as her middle name, and gave my son my father's first name as his first name (it also was my grandfather's first name). It worked out very well in our case.

 

I don't care, as long as she doesn't hyphenate. Met too many crazy chicks who were hyphenated in grad school. She can take my last name or leave it, but she can't have both.

 

Heh, "Yes" is in the lead?

That's disappointing to see.

 

Arkansas?

 

If the woman is so concerned about keeping her identity, maybe she shouldn't get married.

 

I'm a fan of keeping names the same, or hyphenating, hyphens are always cool.

 

I like hyphens.


BenJarvus Green-Ellis for instance is a superb name.

 

I wouldn't mind it all , Wives keeping their last names is becoming more common .