Wiping Sheryl Crow's ass

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/laurie-david-and-sheryl-crow/lets-wrap-it-up_b_46620.html

Laurie David and Sheryl Crow

Let's Wrap it Up

Here we are at our final destination -- Capitol Hill. We just toured multiple states, talked to thousands of college students, spoke to many political figures in both parties, and wrapped it all up at a rockin' Earth Day celebration at George Washington University. (Thank you Larry, Tim, Faith, Carole, Bobby, Vice-President Gore, and Sen. McCain for making it a truly memorable and historic Earth Day.)

Our goal on the Hill today was to deliver to Congress the message from the road and the Virtual Marchers that Americans want solutions to global warming. The leaders we met with today told us that they are already writing global warming legislation, but indicated that this was going to be a very tough fight. They reinforced how important it is to hear from their constituents on this issue. Hear that America? We need you. (You can take action right now by logging onto nrdc.org and clicking on the link "Take Action".)

Everywhere we went today, we were asked by everyone from Congresspeople to Capitol Hill police about the "Rove incident." To set the record straight, the other night, we approached Mr. Rove at a dinner designed specifically to encourage conversations between people from different worlds. We were riding a wave of excitement having just come from talking to college students across the country about global warming. Obviously, we were very surprised that Mr. Rove found discussing such an important issue to be insulting. However, rather than continuing to focus on the encounter itself, can we now focus on the urgent need to act on global warming? We would welcome the opportunity to engage directly with the Bush administration in a constructive conversation about solutions to the global warming crisis.

And by the way guys, the toilet paper thing...it was a JOKE!!

 

Alright who had "it was a joke" in the lame excuse pool?

 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sheryl-crow/laurie-and-sheryl-go-to-s_b_46320.html

04.19.2007

Laurie and Sheryl Go to School

..other phrases Laurie David has never heard: "can of whoop-ass" and "comin' in hot." Ok, I'd never heard of mountaintop mining. Our educations continue.

I have spent the better part of this tour trying to come up with easy ways for us all to become a part of the solution to global warming.
Although my ideas are in the earliest stages of development, they are, in my mind, worth investigating. One of my favorites is in the area of forest conservation which we heavily rely on for oxygen. I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required. When presenting this idea to my younger brother, whose judgment I trust implicitly, he proposed taking it one step further. I believe his quote was, "how bout just washing the one square out."

I also like the idea of not using paper napkins, which happen to be made from virgin wood and represent the height of wastefulness. I have designed a clothing line that has what's called a "dining sleeve." The sleeve is detachable and can be replaced with another "dining sleeve," after usage. The design will offer the "diner" the convenience of wiping his mouth on his sleeve rather than throwing out yet another barely used paper product. I think this idea could also translate quite well to those suffering with an annoying head cold.

This next idea I have been saving but I will share it with you if you promise not to steal it. It is my latest, very exciting idea for creating incentive for us all to minimize our own personal carbon footprints. It's a reality show. (I feel pretty certain NO ONE has thought of this yet!). Here is the premise: the contest consists of 10 people who are competing for the top spot as the person who lives the "greenest" life. This will be reflected in the contestant's home, his business, and his own personal living style. The winner of this challenging, prestigious, contest would receive what??.... a recording contract!!!!!

We had a great week on our travels through college campuses however the events of the Virginia Tech shootings weighed heavily on everyone's minds and hearts.

Yesterday, we played 2 shows...one at a high school in Springfield, Tennessee, and one in the evening on the Vanderbilt campus. The Springfield student body decorated the gym with bright, colorful posters of support for solving the problem of global warming and even the mayor made a very inspired speech ending with a presentation to Laurie and I with the keys to the city of Springfield. So sweet! What a great day with the high school show being filmed by Channel One. It will go out to 7 million kids in the classroom setting across the States this Friday. That's some serious outreach.

Laurie and I have been preparing for the George Washington University show on Earth Day by tweaking the rundown. My request for the June Taylor Dancers was denied, however, I think the show is still going to be great quality entertainment, while being very educational, motivational, and hopefully, inspiring. All I know is, if it isn't, Laurie and I will be forced to open up a can of whoop-ass.

 

With all of the poo you fling around here, maybe you should use the whole 12-pack.

 

Howabout not driving so much, turning off the lights when you leave a room, turning down the thermostat, collecting rainwater to water your lawn with and recycling.. You know something sensible and practical instead of something stupid and impractical like only using one square of toilet paper or designing shirts with disposable wiping sleeves..

FYI if you want to replace a paper napkin with something to wipe with you that you can use again there's this great invention out there called a "Handkerchief"

 

and what about those little ketchup packets? what a waste.

 

Uhh... I think she was joking. I doubt she is really making "dining sleeves" or developing a reality show...

 

I hope so and listed in one of the post above she states it was a joke. In the next post you, Achilleus, post from Sheryl Crow she only mentions things like using only one square of toilet paper, dining sleevs and a reality show but none of the well known and practical methods for conserving energy and resources.

Honestly I don't know whether she is being serious, joking or just not practical enough to begin with.

 

Yeah, I posted both blogs from the Huffington Post. I highlighted the parts that I thought would be obvious jokes. I didn't think it was too funny, but I knew she wasn't being serious. That is the problem with trying to be textually amusing, I guess. Sometimes it is confusing...

 

she has been spending too much time in France

 

Useless thread without pics.

 

ON THE REAL
Maybe we should make Toilet Paper out of Industrial Hemp
It goes quicker and easily renewable.

Rocket River

 

i dont know about you but im having a hard time not getting a visual...and i dont want it

 

She must have been introduced to Paula Abdul's drug dealer.

 

Apparently, she can't spare a square.

 

^ I was wondering when that joke would show up.

 

the real truth of this fact is that we should not be using paper to wipe our bums, but water like the fancy japanese toilets from the company Toto.

Secondly water in toilets shouldn't be fresh clean water, it should be grey water(water that was used in sinks and showers that is filtered for particles before going into the toilet.

Finally toilets should have 2 buttons, 1 for number 1, and another for number 2. The first uses very little water, the second more.



Those 3 things combined should help considerably.

 

^ Those are good suggestions but sometimes unless you've got a fire hose in the bidet you need to wipe.

 

we gotta start working on our "perfect dumps"