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Why Men Don't Want To Get Married

Discussion in 'BBS Hangout' started by MiddleMan, Apr 27, 2007.

  1. Sishir Chang

    Sishir Chang Member

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    Its hard to take such a bile filled article seriously but I think there is some valuable advice in it. I seriously think that many people get married without really thinking it through and while society has changed quite a bit since the days of where you would be considered weird if you weren't married by 25 there still is a not so subtle push for it.

    I hate to blame the media as it is a reflection of culture but there are many false expectations out there painted by it. For that matter there is a huge marriage business that along with the holiday business has created a seriously over inflated image regarding events like weddings. I often get the feeling that there are many people out there getting married so they can have their magical wedding without really thinking about what happens 6 months down the line or 6 years.

    Marriage should be one of the most serious decisions that should be made and really needs to be thought about it in the long term. It shouldn't be about having a wonderful wedding or getting laid regularly. You gotta think about it as when the magic is gone and your signifcant other is fat, balding or has a big @ss do you still want to be with them. If you can't answer that question I don't think you should get married.

    And I'm saying this as a guy in his late 30's who isnt and hasn't been married.
     
  2. MR. MEOWGI

    MR. MEOWGI Contributing Member

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    My wife had both a fat ass and was bald when I married her, so it's not problem.
     
  3. bnb

    bnb Member

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    But did y'all ever get anything truly worth having without taking a risk??

    In the immortal words of that wise man, Tommy Cruise -- 'sometimes, ya' just gotta say...what the F, and make your move.' Overthink it...and you'll never do anything. What a pathetic life that would be. I'd rather regret the things I've done, then the ones I didn't....

    I'm thinking that sorry bunch of people in the rant would be messed up anyways, even had they not been married....

    I love my marriage. My wife may have been stuck with a dud....but I've made out pretty great in the deal!
     
  4. MadMax

    MadMax Member

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    but child support is capped. there's a formula based on the number of kids you have and your disposable income. once that kid hits 18, it's done.

    the concept of alimony, like i've seen in one instance from a divorce decree in NY where the woman was literally paid around $100K/year for the right to be divorced, is not a reality here.
     
  5. MadMax

    MadMax Member

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    the maximum is 3 years. the maximum amount is $2,500/month. you can only qualify for it if you've been married for 10 years and you are unable to support yourself.

    this is very different from what we think about when we say alimony.
     
  6. The_Yoyo

    The_Yoyo Member

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    i am still abit young but i look at my boss, he married a woman 3 years older than him and honestly i dont think he is happy in his marriage. he seems to complain a lot about stuff she does and while he makes more than enough to support his family she stays at home and watches his two kids, though she could easily get a good job later on. he LOVES his two kids though and at times i feel like he is in it for his two kids. it doesnt seem like he can do the stuff he wants to do because of her. i feel bad for him, though i also feel that he is having an affair as well.

    seeing how he is handling his marriage is making me think twice before i jump into anything
     
  7. ymc

    ymc Member

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    It is simple. Nowadays, boys and girls are more equal than the old days. Therefore neither side needs to put up with the other any more. Also, a culture that has an emphasis on individualism also makes divorces more acceptable.
     
  8. ymc

    ymc Member

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    Contrary to you, I don't think your friends got ****ed.

    Situation 1: I don't think women likes to cheat in general. If she cheats, there must be something wrong in their relationship. But since you didn't say anything bad about Steve, there is nothing we can conclude here.

    Situation 2: Barry's wife was with him for his whole career. She sacrificed herself to be the homemaker such that he can pursue his with vigor. There is nothing wrong that she is entitled to half of his worth.

    Situation 3: I think the moral of this story is that "never marry with an abusive person".

    As per situation 2 that happens a lot, the moral of the story is that you should accumulate your wealth well before your marriage because those will be your property no matter what. If you marry, try to marry someone who makes a lot of dough such that it is they who are screwed instead of you.
     
  9. F.D. Khan

    F.D. Khan Member

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    Though I feel I provide well enough where my wife or girlfriend didn't have to work, I would want her to have something professionally or anything to motivate and have her work at least a few days a week. Children become institutionalized at 3 or 4 nowadays so are at school etc. from 7:30 till 3:00.

    What is someone to do ALL day without taking time for granted and making a big deal about everything? Free time is amazing if its not ALL THE TIME! I've seen women that stay home tend to nag and nag and overanalyze everything and not just enjoy relaxing because they have so much free time.

    Thats why suicide rates are so high amongst lottery winners. If you have a Pappas Bros. Filet every night for dinner then even it starts to taste like crap!
     
  10. Invisible Fan

    Invisible Fan Member

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    It's true. Money can buy happiness, but the problem is that too many people ignore diminishing returns. They equate money to the bell from Pavlov's dog. 2 more Porches isn't gonna make you happier than the first one that took you 15 years to buy.

    As for the topic, Steve and his wife were in a marriage of convenience. Both would only stay to keep their money and status quo at the expense of long term happiness. They or either one of them only got screwed if they liked money more than freedom.
     
  11. rrj_gamz

    rrj_gamz Member

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    Well, before I comment, I'm waiting for Swoly's wonderful comments about the sanctity of marriage...oh wait...

    I do believe marriage for some people work...It didn't in my case, but that's another story...I can say that I go "bowling" with the ladies a hell of alot more than when i was married, but that's not why it didn't work...

    In the end, IMHO, men get F*cked because of the crappy divorce laws that assumes all women are saints and do so much...bs...

    Do I see myself getting married again, sure...but I think it'll take a very special woman, and it should...
     
  12. ymc

    ymc Member

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    If you marry a rich lady, then it will be her who is screwed. But then she might not be hot enough for you? ;)

    I think the laws are fine as is. Just remember not to marry poor girls. That's it.
     
  13. Rocket River

    Rocket River Member

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    It is because folx still think we in the 50s
    and 90% of wome nare 'homemakers' with no skills

    Rocket River
     
  14. Ubiquitin

    Ubiquitin Member
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    Is there a way guys benefit from divorce?
     
  15. RocketMan Tex

    RocketMan Tex Member

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    Cheat on you while you are working!! :eek: ;) :D
     
  16. Rookie

    Rookie Member

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    The benefit is it is usually worth every penny!
     
  17. StupidMoniker

    StupidMoniker I lost a bet

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    Looks like someone has never heard the term palimony. I don't know how it is in Texas, but in California simply not getting married is not enough to protect your wealth. A better solution is to have a prenuptial agreement so that the wife can be contractually excluded from (much of) your wealth in case of divorce.
     
  18. finalsbound

    finalsbound Member

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    i thought it was an amusing article.

    i don't agree with the assertion that all marriages are from hell.

    #1 cause of divorce: b****y, overbearing people (don't marry one), and cheating (don't cheat). It's amazing how many celebrities get married, then divorced after six months. it's just - "okay," i guess. i do not for one second believe that those people were truly in love though. lust is fleeting...then you just get tired of that person.

    i know sooooo many people that are extremely happy in their marriage.
     
  19. thegary

    thegary Member

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    i know plenty of happily married peeps and plenty who are divorced. i don't care a flip about the sanctity of marriage, i'm the anti-swoly as far as that goes. if you don't want to spend your life with someone else, if you don't like being part of a unit, don't get married or get a divorce if needed. my wife kicks ass :eek: and i like being married with children but hey, it's not for everyone.
     
  20. ymc

    ymc Member

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    Try marry a female surgeon making 300k a year or a Britney Spears without prenup. ;)
     

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