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Why I am now Divorced

Discussion in 'BBS Hangout' started by crossover, Mar 30, 2011.

  1. VanityHalfBlack

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    So your pretty secretary tricked you into wanting to sleep with you on your birthday?? That is a horrible surprise birthday party, I don't remember it being like that at all?? It would always be a regular day with your loved ones saying happy birthday then you go to work and when you get home everything is dark and you turn on the lights and everyone you know screams, Happy Birthday...
    It sucks more that your wife was in on this..
     
  2. rrj_gamz

    rrj_gamz Member

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    Oldie but goodie...
     
  3. rtsy

    rtsy Member

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    I honesty first heard it in the 1970's. No joke.
     
  4. smoove shoez

    smoove shoez Member

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    Bacon and eggs walk into a bar.
    The bartender says, "I'm sorry we don't serve breakfast here.
     
    1 person likes this.
  5. Mr. Brightside

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    This is one of the oldest things on the Internet. I think I read it back in 1987 even before I knew what a computer was.
     
  6. dsnow23

    dsnow23 Member

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    Hilarious. I hadn't read it before. Repped.
     
  7. RedRedemption

    RedRedemption Member

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    Most hilarious thing I read all day.
     
  8. conquistador#11

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    The naked man! It's like a hail mary.

    I actually thought the op was not joking!
     
  9. moestavern19

    moestavern19 Member

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    Once upon a time I was engaged to a beautiful, wonderful woman from a wealthy family. She was everything I could have ever wanted, but her sister flirted with me constantly. She would always wear revealing outfits around me and stare at me lustfully whenever I would glance at her. It became almost unbearable because I was so in love with my fiancee, but her sister was smoking hot blonde with a Grade A rack and a coke-bottle figure.

    Nevertheless I remained faithful until our Wedding Day. On the night before the rehearsal dinner, my fiancee's sister asked me to come to their house so I could help her set up some things before the guests arrived. When I got there, she was dressed in skimpy clothing as usual, and I realized we were alone together in the house.

    Slowly she approached me with the calm, collected manner of a killer descending upon its prey. She said a few words about how she had wanted this for a long time, but it was all a blur in my head. I knew what this as going to lead to and I had a difficult choice to make. Finally she said "I'll be upstairs waiting for you" and then slowly ascended up the staircase, discarding every piece of clothing she had on, giving me a full-on view of her svelte, vibrant figure.

    I turned away and walked out the front door and was startled beyond all belief to find my future Father-in-law was standing outside with tears in his eyes. He gave me a big hug and said "You have passed my test, you are truly worthy to marry my daughter, welcome to the family".

    I learned a very important lesson that day.

    Always keep your condoms in your car.
     
    #29 moestavern19, Mar 30, 2011
    Last edited: Mar 30, 2011
  10. Jontro

    Jontro Member

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    My first time reading it, thought it was pretty funny.
     
  11. SuperBeeKay

    SuperBeeKay Member

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    Works only 2/3rd of the time. Sorry man
     
  12. Dei

    Dei Member

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    I don't get it.
     
  13. A_3PO

    A_3PO Member

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    You can't be serious. I thought I set the standard for density.
     
  14. Invisible Fan

    Invisible Fan Member

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    So it really happened when you heard it in the 70s? What was the wife's reaction?












    Did he bang the secretary?
     
  15. Mack

    Mack Member

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    So, I was out having a drink Friday night, and got to talking with a really hot, really attractive 50 year-old woman. (I'm 46.) We had a couple drinks, and were getting along well. After the third drink, she whispered in my ear, "Would you like to try a Mother/Daughter thing?"

    I said, "Hell yes!" and we got in my car, and drove to her house.

    We went in the front door, she dropped her keys on the entry table, and shouted upstairs, "Hey, Mom? You up?"
     
  16. edwardc

    edwardc Member

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    Thats *uckedup man.
     
  17. Rocket River

    Rocket River Member

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    I will have to Carlos Mencia this one!

    Rocket River
     

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