1. Welcome! Please take a few seconds to create your free account to post threads, make some friends, remove a few ads while surfing and much more. ClutchFans has been bringing fans together to talk Houston Sports since 1996. Join us!

Why don't we all have a recall by Bill Maher

Discussion in 'BBS Hangout: Debate & Discussion' started by BMoney, Sep 9, 2005.

  1. BMoney

    BMoney Contributing Member

    Joined:
    Feb 16, 2004
    Messages:
    17,359
    Likes Received:
    10,538
    Originally appeared in the LA Times, taken from

    http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2005/9/9/184949/2097




    America must recall the president. That's what this country needs: a good old fashioned California-style recall election complete with petitions, finger-pointing and a ridiculous cast of replacement candidates.
    Just like Gray Davis had to do here in California, George W. Bush must now defend his job against...Russell Crowe! Because at this point, I want a leader who'll throw a phone at somebody. Naomi Campbell can be vice president-only phone throwers people!
    Come on, Mr. President, this can't be fun for you anymore.
    You can't spend more of our money, because you used it all up. And you can't start another war, because you've used up the troops. And when it comes to reacting to hurricanes, you made your old man look like St. Francis of Assisi.
    Your job has turned into a nightmare: helping poor black people.
    The cupboard's bare, the credit card's maxed out and no one's speaking to you - mission accomplished!
    Now it's time to do what you do best: lose interest and walk away, like you did with your military service and the oil company and the baseball team.

    Time to move on and try the next fantasy job. How about cowboy or spaceman?
    Oh, I know what you're saying: "Hey, I've got three more years, and there's so many other things I want to ...touch." Please don't.
    I know. I know, there's so much left to do: war with Venezuela, eliminating the sales tax on yachts and diamonds, turning the space program over to the church, handing healthcare over to Halliburton and Social Security to Fannie Mae, giving embryos the vote.
    But none of that's going to happen now. Why? Because you're the first American president to lose a whole city. Jimmy Carter never lost a city. Herbert Hoover was a lousy president, but he didn't concede an entire metropolis to rising water and snakes.
    You've performed so poorly you should give yourself a medal. You're a catastrophe that walks like a man. On your watch we've lost almost all of our allies, the budget surplus, four airliners, two trade centers, a piece of the Pentagon and the city of New Orleans. Maybe your just not lucky.
    I'm not saying you don't love this country. I'm just wondering how much worse it could be if you were on the other side. Yes, God does speak to you. And he's saying: "Take a hint."
     
  2. tigermission1

    tigermission1 Contributing Member

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2002
    Messages:
    15,557
    Likes Received:
    17
    LOL! Bill Maher is one of favorite comedians. I love political humor, don't care what side you support. He's certainly one of the most honest and 'blunt' people on TV, and that's why I respect him, although I often find myself in disagreement w/him on many things.
     
  3. bigtexxx

    bigtexxx Contributing Member

    Joined:
    Jun 12, 2002
    Messages:
    26,925
    Likes Received:
    2,265
    I always get a good chuckle out of the liberals' blatant frustration and helplessness. It really brings a smile to my face!
     
  4. bigtexxx

    bigtexxx Contributing Member

    Joined:
    Jun 12, 2002
    Messages:
    26,925
    Likes Received:
    2,265
    By the way, Bill, it's you're, not "your". haaaahahahahahaha
     
  5. thacabbage

    thacabbage Contributing Member

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 1999
    Messages:
    6,993
    Likes Received:
    144
    LOL!! That is hilarious!!
     
  6. Deckard

    Deckard Blade Runner
    Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Mar 28, 2002
    Messages:
    56,812
    Likes Received:
    39,119
    Laugh now, right winger, you're going down in the midterm elections!! Bwaaaahahahahahaha



    Keep D&D Civil!!
     
  7. HayesStreet

    HayesStreet Member

    Joined:
    Oct 1, 1999
    Messages:
    8,506
    Likes Received:
    181
    I actually don't care for Bill Maher at all. Watched him a few times and just do not think he is funny.

    But...

    that was funny.
     
  8. SWTsig

    SWTsig Contributing Member

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2002
    Messages:
    13,937
    Likes Received:
    3,532
    you're barely holding on.... grasping for material.

    lame.
     
  9. bigtexxx

    bigtexxx Contributing Member

    Joined:
    Jun 12, 2002
    Messages:
    26,925
    Likes Received:
    2,265
    Sincerely,

    Deckard, October 2002
     
  10. Dreamshake

    Dreamshake Contributing Member

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 1999
    Messages:
    1,708
    Likes Received:
    1
    Sincerely,


    BigTexxxx -Every senate election before this recent run of southern conservatism.
     
  11. percicles

    percicles Contributing Member

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2002
    Messages:
    10,836
    Likes Received:
    2,889
    Bill Mahr is a Libertarian. ahahahhh jokes on you....
     
  12. Dreamshake

    Dreamshake Contributing Member

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 1999
    Messages:
    1,708
    Likes Received:
    1
    Bill Mahr is the funniest mofo out there. Him and Jon Stewart.

    But lets not pretend that Mahr isnt more left. Hes about as Middle of the road or FAIR and BALANCED (lol I chuckle everytime I hear that) as Shawn Hannity or Fox news.
     
  13. NewYorker

    NewYorker Ghost of Clutch Fans

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2002
    Messages:
    6,130
    Likes Received:
    41
    Do you really believe that - now that's funny. Nothing against his stances, I actually think he makes a lot of sense and raises great questions, but he does lean left...
     
  14. Deckard

    Deckard Blade Runner
    Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Mar 28, 2002
    Messages:
    56,812
    Likes Received:
    39,119
    No doubt about it. Mahr is pushin' elbows with glynch!
    Jon Stewart is simply the most brilliant guy on television.
     
  15. tigermission1

    tigermission1 Contributing Member

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2002
    Messages:
    15,557
    Likes Received:
    17
    Bill Maher is in the same mold as Thomas Friedman. His views on social issues are definitely liberal, but he's hawkish on foreign policy. He bashes the Dems about as much as he bashes the Repubs, He doesn't make any attempt to be 'fair and balanced' and clearly states his views, so at least he's honest with himself.
     
  16. TMac640

    TMac640 Contributing Member

    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2005
    Messages:
    5,484
    Likes Received:
    1
    bigtexxx got served!
     
  17. xlr817

    xlr817 Member

    Joined:
    Jul 25, 2002
    Messages:
    790
    Likes Received:
    72
  18. oomp

    oomp Contributing Member

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2000
    Messages:
    4,557
    Likes Received:
    85
    This was acually his closing monologue from this week's "Real Time" on HBO. He changed some of it up, but it was still pretty good.
     
  19. Lil Pun

    Lil Pun Contributing Member

    Joined:
    Oct 6, 1999
    Messages:
    34,132
    Likes Received:
    1,021
    "Real Time" is my favorite political show on television, I like it even more than his older show "Politically Incorrect" because it is uncensored and everything can be let out.
     
  20. basso

    basso Contributing Member
    Supporting Member

    Joined:
    May 20, 2002
    Messages:
    29,691
    Likes Received:
    6,379
    http://www.sluggerotoole.com/archives/2005/09/ill_wind_may_no.php

    --
    By Newton Emerson

    As the full horror of Hurricane Katrina sinks in, thousands of desperate columnists are asking if this is the end of George Bush's presidency. The answer is almost certainly yes, provided that every copy of the US Constitution was destroyed in the storm. Otherwise President Bush will remain in office until noon on January 20th, 2009, as required by the 20th Amendment, after which he is barred from seeking a third term anyway under the 22nd Amendment.

    As the full horror of this sinks in, thousands of desperate columnists are asking if the entire political agenda of George Bush's second term will not still be damaged in some terribly satisfying way.

    The answer is almost certainly yes, provided that the entire political agenda of George Bush's second term consists of repealing the 22nd Amendment. Otherwise, with a clear Republican majority in both Houses of Congress, he can carry on doing pretty much whatever he likes.

    As the full horror of this sinks in, thousands of desperate columnists are asking if the Republican Party itself will now suffer a setback at the congressional mid-term elections next November.

    The answer is almost certainly yes, provided that people outside the disaster zone punish their local representatives for events elsewhere a year previously, both beyond their control and outside their remit, while people inside the disaster zone reward their local representatives for an ongoing calamity they were supposed to prevent. Otherwise, the Democratic Party will suffer a setback at the next congressional election.

    As the full horror of this sinks in, thousands of desperate columnists are asking if an official inquiry will shift the blame for poor planning and inadequate flood defences on to the White House. The answer is almost certainly yes, provided nobody admits that emergency planning is largely the responsibility of city and state agencies, and nobody notices that the main levee which broke was the only levee recently modernised with federal funds. Otherwise, an official inquiry will pin most of the blame on the notoriously corrupt and incompetent local governments of New Orleans and Louisiana.

    As the full horror of this sinks in, thousands of desperate columnists are asking if George Bush contributed to the death toll by sending so many national guard units to Iraq.

    The answer is almost certainly yes, provided nobody recalls that those same columnists have spent the past two years blaming George Bush for another death toll by not sending enough national guard units to Iraq. Otherwise, people might wonder why they have never previously read a single article advocating large-scale military redeployment during the Caribbean hurricane season.

    As the full horror of this sinks in, thousands of desperate columnist are asking how a civilised city can descend into anarchy.

    The answer is that only a civilised city can descend into anarchy.

    As the full horror of this sinks in, thousands of desperate columnists are asking if George Bush should be held responsible for the terrible poverty in the southern states revealed by the flooding.

    The answer is almost certainly yes, provided nobody holds Bill Clinton responsible for making Mississippi the poorest state in the union throughout his entire term as president, or for making Arkansas the second-poorest state in the union throughout his entire term as governor. Otherwise, people might suspect that it is a bit more complicated than that.

    As the full horror of this sinks in, thousands of desperate columnists are asking if George Bush should not be concerned by accusations of racism against the federal government.

    The answer is almost certainly yes, provided nobody remembers that Jesse Jackson once called New York "Hymietown" and everybody thinks Condoleezza Rice went shopping for shoes when the hurricane struck because she cannot stand black people.

    Otherwise sensible Americans of all races will be more concerned by trite, cynical and dangerous political opportunism.

    As the full horror of that sinks in, this columnist is simply glad that everybody cares.
     

Share This Page

  • About ClutchFans

    Since 1996, ClutchFans has been loud and proud covering the Houston Rockets, helping set an industry standard for team fan sites. The forums have been a home for Houston sports fans as well as basketball fanatics around the globe.

  • Support ClutchFans!

    If you find that ClutchFans is a valuable resource for you, please consider becoming a Supporting Member. Supporting Members can upload photos and attachments directly to their posts, customize their user title and more. Gold Supporters see zero ads!


    Upgrade Now