Why don't I have any friends?

Yeah, see, that's why you don't have any friends.

 

put the pipe down and stop watching a movie alone with people in the house. it's called, anti-social.

 

Awesome thread.

Why don't you just LOOSEN UP and start being nice to people? Whether or not you think you're superior to them. You're looking for deep meaningful conversation the first time you meet someone? Most guys aren't wired like that. We just want to share a beer and talk sports.

I was at a party this weekend for one of my wife’s best friends. She had all her friends there, but all the other husbands that I was counting on being there opted out at the last minute. So I was stuck there with a bunch of women.

There were 3 guys out in the backyard grilling and drinking that I didn't know – some of the neighbors, I later found out.

It was hard, but I made myself go out there and start a conversation with them. It wasn’t easy because they all knew each other and were talking about their high school days (they all went to school together).

I introduced myself and made a joke about not wanting to be with the women all night. I didn’t push it, but just sort of eased myself into the group a little bit at a time.

I could have easily just sat there thinking to myself what horrible taste in music these guys had (one of them had his iPod docked and on shuffle), but decided to go a different route and ended up hanging out there all night – and having a pretty good time.

Seriously, that’s all you have to do. Just be nice to people. Especially guys. Most of us don't want to talk about the meaning of life the first time we meet each other. We'd much rather just drink a beer and talk about sports.

Really not that complicated.

 

Lol. I think I met the OP on Saturday night. If not, someone like him.

I went out with my buddy and his girlfriend to meet some of her friends out. She made mention that this one guy who was engaged to her friend was going to be there and he had absolutely zero personality, and she was pissed her friend was going to marry him, but they both reeked of being with someone.

Anyway, I ignored him most of the evening until he had a conniption fit over smoke blowing by the table. (we were outside.) I looked over at him and said to quit being so dramatic, and he got the other people at the table to storm off. His fiance texted my friend's girl later on berating me for being a jerk.

OP, you weren't at Melvin on Saturday, were you?

 

Do you want acquaintances or true friends? The difference? True friendship is usually forged through fire, whereas acquaintances are built more on circumstances. True friends won't sleep with your wife/gf. Acquaintances will not only bone your woman, but will also wipe their schlong on the guest towels and drink your last beer.

 

I don't think there is anything wrong with you if you don't like socializing and being friends with your fiance's law school friends. I went to law school and ended up avoiding 99% of my classmates outside of school. If found the large majority of them to be overly pedantic, self-centered, and uninteresting in social settings. So, you may not have any friends, but I wouldn't be worried about not being friends with that particular group of people.

 

Funny, when I tell JV I feel like I don't have any friends it means I haven't seen my friends since the last weekend or my circle of decent acquaintances seems to have dropped below 200 people or so. I'm an extreme extrovert so I can't entirely relate to this problem.

But, I wonder whether you are ignoring social norms and it is sending a different message than you intend. Having a number of friends from other cultures I would suggest that social norms are neither universal nor innate. You have to learn them and some people are better at that than others. In France, for example, I'm generally viewed as being overly friendly. They shrug it off because I'm American but if I smile at strangers it is viewed as flirtatious. Even across the US there are a lot of different standards. Houston is a very friendly city. Not saying hello to someone or at least giving a nod or a smile is often viewed as rude. Going to a party and then not speaking to anyone is also not particularly acceptable. If you don't like the subject of conversation find a subject you are both interested in - there must be something.

You don't have to "click" with everyone. But I think you are probably missing out on the opportunity to have good friendships with people you really would like by being too unapproachable.

Also, for the sake of your fiance, you really should try to lighten up. She might not complain about it but if she is much more social than you are it will weigh on her emotionally. Either she will start living her social life quite seperate from you (not healthy for your marriage) or she will constantly be making excuses for your behaviour and spend less and less time with others to fill the social hole in your life.

 

I think I see the problem. You have a chemical issue for sure. Pain killers, weed, alcohol, adderal, celexa, whatever it was you took on that vegas trip, etc etc etc. What all kinds/types of drugs have you taken in your life? Have you done a lot of rec drugs that affect seratonin levels? Like x?

 

If you take nothing else from this thread, we can at least all take this gem of advice from Ms. V.

 

Friends are overrated.

 

I'm a 6 - but I could shoot anywhere from the mid-70s to the mid-80s depending on the day.

 

Haha. You know what, sir? I have a life... family, work, and FRIENDS... maybe that's why I took 10 pages or one whole day to answer your unsolicited comment about my wife... no bigge, though... my advice to you is to get out and stop being an ass... and enjoy life and find some cool things to do.

No biggie, we're still cool. I'm not offended easily, but someone else would have already shot your happy ass. Mmmkay?

 

dayummm....the hell is going on here??

 

I gotcha. The cheap shot of FRIENDS was within the context of the thread.
Maybe you call me "senor swoly" because you don't know how to properly spell out the word "Señor"?

I just think you're taking this "why don't I have FRIENDS" thing a bit too seriously, yo. Also, you've gotten enough responses to figure out what's going on... decide something... don't let this "not enough friends" thing go longer than this, sir.