Good to know you treat the people on this bbs (at least in this thread), not to mention the women in your life, the same.
If her sole purpose was just to vent, then yes, I agree with you. However, based on her previous posts about her relationships, she seems incredibly ambivalent about her husband and is either too insecure, too tired, or too guilty to get out. I don't know this for a fact nor do I pretend to. However,"Ferdinand" seems to be an unemployed, unmotivated, insensitive, non-descript, plodder. He sounds incredibly mediocre. The bottom line is she may be perfectly happy but needs a little anonymous bbs venting. However, she may also actually feel the way she posts which is unfortunate and depressing. If I was really her friend, I would lay out the choices: Accept his mediocrity, understand his faults and make the best of it or try to find someone better.
Oh, damn, now you made my top 10 list of funniest posts ever! LOL!!! You know, if you are having loads of sex with dozens of women all by treating them like dog****, good for you. I'm thrilled for you and I hope you live happily ever after.
Thanks for the advice and support... I understand what my choices are. That makes sense. I don't mean to whine about it forever. I'm just having trouble deciding which one of the choices is the right path to take. Sigh...
As far as my 2 cents go, it's ultimately a question of you asking yourself whether your relationship is reconcilable and whether is worth reconciling. I have not had the pleasure of meeting you nor have I had the pleasure of meeting your significant other. Because of that, I do not think that I personally could give you advice on what is best for your situation. Marriages go through rough times. By that, I mean times, albeit brief, when you feel that the relationship is beyond hope. I think most of the married people on this board would agree with me on that. The key there is to not let your emotions get the best of you and for you to be honest with yourself in determining what is best for you. Do not let people's marital success stories influence you into thinking that you guys are doing something wrong or that you guys are not putting forth the effort necessary. The bottom line is that it is not a question of a good person/bad person, but rather a question of compatibility. I do not doubt for a second that both you and your significant other are good people who mean well. But sometimes, two good, well-intentioned people are just not compatible. We all know that very good people get divorces and sometimes that is what is necessary, especially if you are in a stage in your life when starting over is plausible. In a nutshell, my advice to you would be for you to sit down with your spouse and have a serious talk. Don't just say this casually or passing by, but rather sit down and talk to him. Let him know your grievances and tell him that something needs to be done to fix the issues that you are having amongst yourselves. Guys can be assholes, but if a lady seriously threatens to leave, I bet you 9 guys out of 10 will get their act together. If you tell him that you want out and he is indifferent, then you know that calling it quits is probably a good option. Don't do anything rash and don't make a decision when emotions are high. You seem to be an intelligent, young lady. I know you will do what's best for you and your situation.
<b>Isabel</b>, this line just really jumped off the page at me. It sounds like you talked about separating but he was not in favor of it. At some point you get what you want too, right? I have a woman friend of some 18 years. For the last 8 years I've been one of her figurative shoulders to cry on about a philandering husband. I told her to kick him out 8 years ago and she's just getting around to "maybe" doing it-- and there are 4 chldren involved now instead of just two. I know you're not dealing with infidelity, but it is your life and this is no dress rehearsal. You should have things the way you want them with reasonable concession... but not isolation and a lack of nonsexual intimacy. <b>synergy</b>, you make me fear for not only my three daughters but all daughters everywhere. Sure there are guys and girls out there like that. Back in the 19the century they were called outlaws and they were just outside the law's protection. There are other people that you can run with; you can find them in many places. But then, too, you can find what you've found and what you are apparently looking for. I hope it's not regrettable one day.
I felt inspired by synergy, so I went out to a few bars and tried out his tactics. Needless to say, I've got my very own Hoe-train huddled around my computer right now. Say hello hoes Hoe-train: Hello hoes...oh my gawd...*giggles and laughter* Yup, they are all catches.