I didn't say anything about pretending to be an ******* or anything. You are telling me that you didn't establish boundaries or expected behavior in your relationship? I think that until you find that Mrs. Right you have to protect yourself. Being honest and open with most single women these days will just give her a chance to walk right over you. I have seen it over and over again. I am not going to be completely open until I get some kind of trust with the woman. My girl and I are past that stage and I trust her, so yes I am open with her. But originally, I was nowhere as trusting and open with her as I am now. I am happy to be with my girl, but I do feel as though she did put her friends ahead of me this weekend. She has never done this before and I am not going to put up with it. I just have let her know that this is not acceptable. Call that being an ******* or whatever, but that is just my way of letting her know when I think she ****ed up. Now I am not going to go over to her place and pull an Ike Turner and kick everyone out and kick her ass. That is not me. But I have let her know that being taken for granted is not what I am looking for. Now....with all that said, I am sure she can recite atleast 10 days last year that I was at a Texans tailgate before and after the games inwhich she really took a backseat to my friends/family.
Okay, so you want guys to put a lid on any emotions they feel at the moment (being upset) to make you feel better by faking it, but women are allowed to overblow things and be emotional b/c 'that's the way they ALL are.' Double standard perhaps? Men and women have and always will be different in the ways they respond to stresses, that's just the way each sex is wired, I can't believe an educated woman such as yourself hasn't caught on to this yet...or maybe you have, but you're just blowing off some steam from an example of this fact. The latter is more believable, rough times can really suck in a relationship. Hope everything goes better for you in the future.
It goes both ways. If you put up with someone not treating you well thats because you choose to. Sometimes people get attached and then they start to believe that they will not be able to find anyone out there better than what they currently have. Not me though. I live my life as stress free as possible and when someone cares about you and they are mature they will work with you to not cause you stress. If I find a female that is down with that she can stick around as long as she doesn't start trippin and remains honest. I will be faithful and do her right as long as I feel I am being treated right. There will always be ups and downs but as long as both people are on the same page meaning that they both agree they want to make things work then they will. Its not that difficult. The difficult part is finding someone to do this with and then once you do you have to hope that you were not just a phase in their life they were going through and they don't change into someone else.
If you are nasty and treat your girls like crap.....and then once you find out that she is worth being your partner, you treat her like a woman should be treated.......who is being dishonest in that relationship?? all I gotta say aside from that is that I totally agree with AggieROcket and Behad... you aint gotta be a dick to women....be the true man and if they arent worth being treated that way....move on till you find one that is. Aggie...me too ...I cant believe she actually stays with me...it amazes me everyday...
Hey Batman, Missed you around here...aren't you a big Queen fan? Had a big thread on them earlier this past week. Isabel, All I have to say is whatever you do, do NOT download mIRC!!
Dunno, more of anything the problem is not them, it is the fact that she was gone all day yesterday with them. I didn't get call, a text message, a smoke signal, or nothing all day until like 6. Then that was just to let me know that she was going to pick her her friend's b/f so they can spend the night. Then today I get a call this afternoon saying that they all are going to the movies and did I want to go. That ended up in me just saying something to the effect of, "When I have something to do, I let you know beforehand out of respect and so you won't be concerned or worried. You didn't do that, and now you want me to tag along with your friends' plans as an afterthought. I don't like that." She informed me that it was a last minute thing and her friend (female), just needed someone to talk to and be with at the time. Now, as the emotion is receding, I can see how that can sound macho or *******-ish. But that is how I felt. If I meet them, I would like it to be not as tagging along, or anything like that. I could have just gone with the plan, kept my mouth shut, but I would think that would send the message that her actions are fine. Everyone has their hangups and mine is being taken for granted. I hate that. I always think that if you take me for granted, then you can take our relationship for granted as well. It is nothing really serious, but I am just a lil ticked off right now. Especially when I was planning on setting up my old PC over there for her yesterday and today. So I plan to do something for you, but you choose to spend your weekend with your friends instead and then want me to tag along? No thanks.
I didn't say be a dick to women. I just said that synergy is doing a form of self-protection. I do believe that you can't meet a girl one day, and the next day treat her like she is your wife of 40 years. There is a certain comfort level you have with being with someone for 3 months compared to being with them years.
Yep, respect to Behad and AggieRocket. And not just for AggieRocket knowing how to use a computer at 63.
Because I know me. I am not that good at hiding my emotions. Wanting to discuss how I feel/felt would be eating me up. My actions, and demeanor would reflect that. That would make a non-serious situation worse because then we would be arguing about how I was with her friends.
The problem isn't gender. The problem is being an *******. That is free of gender discrimination. You can be an ******* and be a man or a woman. If you are an ******* of an opposite gender from the people who think you are an *******, those people will often blame your entire gender when, in reality, it's just you. Personally, I find many of men (several in this thread) an embarrasment to the gender just as I know many women find other women an embarrassment to their gender. It sucks. To prevent this thread from derailing too much further, the problem you are having Isabel is not a gender issue, but an ******* issue - to be blunt. When people are jerks and are unable to appreciate others - be it a partner, friend or family member - they aren't holding up their end of the bargain. No matter what the form a relationship takes, if one person is just a jackass, it is hard for the whole thing to survive. I'm really sorry that is happening to you. Despite not being able to REALLY know what people are like on the BBS, you seem like a good person and if what you have said is true about your husband, you (and no one else for that matter) don't deserve that kind of treatment. You deserve better. Sorry.
That may be one of the single dumbest things I've ever read on this board. It's at the very least in my top 10. By the way, syn, if you really hate women so much, why bother? Just pay a prostitute and get it over with or, better yet, be gay. At least then, you can be treated like crap by someone who can actually kick your ass when you act like a dick.
My dad will be 70 this year and he's an internet regular, including several chat rooms. I'm not trying to be adversarial, dskillz. I'm just trying to understand the reasoning behind this defense mechanism of yours. It sound to me like a lot of insecurity on your part. You didn't get a call because your girlfriend was busy with her friends, and that pissed you off? When I was dating my wife, we didn't have to know each others itinerary. If she told me it was important for her to help her friends that day, I would take it at face value that she felt it to be most important at that time. It wasn't her taking me for granted, it was her showing her loyalty, something I admire, because I knew she would show me the same loyalty. Why so defensive over it?
Thanks, Manny. I read the Queen thread -- just didn't have anything to add. My top song for the last month is "You're My Best Friend" though. It's on auto repeat in my head.
One last thought... Any chance we can actually get the thread back on topic? Isabel is a member of a pretty unique fraternity here. Personally, I see that this way: if we pick on each other, that's fine. We know each other. We argue. We fight. We tell jokes. That's fine. But, one of our own is being treated poorly by someone outside the fraternity. Time to not only give some support to Isabel, but to circle the wagons on Ferdinand. That's like picking on someone's little sister. I might be able to do it, but don't you EVEN think about doing it. Then again, based on some of the less-than-supportive responses I got when I told everyone I was getting divorced, I guess it isn't too surprising.
Actually, me being the smoothe operator that I am, I was finally able to get one of them (the friends) to sit and talk with me and have a sensible conversation(something I've been trying to do all along), and I think I smoothed most of the wrinkles.
