With constipation if it takes you too long to go, that thing could be as hard as a rock and really and truely rip you a new one.
Tough question - I would lean towards constipation except there is nothing worse than being unable to hold it and then just know that there is a f*cking explosion that came out of your ass. So, I go with diarrhea but only if I am not able to make it to a toilet in time.
Constipation. I've only been constipated once but it's a story I'll never live down. I was atleast 8 years old, just got out of school and rushed straight to the bathroom in my house. I went to go sit down, it started coming out about halfway, and just got stuck. My sister was downstairs and started hearing me screaming and crying like a baby because it was the kind of **** where it feels like there's peanuts inside. So it was basically this hard as rock **** with sharp peanut edges all around the base of it, and it was scratching up my ass everytime I'd try to push it out. Eventually my mom came home from work and heard me screaming and crying as my sister was on the other side of the bathroom door trying to tell me everything will be ok. My mom walked in and saw me in tears as my face was bright red, leaning my head over my knees trying to squeeze this turd out. It just wouldn't budge. I swear to god I dunno how mom did this but she said she'd get an enema for me, only we didn't have any of the enemas that are edible and go through your system and cause you to ****. She also didn't have any of the kind where it's just kind of a gushy gel that sadly goes up the ass. She had some old fashioned method that looked like a plunger built for the ass that scared me to death the first time I saw her bring it into my view. My sister still waiting on the otherside of the door thankfully came up with the suggestion to go to the store and get one of the gel kinds that go up the ass. My mom listened, I sat there for 20 more minutes in pain til she got back. Finally she rushed upstairs, as I lay bent over my knees trying to not move an inch with this steel turd hanging halfway out of my ass. This is where mom does something I don't think anyone in their right mind would do unless they were getting paid to do it. She grabbed the turd halfway out of me, broke it in half, and then put the enema inside for me all the while singing softly in my ear trying to calm me down. It took about 10 minutes for the enema to kick in but never in my life have I ever felt so much relief afterwards. I ended up eating like a vegetarian for a good 2 months after that incident but slowly lulled back towards eating other foods. Moral of the story: Mom's are the best, and constipation is the worst of the two.
Diarrhea has to win, due to the "sneaking up factor". I ate a huge lunch at Pancho's once and then went to Trader's Village and filled their economy size bowls twice. Not a pretty site. not fun either.
Ok, Londons Burning just reached top 10 on the 'most disgusting, yet I am LMAO' posts of the New Year.
No question, it'd have to be the shark. Razor-sharp teeth means no tearing and since you're in water, they'd be floating away from the rest of you thus diminishing the chance that other parts could be involved. Grizz would probably have to chew on 'em a bit.
This reminds me of Curt Schilling posting on the Sons of Sam Horn about who would win in a fight between a shark and a grizzly bear. I think he felt that the grizzly would win.
That was the sickest, yet funniest story that I have ever read. With that, this thread has come to an end.
Diarheea defintely stings, but YES you have progress. Constipation for me is just so damn frustrating. BUT, if I were at work or school or in public, I would rather be constipated. One of the worst feelings in the world is sitting on a dirty public toilet peeing from your pooper. TIE
Constipation is worse, unless you don't have unlimited toilet access in which case the Big D can be deadly.
A-train you made my day. sad isnt it. post of the year so far. id go with diarrhea since i have never had constipation. London's Burning...funny story but the next time you have an urge to tell a story that involves your mom and an orifice of your body...keep it to yourself.
