once they called asking for money for kids with cancer. my friend, who answered the phone, replied, "I'm sorry, I don't really like kids, especially those with cancer." it was hilarious.
Sometimes I wonder about you DBC... I usually just speak jibberish to them. Its pretty entertaining. Or just say "Flaivn" about 20 times.
Last summer I was a telephone survey person for about 6 weeks (much different than a telemarketer as they often reminded us to say even though it really isn't). It is very BORING (which is why I did the minimum 3 days a week work). VesceySux, your parents' friends are like the highlight of the working day. We love people who say crazy **** cuz it's a lot better than listening to a phone ring over and over and over and over.... and over and over... and did I mention it is boring. Also, Raven Lunatic, you are the type of person we push the "call back" option for. No taking people off the calling list for being jerks. It's the telephone survey version of revenge. Same to you treeman. Nothing gives us more pleasure than thinking we might ruin tomorrow's dinner, also. Of course we would never be as persistent as some of those callers since we aren't selling anything. Anyway, now that I'm a civilian again I have no problem hanging up on telemarketers. I'll usually let them finish the opening paragraph and say "i'm not interested" (and i should add "why the **** did you call a college student at 9:40 in the damn morning like I would actually buy a credit card then). If they keep talking, a phone hangs up on them.
You guys think you have it bad??? Try working from home with a business and a home phone sitting there. I've answered as many as 10 solicitations in one day. 99% of the time, I hang up before they even get to me. That click at the beginning and then silence while you say "hello" 3 times is a dead giveaway. However, if they do get to me I say, "No thanks" and hang up before they ask anything else.
This is very true as well. One time a door to door salesman came by and was making his sell on me. I am much more polite in person than on the phone, so I couldn't bring myself to just slam the door in his face. But after a while, I said something along the lines of "I'm sorry, I am just not interested." So he said something like "Okay, do you mind if I give you this free coupon for such and such." I said, "Sure, I guess" Him: "The coupon can be used for our product and I think you will find that ...blah blah blah." He totally launched into his spiel again, and that really pissed me off. So, I signaled to my roomate that I needed help, and he picked up my dog, who had been barking loudly at the man the whole time (he does it to everyone), and said loudly "Hey Matt, get over here and have sex with this dog in the ass." So, I turned to the salesman and calmly said, "I have to go have sex with my dog in the ass," and I closed the door on his face. To this day, I wish I had a picture of the look on his face when I did this. Just the right combination of shock, suspicion and a hint of offense he might have taken at my comment. I like to think that if I was a salesman, I would enjoy it when people get creative in their methods to avoid my sales pitch...but I guess this guy didn't.
That just goes to show: always trust your dog when he barks uncontrollably at the person at the door. Bible salesmen and Jehova's Witnesses will be barked at. Vacuum cleaner salesmen and representatives from encyclopedia publishers will be barked at. Anyone from a DS-Max company will get barked at. Meter-readers, people with actual appointments, and Victoria's Secret salespeople will only be barked at until it's understood who they really are. And then the dog can bark at the meter-readers... Always trust your dog's instinct.
NOTICE: All suggestions have been tested and approved for use on telemarketers. No animals were harmed in the testing. 1. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on, Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?" 2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems. My arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died . . . " 3. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work if they are married, how many kids they have, etc. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary. 4. This works great if you are male. Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with XYZ Company. " You: Wait for a second and with a real husky voice ask, "What are you wearing?" 5. Cry out in surprise, "Judy? Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where she could know you from. 6. Say "No" over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up. 7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends, would you be my friend?" 8. If the company cleans rugs, respond: "Can you get out blood? Can you get out goat blood? How about human blood?" 9. After the Telemarketer gives his or her spiel, ask him or her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you can't just give your credit card number to a complete stranger. 10. Tell the Telemarketer that you work for the same company, and they can't sell to employees. 11. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a Telemarketer, set the receiver down, scream, "Oh my God!" and then hang up. 12. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask him/her if he/she will give you his/her home phone number so you can call him/her back. When the Telemarketer explains that telemarketers cannot give out their home numbers say, "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The Telemarketer will agree and you say, "Me either!" Hang up. 13. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times. 14. Tell them it is dinner time, but ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation. 15. Tell the Telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could bring you some beer. 16. Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a number. 17. Tell the Telemarketer, "Okay, I'll listen to you. But I should probably tell you, I'm not wearing any clothes." 18. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money. 19. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up . . . louder . . . louder . . . 20. Tell them to talk very slowly, because you want to write every word down.
When I was in college, we used to get these calls all the time. Well, my last year, about October or so, we got this call. My roommate picked it up (new roommate), and he starts saying "Oh, this isn't a good time, my husband just left me" and starts sobbing, whining, etc. and the telemarketer hung up. EVEN after changing rooms the next semester, we never got another telemarketing call. Since that day, I've never gotten one.
Another good one for people with a cordless. Let them start up their dribble and then say "hang on I just have to answer my front door" Then start making like its a home invasion with lots of yelling and then just go quiet...
You people are evil........pure evil...... .........................AND I LIKE IT! Oh yea, Talon that was the first good JR.Member post I've seen in a while. And that was only no.4, I see good things ahead for you sir.....but don't take no legal action if it don't happen......damn that happened to my girl cleo once.....man i swear one day this dude...............
true story: solicitor: "I'm calling for the Sheriff's Something or another organization. We're selling a tickets to support a circus perfomance for disabled children." Me: on another line w. a business call. "Sorry, not interested." Solicitor: "I guess you really don't give a damn about disabled children? Me: "I guess not." End of conversation. I don't have caller id so I get these all the time. I say "not interested" or "I'm busy" and click. However, I have worked off and on with the very poor, the disabled and the desperate and most of them have tried telemarketing as the absolute final job for a person no one else will hire. I therefore know that many times the story of the poor sob who is desperate enough to do telemarketing would make you cry. I try not to be too involved or too rude.
