"me chinese, me play joke, me put roofies in your coke" or you could go with the sly, weird al wit. "Baby, I don't have a library card, but do you mind if I check you out?"
this one always works... "is that a keg in your pants baby, or do i just wanna tap that a$$?" ha ha. im not sure where or when it works.. but it works.
Ah, good to see someone else got the albulm. Here's the song he's referring to:Wanna B Ur Lovr by Al Yankovic Lyrics: I don't have a library card But do you mind if I check you out? I like your skeletal structure, baby You're an ectomorph, no doubt Your face is real symmetrical And your nostils are so nice I wish that I was cross-eyed, girl So I could see you twice Girl, you smell like Fritos That's why I'm giving you this hungry stare You're so hot, you're gonna melt The elastic in my underwear I'll bet you're magically delicious Like a bowl of Lucky Charms You'd look like Venus de Milo If I just cut off your arms What I'm tryin' to say is ... I wanna be your lover, baby I need somebody to love You know I just wanna be your lover, baby Now, I need somebody to love Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo Do you believe in love at first sight Or should I walk by again? My love for you'd like diarrhea I just can't hold it in Stop, drop and roll now 'Cause baby, you're on fire I'll bet your outfit Makes a lot of noise in the drier You're absolutely perfect Don't speak now, you might spoil it Your eyes are even bluer Than the water in my toilet Say, has anyone ever told you You've got Yugoslavian hands? No, of course not, that would be stupid Just forget I ever brought it up The point I'm trying to make is ... I wanna be your lover, baby I need somebody to love You know I just wanna be your lover, baby Now, I need somebody to love Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo I wanna be your Krakatoa Let my lava flow all over you I wanna be your anaconda And your heat-seeking missile too I wanna be your beef burrito Am I making this perfectly clear? I wanna be your love torpedo Are you picking up the subtle innuendo here? Uh huh I hope I'm not being forward But do you mind if I chew on your butt? You can tell me truthfully Am I a steamin' hunk of love now, or what? There just aren't enough o's in "smooth" To desribe how smooth I am Maybe you've seen my picture It's in the dictionary under "Kablaam!" My lips are registered weapons Can I invade your personal space? You must have fallen from heaven That would explain how you messed up your face Well, how'd you get through security? 'Cause, baby, you're the bomb I'd like to take you home right now So you can meet my mom Because I ... I wanna be your lover, baby I need somebody to love You know I just wanna be your lover, baby Now, I need somebody to love Girl, you must be Jamaican Because Jamaican me crazy Girl, you must be Jamaican (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo) Because Jamaican me crazy (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo) I wanna be your lover, baby (Girl, you must be Jamaican) (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo) I need somebody to love (Because Jamaican me crazy) (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo) You know I just wanna be your lover, baby (Girl, you must be Jamaican) (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo) Now, I need somebody to love (Because Jamaican me crazy) (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo) I wanna be your lover, baby (Girl, you must be Jamaican) (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo) I need somebody to love (Because Jamaican me crazy) (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo) You know I just wanna be your lover, baby (Girl, you must be Jamaican) (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo) Now, I need somebody to love (Because Jamaican me crazy) (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo) I wanna be your lover, baby (Girl, you must be Jamaican) (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo) I need somebody to love (Because Jamaican me crazy) (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo) You know I just wanna be your lover, baby (Girl, you must be Jamaican) (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo) Now, I need somebody to love (Because Jamaican me crazy) (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo) I wanna be your lover, baby (Girl, you must be Jamaican) (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo) I need somebody to love (Because Jamaican me crazy) (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo) You know I just wanna be your lover, baby (Girl, you must be Jamaican) (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo) Now, I need somebody to love (Because Jamaican me crazy) (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo)
My single friend and I work this together... My Single friend: Hey do you date married guys? If the answer is no... My single friend: Good thing I'm not married. If the answer is yes... My Single Friend: Then let me introduce you to my good friend, VooDooPope. *Note* I'd never actually cheat on my wife.
