"How 'bout a nice, greeeeezy pork sandwich, served in a dirty ashtray?" "For Chrissakes, would you cover yourself!" "...kicked him in the nuts and called him 'f*****' in front of everyone." "What are two unpopular dicks like you doing at a party?" "Your VCR should cover it...FOR OPENERS!" "She likes the rough stuff...what can you do, you know?" "You two...can't even take a shower, with a beautiful woman...without wearing YOUR JEANS!" "There's going to be chips, dips, chains, whips...your basic high school orgy type of thing." "Do you have anything in leather, or rubber, or barbed wire?" "I never toss off!" "Crazy?" "Insane?" "See you guys in the emergency room, eh?" "She's into malaccas, Dino." "She kicked him in the nuts."
You murdered this one. Wolverine: You actually go outside in these things? Cyclops: What would you prefer, yellow spandex? Kurtz: " We train young men to drop fire on people. But their commanders won't allow them to write f**k on their airplanes because it's obscene! " Kurtz: " The horror. The horror. " Maverick: I feel the need... Maverick, Goose: ...the need for speed! After Dutch has nailed a guy to the wall with his knife] Dutch: Stick around. Roger De Bris: Ah, Bialystock and Bloom, I presume! Heh heh, forgive the pun! Leo Bloom: [to Max] What pun? Max Bialystock: Shut up, he thinks he's witty.
"kick him in the nards" "wolfman doesnt have nards!" "do it do it!" "aarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggh" "wolfman has nards."
MORE SPACEBALLS - "What? You went over my helmet?" "Ooh, I bet she gives great helmet." "Spaceballs the flamethrower. The kids love this one." "I see that your schwartz is as big as mine. Now lets see how well you handle it." "It's MegaMaid, she's gone from suck to blow." "Funny, she doesn't look Druish." "On this ship you're to refer to me as 'idiot,' not 'you captain'!" "I'll have the cleavage .. eh the special." BLUES BROTHERS - "Are you the police?" "No ma'am, we're musicians." "It's 106 miles to Chicago. We've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses."
"I don't hate people. I just feel better when they're not around."-- Barfly "You're gonna blow?!!!!....Well I'm a mushroom cloud layin' motherf*ck*r, motherf*ck*r!"-- Pulp Fiction "...What do you care? All you do is f*ck my mother and eat her food!....Motherf*cker!!!.....FOOD....EATER!!!!...." -- Keanu Reeves in River's Edge
Excellent thread. The fletch quotes had me crying R2K... Anyone know these two quotes? - One smack in the chones and he's down - I kinda feel like gregory peck in the Guns of Naverone T2 Come with me if you want to live. Red Dawn - All that hates gonna burn you up inside, boy. - It keeps me warm at night - WOLVERINES!!! - The chair is against the wall, the chair is against the wall. John has a long moustache. John has a long moustache. Tommy Boy Tommy: Let's think about this for a sec, Ted, why do they put a guarantee on a box? Hmm, very interesting. Ted: I'm listening. Tommy: Here's how I see it. A guy puts a guarantee on the box 'cause he wants you to fell all warm and toasty inside. Ted: Yeah, makes a man feel good. Tommy: 'Course it does. Ya think if you leave that box under your pillow at night, the Guarantee Fairy might come by and leave a quarter. Ted: What's your point? Tommy: The point is, how do you know the Guarantee Fairy isn't a crazy glue sniffer? "Building model airplanes" says the little fairy, but we're not buying it. Next thing you know, there's money missing off the dresser and your daughter's knocked up, I seen it a hundred times. Ted: But why do they put a guarantee on the box then? Tommy: Because they know all they solda ya was a guaranteed piece of ****. That's all it is. Hey, if you want me to take a dump in a box and mark it guaranteed, I will. I got spare time. But for right now, for your sake, for your daughter's sake, ya might wanna think about buying a quality item from me. Ted: Hmm. Okay, I'll buy from you. Tommy: Well I...What?! Tommy: I called. Richard Hayden: Oh, yeah? What number did you dial? Tommy: three , seven , six, niner, five, two..... Richard Hayden: You're kinda trailin' off there. And did I catch a "niner" in there? What were you calling from, a walkie talkie? Tommy: It was a cordless. Richard Hayden: You know what? Not here, not now. Richard Hayden: No way that just happened. Tommy: I've seen some crazy stuff in my time, but that... was... AWESOME!!! Oh, sorry about your car, man. Tommy: They have a thin candy shell. I'm surprised you didn't know that. Richard Hayden: I think your brain has a thick candy shell. Tommy: You can take a good look at a T-bone by sticking your head up a bull's ass, but wouldn't you rather take the butcher's word for it? [Richard knocks on the door impersonating the maid while Tommy tries to sleep] Richard Hayden: Housekeeping, you want me for pillow? Tommy: Please go away let me sleep FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!!!!! Richard Hayden: Housekeeping, you want me jerk you off? Tommy: What kind of hotel is this? [Opens door] Tommy: Who the hell are...Oh it's you. Richard Hayden: Good morning, Sunshine. Ray Zalinsky: Ted, send over a bucket of ice with a bottle of champagne. Have the card read, "Tough luck, use the bucket to ice down your marbles, get drunk on me, signed Z." Richard Hayden: Okay, it's sale time, so remember, we don't take no...? Tommy: No **** from anyone! Richard Hayden: No. Tommy: Um, we don't take no prisoners! Richard Hayden: We don't take no for answer. Tommy: Right! Richard Hayden: Mommy, mommy, the Rhino's getting to close to the car! Tommy: Him to afraid to get out, he's just a little guy. Richard Hayden: All right, that's it, you're goin' down now fat boy. Tommy: Hey, boys and girls, it's poppa smurf Tommy: Hey, What's your name? Waitress: Helen. Tommy: That's nice, you look like a Helen. Helen, were both in sales. Let me tell you why I suck as a sales man. Let's say I go into some guys office and let's say hes even remotely interested in buying something. Well then I get all excited I'm like Jojo the idiot circus boy with a pretty new pet. The pet is my possible sale. Oh , my pretty little pet, I love you. So I stoke it, and I pet it, and I massage it, hehe I love it, I love my little naughty pet, your naughty! Then I take my naughty pet and I go ( makes ripping noises as he tears apart the roll) Uuuuuuh! I killed it! I killed my sale! That's when I blow it. That's when people like us gotta forge ahead Helen, am I right? Helen: God your sick." Tommy: Forget it, I quit, I can't do this anymore, man! My head's about to explode! My whole life sucks!! I don't know where I'm going, what I'm doing. My dad just died, we just killed Bambi, I'm out here getting my ass kicked and every time I drive down the road I wanna jerk the wheel INTO A GODDAM BRIDGE INPUTMENT!!! Tommy: Brothers don't shake hands. Brothers gotta hug! Richard Hayden: What is the carrying charge for our warehouse? Tommy: Geez, I knew this one. Uhhhhhhh. Richard Hayden: One and a... Tommy: ...half percent. I knew that! Why can't I remember it? Richard Hayden: Try an association such as; Let's say the average person uses ten percent of his brain. How much do you use? One and a half percent. The rest is filled with malted hops and bong resin. [Tommy Boy just gets his new office and starts talking into a fan] Tommy: Luke, I am your fa-ther! I love Tommy Boy Back to the Future - nobody mentioned??? Marty McFly: Wait a minute, Doc, are you trying to tell me that my mother has got the hots for me? Dr. Emmett Brown: Precisely. Marty McFly: Whoa, this is heavy. Dr. Emmett Brown: There's that word again; "heavy". Why are things so heavy in the future? Is there a problem with the earth's gravitational pull? Dr. Emmett Brown: [Running out of the room] 1.21 gigawatts?! 1.21 gigawatts?! Marty McFly: [Following] What the hell is a gigawatt?! George McFly: Lorraine, my density has bought me to you. Lorraine Baines: What? George McFly: Oh, what I meant to say was... Lorraine Baines: Wait a minute, don't I know you from somewhere? George McFly: Yes! Yes! I'm George, George McFly! I'm your density. I mean... your destiny. Mr. Strickland: You don't have a chance, you're too much like your old man. No McFly ever amounted to anything in the history of Hill Valley! Marty McFly: Yeah, well, history is gonna change. Lou: You gonna order something, kid? Marty McFly: Ah, yeah... Give me a Tab. Lou: Tab? I can't give you a tab unless you order something! Marty McFly: Alright, give me a Pepsi Free. Lou: You want a Pepsi, PAL, you're gonna pay for it! Dr. Emmett Brown: Then tell me, "future boy", who is president in the United States in 1985? Marty McFly: Ronald Reagan. Dr. Emmett Brown: Ronald Reagan? The actor?! Who's Vice President? Jerry Lewis? Marty McFly: What? Dr. Emmett Brown: I suppose Jane Wyman is the first lady! And Jack Benny is secretary of the treasury! I've had enough practical jokes for one evening! Good day, future boy! Dr. Emmett Brown: Roads? Where we're going we don't need roads. Dr. Emmett Brown: I'm sure in 1985, plutonium is available at every corner drugstore, but in 1955 it's a little hard to come by! Marty McFly: Do you know where Riverside Drive is? Sam Baines: It's on the other end of town, a block past Maple. East end of town. Marty McFly: A block past Maple? That's John F. Kennedy Drive. Sam Baines: Who the hell is John F. Kennedy? Marty McFly: Jesus Christ, Doc, you just disintegrated Einstein! Dr. Emmett Brown: Relax, Marty, I didn't disintegrate anything! The molecular structure of both Einstein and the car remain completely intact! Marty McFly: Then where the hell are they?! Dr. Emmett Brown: The appropriate question is WHEN the hell are they! Dr. Emmett Brown: The only thing powerful enough to generate 1.21 gigowatts of electricity is a bolt of lightning! Marty McFly: [startled] What? Dr. Emmett Brown: A bolt of lighting! Unfortunately, you never know when or where it's ever gonna strike! Marty McFly: We do now. Marty McFly: Why do you keep calling me Calvin? Lorraine Baines: Calvin Klein? It's all over your underwear. Saving Private Ryan Captain John Miller: I don't gripe to you. I don't gripe in front of you. You should know that. Private Reiben: Sorry, sir, but let's say you weren't a Captain, or maybe I was a Major. What would you say then? Captain John Miller: In that case, I'd say this is an excellent mission, sir, with an extremely valuable objective, sir. Worthy of my best efforts, sir. Moreover, I feel heartfelt sorrow for the mother of Private James Ryan and am willing to lay down the lives of me and my men---especially you, Reiben---to ease her suffering. Gen. George C. Marshall: I have here a very old letter, written to a Mrs. Bixby in Boston. "Dear Madam: I have been shown in the files of the War Department a statement of the Adjutant-General of Massachusetts that you are the mother of five sons who have died gloriously on the field of battle. I feel how weak and fruitless must be any words of mine which should attempt to beguile you from the grief of a loss so overwhelming. But I cannot refrain from tendering to you the consolation that may be found in the thanks of the Republic they died to save. I pray that our heavenly Father may assuage the anguish of your bereavement, and leave you only the cherished memory of the loved and lost, and the solemn pride that must be yours to have laid so costly a sacrifice upon the altar of freedom. Yours very sincerely and respectfully, Abraham Lincoln." Private Jackson: Well, sir, seems to me, God gave me a special gift, fashioned in me a fine instrument of warfare. Captain John Miller: James... I'm here to tell you your brothers were killed in combat. They're dead. Private Ryan: Which one, sir? Captain John Miller: All of them. Private Jackson: What I mean, sir, is if you was to put me with this here sniper rifle anywhere up to and including one mile from Adolf Hitler... with a clean line of sight... well, pack your bags, boys. War's over. Captain Hamill: You got to take Caen so you can take Saint Lo. Captain John Miller: You've got to take Saint Lo to take Valognes. Captain Hamill: Valognes you got Cherbourg. Captain John Miller: Cherbourg you got Paris. Captain Hamill: Paris you got Berlin. Captain John Miller: And then that big boat home. Captain John Miller: [weakly mutters something] Private Ryan: [leans in closer] What, sir? Captain John Miller: James, earn this......earn it. Private Ryan: Hell, these guys deserve to go home as much as I do. They've fought just as hard. Captain John Miller: Is that what I'm supposed to tell your mother when she gets another folded American flag? Private Ryan: You can tell her that when you found me, I was with the only brothers I had left. And that there was no way I was deserting them. I think she'd understand that. Captain John Miller: Mike, Are you alright? Sergeant Horvath: I just got the wind knocked out of me. I'm fine! Lieutenant Dewindt: FUBAR. Private Reiben: FUBAR. Sergeant Horvath: FUBAR. Captain John Miller: FUBAR Private Jackson: Y'all got that right. Corporal Upham: I looked up fubar in the German dictionary and there's no fubar in here. Private Ryan: Uh sir? Where am I to be during all this? Captain John Miller: No more than two feet away from me. And that's not negotiable. Excellent thread. I left out so many movies.... Someone do Forrest Gump and Next Friday.
Love the Tombstone Val Kilmer quotes also: "My eyes are open" from Fight Club and just about everything Mel Gibson said in Braveheart great quote movie.
"You took it.......AND BROKE A MAJOR RULE OF ENGAGEMENT!!!!!!" - Viper (?) in Top Gun, a bit melodramatic there
