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What's the definition of compromise in a relationship?

Discussion in 'BBS Hangout' started by Lady_Di, Oct 1, 2008.

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  1. Fatty FatBastard

    Fatty FatBastard Member

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    No, but then again, I don't think either of you are. Let him try to do it himself. Typically guys aren't Tim Taylor from Home Improvement, and will figure out fairly quickly if they're in over their head or not.
     
    #61 Fatty FatBastard, Oct 1, 2008
  2. xcharged

    xcharged Member

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    hmmm rethinking this one...

    have you tried calling on the home owners warranty you usually get when you buy a house.

    win, win, win.

    he saves face, you get the ducts fixed, and I feel like a winner because i had good advice.
     
    #62 xcharged, Oct 1, 2008
  3. xcharged

    xcharged Member

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    please let me feel like a winner.
     
    #63 xcharged, Oct 1, 2008
  4. MoBalls

    MoBalls Member

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    Let him screwed it up........that way he learns.
     
    #64 MoBalls, Oct 1, 2008
  5. moestavern19

    moestavern19 Member

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    Lady_Di, the best advice I can give is...




    ...file a restraining order against Swoly.
     
    #65 moestavern19, Oct 1, 2008
  6. Lady_Di

    Lady_Di Member

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    i'm not sure if we have it..i will check our closing documents when i get home.

    you got me thinking now...i found this link

    http://www.realestateabc.com/insights/warranty.htm

    do we have a legit reason to sue the sellers because they didn't disclose the air ducts?
     
    #66 Lady_Di, Oct 1, 2008
  7. SwoLy-D

    SwoLy-D Member

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    LOL! She can't file another when she already has one, moes. Joke's on you, sir. :p

    ANyway, i was at their hizzie... and here's how it went down:
    "I can fix it!"
    "No you can't."
    "Ok. Let's call the warranty."
    "No you can't."
    "I said, let's call the warranty peeps."
    "No, you can't fix it. You're incompetent."
    "Ok. Let's call the warranty people."
    "I told you already. You can't fix it."

    :confused:

    But, again... you should get your money back from the incompetent inspector who didn't check the ducts. :cool:
     
    #67 SwoLy-D, Oct 1, 2008
  8. Franchise3

    Franchise3 Member

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    He probably wants to do it for money, but also because he WANTS to. He probably enjoys the process. If a handyman doesn't have anything handy to do, he withers and dies inside a little every day.
     
    #68 Franchise3, Oct 1, 2008
  9. flipmode

    flipmode Member

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    quoted for truth. it's an ego and a trust thing. he needs to do something tangible to show you he's your man.

    i do this all the time with household things and computers at gf's parents, demonstrating that i am a useful guy... some guys like to be called "handsome" or "cool," but ALL guys want to be "useful."
     
    #69 flipmode, Oct 1, 2008
  10. Lady_Di

    Lady_Di Member

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    Ok, I see the whole point of this. He feels I don't trust him.

    I get it, I was wrong for telling him that I didn't think he could do it.

    I never told him he couldn't do anything else to the house, just the air ducts but okay, if he falls and breaks a leg, i'll say, "see, mama was right".
     
    #70 Lady_Di, Oct 1, 2008
  11. Lil Pun

    Lil Pun Member

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    Who says most men cheat? I think the thing is, most men get caught.
     
    #71 Lil Pun, Oct 1, 2008
  12. droxford

    droxford Member

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    Yeah, let him do it. This means more to him than money. It's about him feeling confident and competent in his own abilities. And if you agree to let him try, it makes a statement to him that you support him, even if he messes up (and that's a good thing for a spouse to feel). You might even want to verbalize that to him.

    And if he messes up, don't hold it against him. Everybody messes up, and usually the best way to learn this stuff is to just get in there and do it. Remember that he's trying to save you money, and that it's important to him emotionally for him to feel like he's capable of doing such things.
     
    #72 droxford, Oct 1, 2008
  13. fadeaway

    fadeaway Member

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    Jesus... just let him fix the damn ducts. Nothing worse than a nagging negative nellie who has no faith in her partner.
     
    #73 fadeaway, Oct 1, 2008
  14. conquistador#11

    conquistador#11 Member

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    you wanna know what compromise is.....

    It's being in a stupid relationship, where the woman you are seeing is married; yet she expects you to obey her and only her. Then when she has been caught by her husband, she is forced to choose. Only she doesn't choose you, because she feels you cannot commit to her. In all, she is forgiven by her husband, but makes a compromise to never talk to you again. =(
     
    #74 conquistador#11, Oct 1, 2008
  15. GotGame15

    GotGame15 Member

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    I think a better question for this thread would be:

    When is it called compromise and when is it taking it too far?
     
    #75 GotGame15, Oct 1, 2008
  16. SwoLy-D

    SwoLy-D Member

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    :rolleyes: :(

    Because I think you two can be considered married now, I'm saying this from an 11-year marriage experience: Get off your pessimistic boat, please.

    What, are you just WAITING for him to fail so you can be THE MAN at the end and say "I told you so!" ? That's not helping in either the house-fixin' business or the relationship. Let go of your "I think you're wrong" ideas and say "I think we can try this."

    Can you have negative girlfriends? No, only negative boyfriends. Forgive us, for we know not what we do. You only see the turn, you don't see the road ahead. If you don't have the ganas, I will give it to you because I'm an expert. THINK: COOL... THINK: COOL... a positive times a positive equals a positive... say it... a positive times a positive equals a positive... say it... ;)

    *BonusPointsIfYouCanTellMeWhoSaidAllThisBeforeMe, myElizabethTaylor...*
     
    #76 SwoLy-D, Oct 1, 2008
    Last edited: Oct 1, 2008
  17. red

    red Member

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    ding ding ding!
     
    #77 red, Oct 1, 2008
  18. Franchise3

    Franchise3 Member

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    I was going to reply with something similar to the "See Mama was right" comment, but Swoly has said it just as good as I could. Let go of your ego and need to be right and support your partner.
     
    #78 Franchise3, Oct 1, 2008
  19. MoBalls

    MoBalls Member

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    SwolyD.....You crack me up brother.... :D

    Mary Conn
     
    #79 MoBalls, Oct 1, 2008
  20. Lady_Di

    Lady_Di Member

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    I apologized to my guy last night for the comments I made and told him I would support him whatever he wanted to do to the house as long he keeps me in the loop and ask me for my opinions.

    I really never knew that he was this way, I mean I knew he fixed things and etc...well that's what living together is for - to learn things about each other.

    now I don't have his man balls in my purse today...he apologized for saying this!

    So we're good....

    Thanks to you guys that gave good advice....appreciate it! :)
     
    #80 Lady_Di, Oct 2, 2008
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