Yeah I dont think it's that as much as it is women will talk your ear off about nothing that would truly solve the matter at hand. Where as guys will, 4 times out of 5, try to actually probe the issue and find a solution. And even THEN the women try to throw you a Kansas City Shuffle. Point is: DICTION is not their language. The only language they speak is emotion dictated by by feelings rather logic.
My wife actually hates it when I say nothing. She is always trying to get me to talk more about what happened at work (I worked and surfed Clutchfans, duh). Then she asks me "aren't you going to ask about my day?" No, I figured if you have something to say, you'll just tell me anyway.
It's not like we don't want a solution to the problem. We do. But first, we want to know you care. And that you care how we feel. If I turn the emotions off before I'm ready to - crying or whatever - that doesn't solve it, but just pushes them back to be dealt with later. That's fine, say, when you have to go to work or something. But when the person who's supposed to be close to you is there to talk to, you don't want to have to hide and not be yourself. If we get to cry and talk about it, though, we _can_ get over it and come out the other side and feel better while we work on the solution. The way a lot of y'all react makes us believe that you don't care how we feel. Or that you only care in terms of how it affects you. When a woman is upset, listen, be a friend, ask some questions about it so she knows you are paying attention, find something to agree with her about (having to do with how she feels). If you're into deep relationships and connections at all, this may help you form one. If you're just in it to get access to the female body parts, this will actually help you with that too.
Hey, it's just the unfortunate nature of the beast. I'm not necessarily slighting yall for it, it's generalized female human nature. I know yall aren't purposefully perpetuating the solution and that's what makes it so frustrating for men. And I was speaking more or so in a situation where females are angry or annoyed with their men. So tears aside, when a woman is upset what made them upset a lot of times is something that shouldn't even be a factor. And by that, I mean it turns out being a factor that wouldn't, shouldn't and at times doesn't even exist. It's problems stemming from her FEELINGS rather than her THOUGHTS. And guys are the complete opposite. And because we think, feel then act while you feel, act, then think is another reason guys have little to no patience. There ARE sh1tty guys who don't hold anything females do or say with any weight. But when a guy reacts like you've described, it's not that (most) don't care - it's just naturally a draining process man puts up with since we've all started puberty/talking to girls. "When a woman is upset, listen, be a friend, ask some questions about it so she knows you are paying attention, find something to agree with her about (having to do with how she feels)" That may very well work for you; but unfortunately with most girls, guys always hit dead ends when we get to the ask questions part. That's where the frustration sets in and the string of patience becomes loose ends.
"No, it's ok... I'm fine, you don't have to apologize" Spoiler You Gon' DIE! "LoL no, Jontro, I'm not going to kill you" Spoiler You Gon' DIE! "No, I wasn't waiting long... I just got here, too" Spoiler You Still Gon' DIE!
I know what works/ would work for me. I am not saying that it's what I get. My husband (please please don't ever find my clutchfans bbs, lol) is a good guy but has never been the best listener. My better listener/friend experiences have been with guys I wasn't romantically involved with. Sometimes I think that, when a man develops feelings for a woman, he automatically has less patience with her than he would with anyone else. It seems to make it easier to get angry or frustrated. You know how emotional guys get. (and yes, exactly, y'all are just as emotional as we are - in a different way) To his credit, I came home frustrated about something last night and wanting to have a good cry; he reacted a lot better than I expected and tried to have a good non-frustrated discussion about it. While I didn't feel completely emotionally "validated" or anything, at least we had a good talk and kept it agreeable and thought of some things I could do about the situation. That's probably the most you can expect, as a woman. It's too bad we and y'all are so different. There doesn't really seem to be a good way to bridge the gap. I keep hoping somehow if we all keep talking that we'll all understand each other in a way that has never been done before and I like hanging out with guys - more than girls - but I understand guys are very different in a lot of ways. (And yes, we do really care what you are thinking about and want to hear - provided you are thinking at all - and of course if you're thinking about the curves on some random chick across the room (or someone you know, or whoever), it is better to keep that one to yourself. Find one of your thoughts about something else - you do have them, don't you? - to share. )
Two lesbian frogs are sitting on a lilly pad and one of them turns to the other and says, "you know, we really do taste like chicken."
Always look at her even when you need to concentrate for a few secs to remember shiet from ages ago.... Otherwise you'll hear something like " Why are you looking elsewhere, Look at me!!" translation: You lying POS!!!!
Meanwhile, we're just hoping you guys will just drop the subject and move on to better topics of conversation. Like food or sports.
sorry to bump, but I encountered these recently.... "You don't listen to me." Translation: "You don't blindly and thoughtlessly obey my commands." also... "No, I'm not angry. I'm just concerned." Translation: "I'm angry."
You poke fun at her. She replies with a shoulder tap "Oh shut up" Translation: "I want your D" You piss her off and says to her friends that you're a pain and get on her nerves Translation: "I am uncontrollably attracted to him". You ask her to share her Doritos and says no. Translation: She's interested in you.
When my wife and I talk about a problem of her, I always ask if she want a solution or if she just wants to get it of her chest. And i react accordingly. It works perfectly.
