In the summer of 1995, I worked as an intern with at my father's company. I was an internal help desk computer guy. Our company was a COMPAQ shop, which occasionally required us to call COMPAQ's technical support to have a component replaced under warranty. Well, to put it politely, some of the COMPAQ technicians were... not exactly experts at troubleshooting computers. We called in one morning to report a hard drive that needed replaced-- it was toast. The COMPAQ tech was earnestly trying to determine why our system wasn't working properly. That was very nice of him, but we already knew what the problem was. Finally, one of the senior guys (Hector... damn I wish I could remember his last name) leaned in real close to the speaker phone and said in the most sarcastically serious voice I've ever heard, "Would it help if I told you I was a COMPAQ-certified technician...?" Something about the way he said it-- as though he were playing the ultimate trump card, or saying something so impressive the guy would weep-- just struck me as ****ing hilarious. He was totally kidding, of course. Pardon my French. I imagine you had to be there to get it, but that is still my favorite computer memory.
Floppy disk in the CD-ROM drive remains the best one I've ever been called upon to fix. Also, any support call that begins with "My internet is broken" is always a good one...
One Lady couldn't read her disk and begged me to get her data back. Apparently she stuck the disk into the drive with a posty note wrapped around it saying "important data". I told her it happens all the time, don't worry about it.... ------------------ humble, but hungry.
You didn't give me crap, you gave me an incorrect piece of crap. I just corrected your incorrect piece of crap. You can have your crap back now, I'm done with it. It's still crap. Tee hee. ------------------ Just shut up and post
Funny Help desk story going round in Aus at the moment, this woman rings up saying her screen has gone blank, the help desk guy (we will call him Bob) asks if she can see a cursor, she says No, then Bob ask her to try Alt-Ctrl-Del, still nothing, then Bob gets her to check the cords at the back, first the cord between the monitor and Computer, she says no probs, then Bob asks her to check the cord between the monitor and the wall (power point), she says she can't do that, Bob asks why, she says cause she can't see the power point, Bob says what??? She says cause it's too dark. Bob then calmly says, ok I think I know how to solve this problem, have you still got the boxes the computer came in?, she says Yes, then Bob says to pack up the computer and put it all back in the box. She says ok, but why?? Bob responds with You don't Deserve a Computer Aparently Bob's employer did not appreciate his quick wit and he was fired from his job. ------------------ CUT Tino Isn't it amazing how quickly everyone did a Cat Backflip!!!!!
My laptop continues to impress me. Whenever the standby modus gets under way, the computer crashes down. This means that I can NEITHER REBOOT THE MACHINE NOR SWITCH IT ON OR OFF. Now that sucks. I always have to wait until the battery gets empty. Never experienced anything like that. ------------------ What do you expect from someone who beats up his fiancee?
"Two-faced, just like Pippen, I see." That right there is crap, so how is the crap I'm giving you incorrect?I chose to direct my response at you and not mango. What makes crap "correct", genius? "You didn't give me crap, you gave me an incorrect piece of crap." Thanks for the laugh. ------------------ It's an absolute warzone in my house; I live with Rocket fans, Knick fans, and Laker fans.
Wanna laugh some more? Here ya go. You're wrong. And full of incorrect crap. Thou doth spew it violently from vocal orifice. Crap, crap, crap, and more crap. ------------------ Just shut up and post
"My Computer Story" I purchased a very low profile laptop computer for myself and a CD player as a gift on the same day. The CD player was a present for someone who knows absolutely nothing about computers.I stuck both items under my bed and went to work. She knew I was going to buy her a CD player and apparently searched all over the house for it. I arrived home early one day and saw my "friend" dancing scantily clad in the livingroom, with the laptop held firmly up to her ear (a la ghetto blaster) and music very faintly sounding in the background. She had managed to find the items, figure out how to turn on the PC and even how to boot up a music CD. But she could not tell the difference between a CD and a computer, or figure out how to turn up the volume, and did not realize that she was actually "boogie-ing" to a $2000.00 "CD" computer. She once used white-out to correct a typing problem. On a computer monitor at work!!! .... but that's another story. ------------------ [This message has been edited by oeilpere (edited June 14, 2000).]
Please, you do NOT want to know the stupid things I hear all day at my job as a tech help guy... These computer problems are mundane compared to the level of stupidity I have to put up with. Like Einstein said "There are only two things that are infinite; the Universe and Human Stupidity; and I'm not convinced about the Universe." BTW: The truth is back! ------------------ The truth is out there.
Mulder, Welcome back. How are things at Apple? Mango ------------------ Live long and prosper. Donate blood! Now...back to updating The Serious Police Files.
Jovi, maybe you'd have more luck if you bought your laptop from here: Not that I'm biased or anything... ------------------ You bring the bullets, I'll bring the wine.
"Crap, crap, crap, and more crap." The manner in which you express yourself is starting to resemble that of Karl Malone. And that's quite sad. "You're wrong." How am I wrong? You didn't bother to expain because you're incapable of backing up the **** you say. You have yet to disprove my assumption that you are an incompetent fool because you continue to make statements like that and not reinforce them. "And full of incorrect crap." Again, what the hell makes crap "correct"? Isn't crap- just that, crap? How is crap "incorrect"? Keep trying. You're quite entertaining. ------------------ It's an absolute warzone in my house; I live with Rocket fans, Knick fans, and Laker fans.
