What rhymes with Jurus Prudence?

This is awesome. A judge found in favor of Eminem and wrote her decision as a rap.

Rap ruling in Eminem's favor
Excerpts from Macomb County Circuit Judge Deborah Servitto's rap in Deangelo Bailey v. Marshall Mathers III (Eminem's birth name):

Mr. Bailey complains that his rep is trash

So he's seeking compensation in the form of cash.

Bailey thinks he's entitled to some monetary gain

Because Eminem used his name in vain.

Eminem says Bailey used to throw him around

Beat him up in the john, shoved his face in the ground.

Eminem contends that his rap is protected

By the rights guaranteed by the First Amendment.

Eminem maintains that the story is true

And that Bailey beat him black and blue.

In the alternative he states that the story is phony

And a reasonable person would think it's baloney.

The court must always balance the rights

Of a defendant and one placed in a false light.

If the plaintiff presents no question of fact

To dismiss is the only acceptable act.

If the language used is anything but pleasin'

It must be highly objectionable to a person of reason.

Even if objectionable and causing offense

Self-help is the first line of defense.

Yet when Bailey actually spoke to the press

what do you think he didn't address?

Those false-light charges that so disturbed

Prompted from Bailey not a single word.

So highly objectionable, it could not be

-- Bailey was happy to hear his name on a CD.

Bailey also admitted he was a bully in youth

Which makes what Marshall said substantial truth.

This doctrine is a defense well known

And renders Bailey's case substantially blown.

The lyrics are stories no one would take as fact

They're an exaggeration of a childish act.

Any reasonable person could clearly see

That the lyrics could only be hyperbole.

It is therefore this court's ultimate position

That Eminem is entitled to summary disposition.