* People who think they are smart because they repeat things they have heard without ever bothering to even use the gray matter between their own ears * If you are driving along and approach a red-light intersection, and no one is in front of you or in the left lane, and you are going STRAIGHT, and you sit in the right-hand lane, when you could easily move into the left lane, and thus prevent 10 people behind you from being able to turn right, YOU ARE AN INBRED MORON * Painfully unfunny people who think they are funny. * The fact that Calvin Murphy still has not been brought back to the Rockets broadcasts * Undeserved fawning reverence. To explain: The sycophantic bootlicking fawning over the memory of people like George Carlin and Bill Hicks. While both men were 'outspoken' in their portrayals of cookie-cutter populist rhetoric, neither one was more than average 'funny', and as allegedly stand-up comedians, my own opinion is that comedians should be judged by how much laughter they bring into the world, versus how much vitriol and venom they can spew. I know there are likely a TON of people who will cry heresy at such an opinion, but see peeve #1 above. * Tattoos. Seriously, hasn't this stupid fad of people trying to cover every dang inch of their bodies with ugly graffiti gone on long enough? Especially on women. Come on girls, use your brains - all that wonderful gothic 'body art' you covered yourself with when you were 20 is going to look pretty dang stupid when you are 40+ and sagging and having to explain them to your grandchildren.
Player only fans Bandwagon fans People who bring 300 items to the express lane checkout People who answer questions on forum by posting that douchebaggy "Let Me Google That For You" link People who are hypocritical People who run away from problems instead of attempting to deal with them More later.....
Slow drivers in the left hand lane on the highways. If you're going 60, you don't need to be in that lane. If someone is coming fast behind you, move out of their way. Normally it's minorities and women... mostly women.
I'm crying heresy here... and not because I'm repeating something that I heard from someone else. George Carlin and Bill Hicks have made me laugh as much or more than any of the comedians that I've ever listened to, and I consider myself a connoisseur of stand up. That being said... to each his own. As the great Dave Chappelle said: "Some people say that cucumbers taste better pickled." You know what really grinds my gears? -People who give a sh** about other people having tattoos. If you want to get a tattoo, get one. If you're not putting the needle onto my skin, why the f*** would I care what you do to your skin? You're the one who has to look at yourself in the mirror. (Sorry Nero... I'm not trying to pick on you). This also applies to people who complain about people getting the big holes put in their ear lobe and facial piercings. Why let something that really doesn't effect you get under your skin so deeply? Let it go, live and let live. -People who overshare about their personal lives at work. Keep it to yourselves. 9 out of 10 of us are not your friends, we simply happen to earn a living in the same building. I don't want to know what the doctor said about your rash. I don't want to know what your ex-husband is doing to try and get custody of your kids back. I don't want to know that you now have to take in your grandchildren because their mother is going back into rehab. -Religious folks that come to my door on Saturday at 10:30 in the morning so they can read me some scripture and try to lead me to JC. Sure, I was just watching the food network while eating a salad bowl full of Lucky Charms, but who's to say I wasn't just reading the Qur'an, enjoying the Jewish Sabbath, or sacrificing a live chicken to Jobu? Now I have to put on pants, stand uncomfortably in the doorway and listen to you push your beliefs on me? They're as bad as the damn Kirby Vacuum people. -People who engage you in conversations about sports, but have absolutely no idea what they're talking about. I used to work in a sports bar, so this was a fairly common occurance. The fairer sex is often the offender. The offenders usually use talking points from 3 - 7 years ago. How bad the Texans offensive line is, how good Carlos Lee is, breathless praise of Brett Favre, etc. -Xenophobia of all kinds. We have a lot to learn from all the citizens of the world, just as they do from us. Nothing promotes understanding like the free exchange of ideas. A fear or reluctance to do so with someone because of where they're from or what they look like is just crazy to me. I'll oversimplify here and I'm using this as a metaphor, but how would I know about pho if I feared Asian food that wasn't sweet-n-sour chicken? Sorry... long post is long.
They usually begin with some sort of statement like "Do you believe in Jesus Christ?" Just say no. My uncle did this once, one of the funniest things I have seen. -Dallas Cowboy fans who bring up their past Super Bowl titles like they matter in the present. I rarely, if ever see Steeler or 49er fans do this.
