Ok, but what you're missing is the most important part: your opinion is no longer merely your opinion. Your are deciding for the both of you, and she doesn't agree with you. If you want to smoke, cool. Your choice. But what you need to realize is that your decision is going to effect your relationship, probably in a very negative way. It may just be a sore spot for a few days, weeks, etc., or it could be something that becomes a major issue. You are the one who has to decide if smoking bud is worth having ongoing issues in your marriage.
Regardless of what you think, what any facts may or may not be be, or your opinion, it IS currently illegal. It CAN cause you to lose a job or not get a job. Do you want your "recreational" use of pot to create that kind of headache for your 10 month old child and jeopardize your marriage? What is more important to you - being a good, productive father/husband or smoking pot?
she stopped the first one quite a while ago, but we're doing well financially so no problems there, but we could always be doing better in that department also.
i'm telling you Samurai Jack, i know what he's saying. he's 100% correct, but so am i. why is it illegal? what's the harm in it? no one has ever OD'd on it. no one ever acts crazy on it. i don't get paranoid, simply stating, it keeps me sain. it may make me weak in some respects, but at the same time, i'm sure most of you are drinking after work, and i choose to not drink, or smoke, which i haven't for 6 years. great advice though, and great words of wisdom. sounds kind of like my wife. :grin:
Are you dodging my question, sir? You will stop smoking because you want to make her happy. Trust me. This will be a lingering problem for ages. That's my last word on this subject. If you want the arguments to continue, keep smoking.
this is probably the most objective and the best advice i've gotten, but here's the problem here. bobrek, you drink right? you sometimes drink and drive, am i correct? you act different when you're drunk? 1. it's affecting our relationship, it's something we agree to disagree on, so i won't do it when i'm with her, or i won't do it when i'm going to see her later. 2. no, i've had a stable job for a long time, i do a great job. i'm an asset there and they don't drug test, i know... but it's in tokyo. different culture, different customs 3. true, but i plan to continue my job, but will always look for something more lucrative. in that case, of course, i won't smoke. 4. yes it is, no way getting around it. but why isn't smoking cigarettes illegal? why isn't alcohol illegal? what's so bad about it? it's been proven that alchohol is worse for you, but hey people drink like fish, smoke cigarettes like a chimney, but i can't light one up? as far as getting into trouble with the law, i'm very careful. very very very careful. not that that's gonna prevent anything.
i know i will SwoLy-D. i know. with age, comes maturity and better decision making. but as for now... yeah. thanks for your input though. +1
I may be jumping to conclusions here, but I don't think her objection is that you do it with her, or when you're going to see her. Doing it behind her back is just lying to her about it. You would be compounding drug use (whether or not you consider it such, it IS drug use) with lying to your wife. This is NOT the recipe for a happy marriage. Ok, but what about when you move back to the U.S., as you've stated previously? You've said you plan on starting up again. Do they drug test here? I guess the point it this: drug testing shouldn't have to be the determining factor of whether or not you smoke. You would be, in effect, gambling your marriage and the future welfare of your children on a momentary high. You are making a LOT of assumptions here. You're assuming you never get busted. I know more than a few people who were fired for failed drug tests, and not one of them thought A.) the company would test them, B.) they would fail and C.) it would be so hard to get another job afterwords. THIS is why your wife has a say: you're talking about risking the future of your entire family. You can stop the sentence there. Why it's illegal doesn't matter. It makes no difference. None. Zero. Nada. Zilch. I guarantee you, as you're packing your things into a cardboard box and being escorted from your office by security, they're not going to care why you think bud should be legal. You're rationalizing to justify your desire to smoke, and it makes no difference to your wife and child. They are depending on you to make the right choices for them. Do you honestly think choosing to smoke despite the risks is the right choice for them? This is the core of what I'm getting at: they come first. The needs of your wife and child outweigh any need you have for yourself. THAT is the secret to a happy marriage.
it's not cheating unless you fall inlove..or it's not cheating until your'e caught.... enjoy your buiness trip..
I NEVER drive when I have had more than one beer in less than an hour. I never drink anything other than beer when I am away from home and the only thing I have other than beer when I am at home is the occasional glass of Bailey's. I can't remember the last time I was drunk. I can't remember the last time I would have been drunk by driving standards. You keep going back to the claim that "it is illegal, but it shouldn't be". That's irrelevant. It IS illegal and your wife wants you to stop an ILLEGAL activity. Why is that so hard for you to understand? IF smoking pot is what keeps you "sane" then you have a lot more problems than you are letting on. Since you think it should be legal, how many times have you contacted your local representative in the government expressing your views - or are you one of those guys who simply whines about things rather than trying to take action?
this is an awfully presumptuous statement. of course, you'll probably tell me to ignore you if i disagree with you.
She wants you to stop smoking cigaweed and she is smart. Your words.... So she sounds like she cares about you and you are used to being with those laid back women that didnt give a crap as much for you. Hmmm, I say she wants you to want to be better man because she cares and loves you. Marriage doesnt work if you keep on thinking about the bad things and how to make them better. But if you think about the good things and want to make them better, it gets a little easier. Oprah...where you at freak! Yeah, you can have that.
ok, you don't drink and drive. great, me neither. and as i've stated, i haven't smoked in over 6 years, that's a little after college and before i started working. smoking pot isn't the only thing that keep me sane, but it does help. anyone who smokes will tell you that. you don't so you obviously disagree. we see things differently. have you smoked before? did you enjoy it or hate it? if you haven't smoked, then really it's difficult for you to understand what i'm saying here, that i think it's alright to smoke. but it is illegal, and i understand that, but i completely disagree with that. why can you drink a beer and relax, but i can't smoke and relax? what your putting in your body is more harmful than what i'm putting in mine? as far as whining, no. i don't whine, but i do get angry from time to time about certain things that i have no control over... if i'm whining now then i'll stop posting on this thread. plus, medical mar1juana is becoming more and more accepted, so i think and hope in the future, they will make it legal like amsterdam. people go to coffee shops, light up and have a cup of java. no problems there, but people are going to jail and losing jobs and families over this. what do you want me to do, write to my congressman? what's that gonna do? take action, yeah i take action. i smoke. do i whine? no, i skip that and light up.
I think it's pretty safe to say that if someone has to smoke pot to "stay sane", then they have problems. If someone needs some sort of drug (prescription, pot, alcohol, etc.) to "stay sane", then they have serious issues in their life.
