It absolutely does. You can't be prideful or take things personally in that scenario, otherwise it is failboat ahoy. Takes a ton of a maturity, any bit of personal insecurity, jealousy, etc and you're doomed.
It's got to be a conscious effort on both of your parts every day. Like some has already said in here, keeping a happy marriage is like a JOB you need to work on day in and day out. That may sound like a daunting thing to do for years and years, but the benefits from a successful, happy marriage are great (better health, better sex, etc, etc). As for your concerns about giving up freedom, well you're part of a team now. ANYTHING and EVERYTHING you do effects your team and is why, all actions must have the team first in mind. You can't be TMac and just decide to have season ending surgery on your own without telling anyone. It ruins the chemistry and trust while leaving a negative vibe in the "locker room". Enough of these moments and your "teammate" is going to just give up, will want to become a free agent and look for another team. But, if you think of your "teammate's" feelings, hopes, dreams, insecurities, etc FIRST before your actions (and they do the same), then you're building a ton of chemistry. And that's a ton of wins for both of y'all.
In all seriousness the key to a happy marriage is 1. respect 2. common interests that allow you to not grow too far apart 3. leave each other alone enough to have lives outside each other 4. mutual desire to have a good sex life 5. extra-marital sex and relationships... but always remember it is just sex
Nope. I mean if two people think one of the parts to a happy marriage is to have agreed upon affairs, don't bother getting married.
What if they want to? Who are you to tell them not to? How are you to judge what works best for them? Pretty presumptuous of you.
Yep, I am presumptuous when it comes to me claiming that 2 people who agree to have mutual affairs will ultimately not have a happy marriage. A marriage is a union of two people, not two people plus a number of sexual partners. What will happen to the marriage when the woman is getting laid by some guy on a regular basis, but the husband is out of luck with the ladies (or vice-versa)? Yeah, that has all the ingredients of a happy marriage. Maybe it'll work for an extremely small percentage, but in general, if folks think having mutual affairs will help contribute to a happy marriage, they will be disappointed.
It was suggested that mutual affairs could lead to a happy marriage. I strongly disagree. If you can't handle my disagreement, then ignore it.
Been married 5 years and like everyone else it's up and down. However realize of all of the species that mate for life none live as long as humans or as complicated. Mating for life IMO goes against nature. Despite how many people believe cheating is the worst thing you can do, look how many people do it. The divorce rate is what 50% more or less? What would it be if you could just hit a Staples button and dissolve it without the cost, the pain, and the confrontation? Probably something like 90%. Look at celebrity couples. Divorce like crazy. Why? Becuase they have the money so they don't have to worry about where will I live and crap like that. They basically use the money as a buffer to the confrontation. My advice to you? Look at your partner as you would any other relationship: Do they make your life better? Or do they make your life harder?
Never. But I've been in several great, supportive, healthy open relationships. When I meet someone I want to be with forever/have kids with, I'll get married.
It's normal to argue a little. No one is going to live for 60 years together and not get in disagreements.
if i hadn't known she would make my life better, i wouldn't have even though of marriage. she's responsible, while i'm not. she's intelligent, while i'm above average. i knew she would improve the quality of life, and make me a better man. as the saying goes, there's always a great woman behind a great man... or something to that extent, so i married her. but, maintaining a stable happy relationship is much much more difficult than i'd expected. i've had girlfriends in the past who i never fought with, never had disagreed with, granted we weren't married. i thought it was going to be the same with the wife, but surprise surprise, it's completely the opposite. we disagree on a lot of things, but what we both do agree on is that we want the best life possible, for us and for our daughter. she's only 10 months old. that being the case, i think we're on our way to a better life. as far as smoking recreationally, i still will not change my views on that. why is it illegal? has anyone ever OD'd on it? it's a plant, and that's all it is. it's not addictive, i could smoke a month straight everyday all day and then just stop cold turkey. no problem. done it many of times. i'm for it, 100% no one can convince other. i don't understand why it's illegal. meth, heroin, cocaine, those are really dangerous narcotics. they'll kill you. i won't touch it with a 10 foot pole. i understand that. it's just my opinion, that it's alright to smoke moderately. and that really, it shouldn't be illegal. tabacco, cigarettes are more harmful than it.
I'm guessing both knew what they were getting into to have such an arrangement. Wouldn't work for me.
