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What are your views on relationships, specifically marriage?

Discussion in 'BBS Hangout: Debate & Discussion' started by DudeWah, Apr 4, 2016.

  1. apollo33

    apollo33 Member

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    The age of marriage is definitely getting pushed back, so is age of first child for most first world countries.

    I think marriage is becoming more expensive than before and many people feel like they don't reach a point in their career in their 20's to start a family.

    I don't think marriage is getting antiquated, I think the idea that people should get married at a young age is getting antiquated. But then again this trend have been recent, we will see how the marriage statistics will be like when millennials start to reach age 30-40.
     
  2. JuanValdez

    JuanValdez Contributing Member

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    I don't think I'd say it was plainly his intention to derail. But, yeah I can see how facts are a distraction to the thread. The assumptions of the thread might not bear out, but that doesn't mean we can't talk about it. If someone wants to torpedo the assumptions, they should bring the facts instead of asking for them.

    As for the thread, I'll weigh in tomorrow when I'm pretty sure I'll have more time than I know what to do with.
     
  3. Exiled

    Exiled Member

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    marriage is one of those things that you don’t know how you going to do unless you try it .
    I was a guy who often heard this classic phrase: the 1st guy i meet on the street would be better than you, i could not even think i would keep a golden fish alive over a week. But the thing is when you have your child , you suddenly become really mature and boring that fits perfectly marriage lifestyle which is not certainly an awful thing
     
  4. DudeWah

    DudeWah Member

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    No that was purely his intention. He's just upset that I made him look silly in another thread he had no knowledge of while he was basically just reading Wikipedia.

    This thread is basically 100% hinged on subjective anecdotes. I'm purely asking for opinions. Facts are kind of irrelevant to the nature of the thread. Like you said, I may have made some general assumptions (although I'm fairly certain it's understood that the divorce rate is very high relative to the past) but irrespective of those, the thread still has value.

    I look forward to reading yours and others' thoughts.
     
  5. Invisible Fan

    Invisible Fan Contributing Member

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  6. ima_drummer2k

    ima_drummer2k Contributing Member

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    When I was in college, none of my friends wanted to get married and neither did I.

    Of course, 20 years later, we're all (happily) married with kids.

    I wouldn't dig too deep into what a bunch of 20-somethings have to say about marriage. Especially guys. LOL.
     
  7. DCkid

    DCkid Contributing Member

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    I agree with the notion that people are just waiting longer to get married, which is a good idea in just about every way.

    1. People are more mature
    2. Have had time to build a career, so are more financially stable
    3. Have had more time to think about what they really want in life and in a partner

    From personal experience, almost everyone I know (mostly college-educated professionals) didn't get married until their 30s...and at this point there are very few that are still unmarried. Largely, the only people I know who did get married in their 20s were high school sweetheart couples.

    So yeah, maybe there is a small contingent of millennials that find it antiquated (or at least say its antiquated), but I think that's a pretty small amount.

    It seems like people are just being smarter about it, focusing on their careers in their 20s, and then settling down in their 30s with a partner who has a similar educational and earning background. I think women becoming more educated than men and having good earning potential is the single greatest reason for this shift.
     
  8. Dubious

    Dubious Contributing Member

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    People, people who need people
    Are the luckiest people in the world.
     
  9. Rocket River

    Rocket River Member

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    List the reasons please


    Rocket River
     
  10. DudeWah

    DudeWah Member

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    It's not just college guys. I get that sentiment from talking to most guys in their mid 20's and later as well. A lot of the reasoning for why is based on how ****ed guys get in a divorce.

    I agree with others' takes that the age is mostly just shifting up.
     
  11. Remii

    Remii Member

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    Was it men are women having the conversation...?

    It makes a difference.
     
  12. Cohete Rojo

    Cohete Rojo Contributing Member

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    Those are your words, not mine. Do have any evidence to support these claims? Honestly, do you or do you just pull this **** out of your ass?
     
  13. cml750

    cml750 Member

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    I have been happily married for over 23 years. My wife is my best friend as well as my lover. I could not imagine anything else.
     
  14. Remii

    Remii Member

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    Are you talking about men or women...?

    Older established men have their run of the dating pool ----> HYPERGAMY... And most men who have money, don't care how many college degrees a woman does or doesn't have.

    Older women have to compete with younger women with higher sexual value so their dating pool shrinks. That's why if you hear a woman complaining how she can't find a man, she's usually over 35.

    Also, 70-80% of the women chase 30-40% of the men. That's why a lot of men wait to get married because they are invisible and or may not be able to attract the women they like.
     
  15. DCkid

    DCkid Contributing Member

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    There's been several articles talking about how the notion of women"marrying up" has been on the decline in recent years and is likely to continue. It's even been mentioned as one of the many factors contributing to the decline in upwards mobility that is prevalent across the board.

    One example I saw in the past it was typical that nurses would marry doctors...now it's becoming much more common that doctors would just marry other doctors.

    I think there's some truth to this as women now are receiving higher education at greater rates than men and increasingly are gaining more earning power. With that sort of change, something has to give, right?

    Of course, I'm not talking about the dirty old man in the top 1% that is marrying 20 year old bimbos. Talking more about middle class to upper middle class professionals marrying other middle class to upper middle class professionals of roughly the same age.
     
    #35 DCkid, Apr 5, 2016
    Last edited: Apr 5, 2016
  16. Remii

    Remii Member

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    It's possible doctors may marry later because they're in school for so long and male doctors who marry women in the medical field may do so because those are the women they are around a majority of the time from medical school to the hospital. Females in the medical field are usually the ones who get 1st crack at the male doctors. Most male teachers marry female teachers probably because that's what they're around the most.

    Did that article mention that maybe women "marrying up" is declining because the rate of men who don't want to get married is increasing...

    And "higher education" does not mean more money. Many women get "hahaha I can't believe you went in debt for that degree" degrees. Women get more degrees but yet men still make more money.

    I don't think the people who wait to get married (many of which are not being honest about the reasons) aren't bigger than the crowd that doesn't want to get married at all.
     
  17. texanskan

    texanskan Contributing Member

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    Happy life, no wife
     
  18. Cold Hard

    Cold Hard Member

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    I suspect that 80-90% of never-married people WILL get married one day, including many of those who say they "don't believe in marriage" or some s**t. It is human nature to want intimate relations of some sort and most people eventually want to settle down a bit. People are just waiting longer to get married these days, which is usually a wise decision (late 20s-early 30s these days vs. early-mid 20s several decades ago).

    Agreed. Most people aged 25 and under don't truly know what they want in the long term (even if they think they do). Heck, many of them don't really know who they truly are on a deep level yet. One day, many of these 20-somethings will unexpectedly meet that special someone...and that will unlock strong emotions, feelings and changes in worldview/morals/ideology/behavior that they've never encountered before.
     
  19. dragician

    dragician Member

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    When you fall in love, you'll find an answer to your question.
     
  20. Deckard

    Deckard Blade Runner
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    I don't care what other people do in the realm of marriage. It is a decision made by two people for reasons of their own. In my own case, I have been with my significant other for close to 40 years and certainly don't regret it. We've raised two great kids, one still in college, the other a software developer who made six figures last year at age 24 (yes, we're proud of our kids). Our house is paid for. Financially, we're in very good shape. We're each other's best friend. If someone asked us, we would reply that yes, we're happy. Our lives haven't been "perfect," but whose are?

    Want to get married? Don't want to get married? It's your business and no one else's.
     

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