"just be yourself" is a stupid cliche. Yourself is not happy with you, so you better reform yourself or suffer the consequences. CONSEQUENCES WILL NEVER BE THE SAME.
Agreed. The next step is finding a way to change for the better...but what is better and how to get there is the question.
yea, listen to moes advice and change who you are to make someone else happy. see how far that gets you. this coming from a dude who says his own marriage was a mistake. i've been with my wife for nearly 18 years. and I'm 31. and I've made this s hit work because I don't pretend to be something I'm not. my wife knows me and I know her. maybe I just got lucky, but we both know who each other are, and our relationship is built around that, not some phony s hit each other thinks we are. again be yourself. it'll work itself out.
I think you really need to think about the idea of change (which is not easy). There is nothing wrong with being yourself, provided you are happy with that individual. I don't think what Moes and Landry are saying need to be contradict. You can be both who you are and change as an individual. The better question, in my mind at least, is why do you want to change? If you aren't happy with who you are now, then figure out what it is your are unhappy about and progress to being a "happier" you. In the meantime, you should always be who you are. In essence, don't change for the wrong reasons.
Good for you. I'm glad you're happy. But I think you're severely missing the point if you think I'm telling him to change who he is. All I'm telling him to do is to stop caring so much about what other people think and try to just focus on himself. How is that "change everything you are"? Maybe he has no idea who "himself" is. Self-actualization doesn't happen to some people when they are 15 years old. His problems are mental roadblocks he can easily work on improving, I'm not suggesting he undergo personality surgery.
well, since you edited your post, I might look kinda silly here, but admitting that your marriage was a mistake for the reasons you mentioned, that should be a red flag not to take advice from you. no offense bro. I've read a lot of your posts and somewhat agree with you on some of your statements, but it's pretty obvious that we are dealing with a loaded gun here. I'm sure I sound like a smarmy prick on this issue, so I'll just leave it at this, RKREBORN, don't take relationship advice from a internet basketball forum. If you do, well then the problems you have won't be resolved via said source.
I actually find your honesty refreshing. I respect the truth. Just trying to help a young fellow from making the same stupid mistakes I did, thats all.
Moes has really good advise .If your really interested in this . Go to www. Venusianarts.com . It's a forum for PUA( Pick up artist ..yes from Vh1..lol) . It's not necessarily just to pick up girls. It helps you with your inner game ( mentally) .it helped me . Some guys just don't have that alpha male instinct in them . That's what most of the women look for to feel safe,loved and protected. Sometimes guys don't get a chance to show who they really are "being yourself" because women just shut them down before they even know them. So you have become a more interesting version of yourself .
22, now getting divorced at 23, I don't regret a single thing, I learned so much from my partner and a lot from the whole situation. We were each others' first love and together for over 4 years. Getting married because of my parents' pressure was a really dumb thing. Even if we had waited, though, I still feel like we have a lot of growing up, self actualizing to do. I think we're just relieved now to be out of a toxic situation that was just dragging us both down. Naturally I have cynical views regarding marriage now, but I'm not short-sighted enough to think that I will never get married. I do think there just comes a point when you're ready to leave the dating scene behind and be with someone you work well with. It might be 30, it might be 40 for me, who knows. All I know is I can't exchange hearts or commit to anyone at this point in my life...there is just too much of a chance that someone gets hurt. And there's no ****ing way I want to go through that again. I'm realistic enough to admit that I'm totally immature, impulsive, and just a teensy bit insane. No nice, caring guy deserves to be in a relationship with someone like that. In the immortal words of the Goo Goo Dolls, "I'll be better when I'm older."
I think you are what's commonly referred to as a normal 22 year old. I don't mean that as an insult. You are probably much more mature than I was at 22. But probably a little young to get married. Oh well, you live and learn. Just grow from it and you will end up being happy in the end (shut up, SwoLy...)
