Better yet, be a total prick. Then you have nowhere to go but up. Some would argue that it is up to be a prick. Whatever.
I was 27 when I met my wife, turned 28 and started dating her shortly after that. We got married a few years later when I was 29 and she was 27. Been married 8 years now with no kids and no Rocket championships...
Not married yet, but will probably be engaged by the end of the year, which would put me in the 25-30.
Being alone sux donkey balls, but you have to have a better attitude toward life...you have to be happy with you first, then everything else will fall into place...I wouldn't worry too much about IF and WHEN you'll find your soulmate...I'm still looking for THE ONE and I can tell you, you have to go through a lot of girls to find the one you can't live without... I got married when I was 24, after college and now that I think back, that was way too young...my basis is that we got divorced not even 10 years later...people are still growing and finding themselves in their 20's and we were just different people, evolving to the people we are today...don't get me wrong, she's still a royal b*tch, although it took me a while to figure that out... :grin: Food for thought: Just because you get married, doesn't mean you've found the "right person"...It just means that you're willing to share your life with someone you care about..Hopefully it lasts...
I think with me and finalsbound... it was almost like we were too eerily compatible. Almost like we were the same person at times. We were too young to really understand what a relationship was all about, hell... we'd never dated anybody else when we started dating... she was 19 and I was 21. We had a lot of growing up to do, and it became pretty evident the older we got. It took me a while to really understand what was going on, because you know... I'm a loyal, caring individual so I didn't want to "give up" but sometimes you have to do what is best for you. Had to learn that one the hard way, Champ. Tough pill to swallow but we're better for it now. She's happier, I'm happier. We don't even really hate each other either, and thats cool. Now its game time.
RKREBORN There is alot of advice on dating, game, pick-up etc. After reading your posts and hearing some great advice from guys on here I think this will help you very much. You need to look up a torrent on David Deangelo - Deep Inner Game. It is right up your alley. If you want to find a guide that will help you get out of this mindset, then seriously look into it. You won't regret it. These are a few tidbits that the program will help you overcome. Spoiler I bolded the ones that might be of intersest to you ... have you ever been talking to a woman you felt attracted to, and gotten so nervous and uptight that you fumbled over your words... and she just got bad vibrations from you and walked away...? ... have you ever been in a relationship with a wonderful woman, and became emotionally insecure or dependent on her for YOUR own feeling of well-being... to the point where you literally drove her away? ... have you ever seen a woman that you wanted to start a conversation with... but your emotions started to go CRAZY at even the THOUGHT of approaching her... and you just decided that it would be easier to walk away than try to overcome your fear? (The worst part about this one is that you probably beat yourself up for it mentally later on, and felt even WORSE for the next several hours or days.) ... have you ever "lost your cool" around a woman that you really liked... maybe it was an argument that got you upset, or something she did that made you feel emotional or angry... and you let your emotions take over... which made her lose interest in you? ... have you ever met a woman you really liked, and started to feel emotionally attached to her BEFORE you even got to know her or went out with her... and you had crazy feelings of jealousy about her being with other men... even though she wasn't yours? ... have you ever felt like certain women could actually control your emotions... from outside your body? You're going along in life, everything is fine. Then you meet this particular woman, and you lose the ability to control your own emotions... and you walk around for days or weeks trying to get control of yourself... all the while knowing that being OUT of control is making her LESS interested in you (but not being able to do a damn thing about it)...?
I told myself I would not get married till at least 33. I'm 28 and just got married. I think that's how these things happen. Like others said, when you least expect it.
Married at 23. Still married at 30. 4 month old at home - hope to add one or two more kids over the next few years. Will have a nice family of 4 or 5, do the cute mom and pop things going to the ball games or dance recitals or camping trips, watch them grow into teens and young adults, be excited for them when they get into college, find their own significant others, land good jobs, get married and have kids of their own...all while still staying married to and in love with my wife. To some that sounds fairly tale romantic'ish. To some that sounds boring. I just know I'm completely happy with it, as is my wife. I don't think advise that proposes the OP stay away from seeking this is entirely helpful. If that's what his goal is, there is nothing wrong with that. But the underlying advise I do think makes sense. This is life...it's not about projecting some image of your perfect girl on every girl, or tricking yourself into believing that every relationship is the one because you want it to be. Or thinking that it has to happen in the next year or five years. It's about being true to yourself. And letting the other person be true to themselves...and then seeing if that is the fairly tale connection you were hoping for, or not.
I'm a bit surprised at how cynical and yet assured some of the answers are. I will agree with a few things... marrying to not be alone is not the answer. You'll be alone soon if that's what you're seeking. Trying too hard won't work, it happens when you least expect it or when you're not trying too hard at least. While the fairy tale "right one" might be unrealistic, finding a person that's the right one for you is not impossible. It happens, and it doesn't have to involve magic or naivete or denial. Macalu seems to have a grip on it without denouncing anything his experiences don't agree with. OP, don't sweat it too much. Be alright with yourself and the rest will follow. Desperate, depressed and dependent is no way to go through life, son.
I married at 21 and divorced at 35. Definately not the "right girl". I started dating my girlfriend just before turning 38 and her 45. We've been together a year. Neither one of us was looking for a relationship or expecting one. She doesn't use the term "right one", but she does tell me: "I can't think of anyone better suited for me than you." At different times in our lives, she never would have considered me, but the things you place value on change as time goes by. It's a lot of growth, experience, maturity, trial and error, and understanding what you really want and don't want.
I just think in this dude's case... he needs to stop looking for the right one right now and look internally, improve himself. Find his own value within himself and his passions, his interests, not inside of somebody else. That just screams insecure. Sure there are plenty of good ones out there, I met one. But I wasn't ready to hold onto her and we both made a lot of emotionally dependent mistakes that ended up making us grow apart despite how well we connected with one another. Our marriage was a mistake because it was too influenced by what other people wanted. Never, ever compromise. Timing is key, as Jeff said... the right time and the right place with the right person. Real talk.
