you know, reading this thread only makes women more confusing to me, which explains why I have not had a date in a looooonnnngggg time. Hell, at this point, I dont think I have a clue about them.
Sorry, but it looks like some things are unclear. I have not called her umpteen times, only at the most twice a week (usually Monday/Tuesday and Thursday/Friday). I told her that she is still welcome to come to the concert, but she shouldn't feel obligated to come. Whether or not, she will come is something I can't answer. I am actually IN the concert, so she would have had to meet me after it is over. I appreciate the kind words, Surf, and it is this feeling of wondering what in the hell is going on is why I said it is time to pull the plug for this weekend. However, I am not writing her completely off. I want to give this thing a week or two and see if she will call me. You see, I never told her that I was not going to call her again. As far as she knows, she thinks I will be calling her sometime next week. When reality has finally tapped her on the shoulder and showed her that isn't happening (me calling her), then we will see if she calls. I am hoping she will because she has so much in her favor, but I am not expecting it to happen (her calling me). I guess in 2 weeks or so, I will start a new thread here..."Should I call this girl?"
No need for the thread Manny. Yes...in 2 weeks you should call her. That is of course if you value her friendship. If not then I would say that after 2 weeks there is no sense in calling her. My guess is that she'll show up to the concert and that she will call you at the end of next week after you haven't called her. That's just my guess.
Well buy it then! Manny, I think you got some great advice in this thread, some of the best in a relationship thread that I've seen. I don't know about your statement 'but I am not going to let any woman make a fool out of me again'. Did she really make a fool out of you? I don't think so.
Ref, Thanks for the confidence booster. It really DOES mean alot to me. Your scenario is exactly what I am hoping for. Well, that statement, Cohen, wasn't really directed to her. It was said because about 3 years ago, I got played really good by this one chick (classic high-maintenance girl). I gave her some money to help her out (or so I believed) and she hardly paid me back. She toyed with my emotions, and when things finally and mercifully ended, I cried for like 3 days. So, she is who I am talking about, and I made a pact with myself to never let that happen again. That is why I said "I am not going to let any woman make a fool out of me again." However, I don't think this girl is that low like this other b****.
Geez. That almost sounds like its related to masturbation, if only by name... Hey Manny, I don't think her intent was to play around with your feelings. It's never cut and dried like that. But recognize in yourself the amount of patience you will give to a point (the pros and cons will become irrelavent), and consider how to deal with the aftermath if it should ever occur.
Damn, is that what dating has come to now? Now back in the pre HIV days ................, well I don't want to depress you young guys, Dimsie and Mrs JB. Don't young people believe in having fun now days? Do women really act like that now if they like a guy? Manny, I recommend that you start going out with some left wing women. Of course, per Dimsie, you might have trouble getting laid at all if you are a Republican. Dimsie, it is good to see a woman who still has high moral standards when it comes to this type of behavior.
You needn't worry about that. I can speak from experience that a Republican can have no trouble at all getting laid.
I described your situation as an exageration with a touch of humor. I'm not really that critical of her. I hope it works out for you cause your doing all the right things I do believe.
Understood Manny. I just wanted to make certain that you allow yourself to be vulnerable in a relationship, because a good relationship requires it. What is diffilcult is many people believe the lesson is to put up a wall, when the lesson is really to learn how to read other people, understand your own emotions, and not fool ones' self. Good luck!
Snog is actually a word!? (It sounded like much more... ) You been taking lessons from the BBC laydeez Lounge, Dimsie? http://www.bbc.co.uk/so/lovedup/laydeez/snoggirls.shtml
Wow, this has got to be the best relationship thread ever. Manny - at least you got to go out with this girl and get some indicator of interest... though it does sound like she's fading. Oh well. Good luck with whatever you decide to do... Yes, women do suck.
Manny, I'll try to be more serious this time. I think what you should do depends on what you want. It seems like you're a very serious earnest guy. You want a relationship more than just geting laid or game playing. I think you should call her up, ask her out, have some drinks and some fun and then level with her. If she can't handle it, move on. Tell her: " I really like you and would like to go out with you seriously. As you do this, try to kiss her passionately and.... If she doesn't react tell her you don't seem to be too interested in me, so I guess I won't call you anymore but maybe we can be friends. If she says "why do you say that'? You reply because you won't even let me kiss you and you're giving me a case of the blue balls (ok skip the last part, this is serious). If she can't handle it move on. You're in college and you work, so there must be other women around. Don't waste your time with a woman who is either not interested or up to your level of maturity. Dating really does have its up and downs. I used to characterize it as: the initial stage, which can be fun if you keep it light, are at least slightly into game playing, and don't let it last more than a time or two and then the crush phase where you both feel like "I can't believe I found you. we have so much fun and so much in common" This could easily lead to the release of "sexual tension" as Jorge in his projection refers to it. Then we have the "**** you, we have nothing in common and the you suck phase and so do you" phase and the process repeats itself till you find someone who you wind up getting into a serious relationship with and eventually married to. I guess I must have been an impatient type guy, but I never got any where if it didn't click a lot faster than it has with you so far. I think you generally do better if you ask for what you want when it comes to realtions with women. Besides they still respect you for asking. Cohen mentions vulnerability. Well by asking for what you want you do put yourself in a more vulnerable spot, (you can be rejected) but in some ways it is stronger and less agony than playing a passive waiting game. Go for it Manny! Good luck , but don't waste any more time if she fails to respond.
Hey, after the above post I went in and kissed my wife who was watching a movie with my teenage son , but she said that I was interrupting her movie on TV. I take it back. Maybe dating has more to offer than I remember!
<b>Manny</b>: I was dating this very compelling woman. I was her rebound guy-- if you've heard that term. We saw each other regularly; I was very infatuated with her. It was very intense. After about a month, I suspect her old boyfriend is coming back into the picture. I call her one Tuesday to iron out plans to take our kids to a baseball game on Thursday. After hashing out those details, she decides to inform me that she is going "back with her boyfriend" but she hopes we can still be friends... and still go to the game.... and other stuff. I told her "NO" and we never saw each other again. It took a while to get her out of my mind. Some of the advice here is rock solid: if the picture isn't clear, end it now. It will be easier to get over it in the future. Making yourself unavailable may turn her around if it is meant to be. On the bright side, 3 months later I met the woman who became my wife and now we have 2 beautiful daughters! You just never know.
Manny, I think any girl will be lucky to be with you...once you quit thinking too damn much and get over that bit of insecurity. You seem to be a nice, sensitive guy. Isn't that what girls want?? Forget about this one. I am not saying she is not worth it, but maybe it also depends on your approach. You need to think less and need to let things happen more naturally (easier said than done, I know). Maybe she felt awkward because she could sense that you had been pondering every little move too much. You know, women can sense stuff like that. Anyway, what the hell am I talking about, I'm drunk! Anyway, I have hardly seen any B-Bob post yet that has not made me laugh. (Except that one where he said "I agree with Heypartner"...that almost made me cry ).
OMG...after reading glynch's post all I can say is... I couldn't agree more!!! Theology students...isn't that one of the signs of the apocalypse?
So it's too conservative not to play tonsil hockey until the fifth date?!? Y'all aren't going to like this, but I would even wait a bit longer than that. It depends on how well we knew each other before we started dating. Some of us would just rather not include certain kinds of physical intimacy until we knew we were just as intimate on a mental and emotional level. Though, I guess if you do it with enough people, you can get desensitized to the physical stuff. (but is that good?) Of course, if I like somebody, they will know it whether I'm letting them round all the bases or not. (you know, obvious things like returning their calls and being excited to go out with them, unlike certain people we've discussed... sorry Manny ) Yes, conservatives do get laid... take it slow and build a decent, intimate relationship with someone, and you'll end up in a permanent situation where you can get laid as much as you want....
