[Washington Post] Why don't moms with kids have time?

Ah, I did forget to add that in there, didn't I? Trust me. I don't forget it and like some parental units after children...I don't skimp out on said activity. Maybe that's why I don't complain so much about parenting. I get magic time and take time for myself. It is a delicate balance. lol. :grin:

 

There's nothing wrong with that. I'm not railing against the parents in this thread who seem (for the most part) to be willing to discuss this rationally and on an even keel.

My problem is with the columnist from the WP (and her ilk) who receive a genuine question question and take it as an opportunity to play holier-than-thou regarding being a parent. They are the most insufferable type of parent, and really bug the heck out of me (and, I would imagine, many people who are childless).

 

Dood, you just need to relax...No one here is being condescending, IMHO...This is a thread based on parents experiences, and yes everyone's experience is different and yes it can be extremely hard and challenging..Someone had to take care of you, teach your right from wrong and love you...only you're parents know how easy/hard it was...Since you choose teaching as a profession, that's probably the reason why you're so jaded...that's the perfect birth control...

No one said it was the "be-all of human existence"...Parenting is not for everyone...just because you fock, doesn't make you a parent...

 

i love my girlfriend but we're on the verge of breaking up because we can't agree on kids. i can't give up my "freedom". call it selfish or whatever, i just don't want to make that kind of commitment.

i thoroughly enjoy spending time with my niece and nephew. i smile from ear to ear when they run and give me a hug. but at the end of the day, i can check out. i don't have to feed, bathe, discipline, or put them to bed. i can barely do that myself.

i understand why children are wonderful to parents. i know i would spoil my own child, but then i'll just end up being the same type of parent that i currently snicker at whose kid won't shut the hell up at the checkout line. good luck to all the parents and sorry that i judge you.

 

in his case maybe not :grin:

 

I think what he was saying is that if you CHOOSE to be a parent, then you should not be whining that you have no free time. It was your decision. Don't voluntarily become a parent and then start b****ing to all your friends that you have no free time. Because eventually, that's all you will have. You do not really have to do much once they are a teenager. Or even from 9-12 except for the occasional drive to soccer game. And if you did not choose to be a parent you need to learn to use a condom.

 

or look into...

Spoiler

But seriously now...you're saying that all parents shouldn't complain. Okay fine. But I don't want to hear anymore b****ing about wives or girlfriends (I mean, you obviously chose to do that) and no more complaining about your jobs (because let's face it...you had to apply at some point to get that). Or complain about your car or your house or your dogs or your parents or ....... I mean come on. Everyone complains. Even you in your post you sound like a complainer.

 

This is a very thorough article (it's long, but worth it):

All Joy and No Fun:
http://nymag.com/news/features/67024/#content

 

It's not so much the complaining. It's how they complain and how they can't let someone enjoy life without tying everything back to their kids and how "miserable" they are. Here's an example. I was talking to a friend the other day, and the conversation went something like this:

No one is saying you can't complain. What is irksome is how their life becomes the complaint.

 

So because I have a grievance with a column from the Washington Post, nobody loved me as a child? I haven't personally attacked a single person in this thread. You might want to check yourself.

 

The difference is that those parents allow for that to happen to them and you are right...they shouldn't make their life the complaint or just jump on their friend like that. As I said before my husband and I make time for ourselves, sure we miss going out at a moments notice and such, but we deal. The only person I really complain to is my husband. He at least gets to be at work for part of the day. lol

 

That is the contradiction of child rearing now. Or lack of it -

The people MOST qualified and deserving to have children, have them THE LEAST.

Reasons ranging from people's suspended adolescence, being too busy, women just not wanting "saggy boobs" or stretch marks or having any threat to their delicate little appearances...

People will protect the animals, rainforests, earth's natural resources, food products. But actual human children who are the LEAST at fault for anything, ARE faulted for taking time away from those pursuits.

Not that its all bad. Susan B Anthony never had children, and she probably did more for children and women than anybody in recent US history. But out of a 100 women, can you have 95 Susan B Anthony's and 5 actual mothers?

 

Wait. Don't you choose your friends? :grin:

 

This thread reminds me of :


Don't have kids people.

 

They didn't have kids when I chose to befriend them. The kids have turned them into douches and now I'm kinda stuck with 'em. :grin:

 

i don't know if i get what you're saying? how are children "faulted" if they never exist?

 

THANK YOU =]
Exactly my point.

 

For most of my life, I sounded like half of you..........now I sound like the other half.

 

I went about that all round-about and every which way, haha. Alright more rambling...

I meant the childless activist observer looking at parents immersed in raising kids who dont have time for anything, they'll see THAT example and decide for themselves not to have kids cuz it'll cut into their activism. OR, the activist turned parent might resent having their own time sucked away by it.

First I view PLANNED children as a benign thing. I view it almost a given that people have up to 2 kids and its what you're supposed to do (I actually dont like all the bellyaching about how arduous parenting is either being that its a "given"). Which makes kids a given to deal with, just like student debt or having to mow the grass. Therefore "innocent".

Thats what I was thinking. But yeah, all in all it still doesnt add up too good..


- - - -

Still, the issue is what USED to be a GIVEN is now a snotty nosed problem and nuisance? A baby born in 1810 is just like a baby born in 2010. What in KIDS themselves created the attitude? What causes this? How did the childless liberation come about? Is it a right of some liberal passage?

I've "opted out" of parenthood so its strange I talk about it. To me though its just the more people know about life, the more risk averse they become. Because there's more negative bullsh-t out there undiscovered than there is good sh-t. Not to say being childless means lacking substance obviously since its personal choice. But since we're designed to have kids, in the absense of kids is just making up sh-- to do as you go. As I'm doing myself, continuing the process of artifical selection in place of natural selection. But I do wonder sometimes what the big fear is.

 

That is the damn truth.

I just have to shake my head in disgust at people who complain about having healthy happy children. It's called PERSPECTIVE, people.