[Washington Post] Why don't moms with kids have time?

I've often wondered what exactly a stay at home parent spends the whole day doing. Unfortunately, this article did nothing to answer the question and instead just criticized me for having the nerve to wonder.

 

well you think you have to start by saying it would depend on the age of the child and how many total children.

now if you say you have a woman with a 18 year old senior in high school... hell if i know.

 

I have to watch my 19 m.o. daughter sometimes and I can say it isn't easy. She needs constant attention and can get into anything at a moment's notice. Kids that age don't just want to play by themselves they need someone and if you're the only one there they want to do everything with you. I can't imagine taking care of 2 kids...hell, she fights enough with my dog...another kid would be chaotic. It's weird how much you love to take care of them and dread it at the same time.

 

If I could have two wifes, they would each do half the work.

Marriage law needs revision.

 

Move to UTAH, sir.

 

I have to question your reading comprehension.

 

haha...i knew someone who "knows how it is" would appreciate that...it's life's little things...

sadly i just realized I only have my kids another two weeks...man, time sure flies by when you're having fun...then i'll be back to the bachelor lifestyle...I miss my kidos already...they may be little turds, but they're my little turds...

 

well that's convincing.

 

I blame The Thadeus.

DD

 

My wife and i have raised two very active boys 7 and 5. When you have children, everything in your life changes, EVERTHING. They need constant attention, and like the writer says everything takes longer, maybe not 3 times as long, but longer. Unless you want the television to raise your kids, the stay at home mom has an endless job of keeping the kids content and not bored, while trying to teach them right from wrong. Now that my boys are a little older and seem to like each other most of the time, it is starting to ease up a little and she has started doing some part time substitute teaching during the school year. When they are small, you seriously can't take your eyes off of them for more than a minute or two, or they will end up playing in the toilet or eating the dog food. It's crazy, and it's hard, but seeing them grow up is the most rewarding thing I've done in my life, and having my wife be the one raising them instead of paying a day care upwards of $1500 a month has been well worth it.

 

And I question yours. The person wrote in asking for a real-world schedule. She responded with abstract concepts and emotional arguments. That's not answering his question.

 

And that is why you neglect them over work, keep your home and retirement fund, and then they'll suck up to you for inheritance money.

 

If someone is looking for a more concrete schedule, here's one...

3:00 A.M. :: Wake up to soothe 3 year old back to sleep because of his night terrors

6:00 A.M. :: Possibly wake up yet again to soothe child's night terrors

8:00 A.M. :: Feed 6 Month old, hold him, burp him, change him and clean him up.

8:45 A.M. :: Can eat breakfast, maybe.

9:00 A.M. :: Laundry, dishes, bathroom? Baby cries, hold them, mop floor with one hand

9:30 A.M. :: Break, maybe?

10:00 A.M. :: 3 year old wakes, needs breakfast, somehow demands accompaniment to bathroom, needs clothes, puts underwear on backwards, must be instructed several times to put them on correctly

10:45 A.M. :: Baby goes down for nap, requires diaper change

11:00 A.M. :: Put eardrops in child ears (this is hell btw) and takes wrapping them in a large blanket to keep his hands away from his head so the drops can be administered, screaming all the while like you are chopping his ear off

11:15 A.M. :: Think about lunch, feed dogs and hamsters, clean hamster cage

12:00 NOON :: Make lunch, get child drink, eat lunch

12:45 P.M. :: Clean up lunch dishes, load dishwasher, clean kitchen, potty break for self (but end up with son in the bathroom as well)

1:15 P.M. :: Have 3 year old work on learning worksheets, teaching, reading, coloring with him. Finally prying markers from his hand when he starts coloring on himself

2:00 P.M. :: Baby wakes, diaper change, bottle, burp, hold all while answering your son's odd question or nodding about how "The train is traveling down the track Mama."

2:45 P.M. :: Laundry, clean bedrooms, sweep and re-sweep when child drags feet through the dirt

3:30 P.M. :: Snack time, can visit the park, doctor, store, etc

4:30 P.M. :: Return home, baby down for nap, diaper change, answer questions about why son can't ride on the dog. Unload car. Administer ear drops once again.

5:30 P.M :: Start making dinner and watch child as he wants to sit on the counter to watch the food cook

6:00 P.M. :: Eat dinner, baby up, diaper change, feed, burp

7:00 P.M. :: Clean up dinner dishes, load dishwasher, clean up kitchen, laundry?

7:45 P.M. :: Bath time for both children, dress and lay baby down

8:15 P.M. :: Computer time :grin:

8:30 P.M. :: Snack time, then clean child up from snack

9:00 P.M. :: Bed time, which requires potty-ing and arguing about which way underwear is worn, a cup of chocolate milk, all the lights on, radio on, night light on and two flashlights to drive away the monsters of the night, includes two books normally

9:30 P.M. :: Shower

10:00 P.M. :: Sit on couch or at computer, and discipline child when he gets out of bed for odd reasons

11:00 P.M. :: Bed time

This is a rather outline-ish outline for a schedule. I'm sure there is time there that allows for extra computer time or less time, depending on doctor's appointments. Office visits, etc. There are some days in my schedule during the evening where I have to go for two hours to meet with a client. But during that time you are constantly disciplining (No, don't bite your brother. No he doesn't need a bag of chips. Don't kick the hamster in the ball, No, you cannot call people fat. No, it's not nice to call me fat either), constant loving (Yes, I love you. No, I don't want to give your brother away. Yes I think you're cute. No, you can't stand on me), constant teaching (That's not blue, that's green. That's not how you count to ten. Can you sing twinkle twinkle little star with me?). Even if you are at the computer you are never alone. It's not down time or alone time, it's you and kids time. Don't forget the E.R. visits or the cold medicine or the worrying or the whining or the accidents.

 

I agree its hard for stay at home mothers to deal with their children but thats only from ages 1-8. from 9-18 you don't really need to do SQUAT. My mother stays at home because my father is fortunate to have a job that can provide for the whole family and here's how her day goes. Please note that I am taking away what she does for our puppy because he does technically qualify for an extremely young minor.

Wake up whenever
Have tea with friends/Go for a walk
Watch 3 hours worth of soap operas
Nap
More soap operas
Dad comes home
Dinner
Watch primetime TV (Daily Show, Colbert Report, SOAP OPERAS)
Sleep

Here's my dad's day both when my brother and I were young and now.

Wake up at 5 am
Be out the door at 5:30
Work till 7 pm
Get home at 9 pm
Dinner
Watch tv for an hour
Sleep

 

Am I supposed to feel sorry for people who don't have any free time because they willingly chose to take on the pointless responsibility of a child?

No thanks.

 

I kind of do feel sorry for some of them because if no one took on the "pointless responsibility" of a child the human race would be extinct.
I just don't feel sorry for the ones who bicker and complain about it.

 

You were once a pointless responsibility. Just because you were raised that way doesn not mean others take that approach to parenthood. You are a product of your parents.

Keep that in mind.