[Virginity] Play the waiting game or give it up ASAP?

mrm32, congratulations. I suggest you wait until marriage. You will not regret it. It takes guts and strength to be different from other people and resist peer pressure. I think you have done the right thing for yourself. Continue that path.

 

I guess it depends.

I hope that the girl you marry is a virgin as well...because you are not going to be very good for a while. (Flash backs to high school conquests)

I'm sure a lot of girls out there appreciate it and if it's due to your beliefs, then good for you.

However, you are really missing out on some great times...especially at your age

 

Why is it that you either have to sleep around or wait until you get married? Is there not a happy medium where you have sex with people that you care about and are in a happy relationship with?

 

I believe that's approximately what FranchiseBlade, Major Malcontent, moestavern19, WildSweet&Cool, and I have all been saying...

 

You need to get laid...pronto.....


If you wait until marriage you are going to suck at it, and who needs that kind of pressure?

I bartended at college at SWT.....life and sex were good....ah the good ole days....

Got to train in the ring for the big fight you know....

DD

 

Don't believe the hype. The longer you wait, the more you'll be disappointed when you finally do have sex. While sex is great, it's not as special as your hormones are going to lead you to believe.

Lose your virginity, save your sanity.

 

I agree with this, especially the part I put in bold. I was older than you currently are when I first had sex and I was kinda like.....I don't want to say disappointed, but...it's not what you might think it is. Don't get me wrong, sex is great and I like having it, but I don't understand the obsession that some people have with it...especially the people that seem so obsessed with sex that they act like they will die if they go longer than a week without sex.

 

If it makes y'all feel any better, I'll admit I'm a virgin also. You'd think that would be impossible since I have a son but he was born of a virgin (technically) on the day of Immaculate Conception (to Cathlolics) and when he was a week old he pulled himself across a dining room table with his mother and 2 grandmothers as stunned witnesses. Almost went over the edge because they were in disbelief.

Since then my family has believed he is either destined to do amazing things, or...lol, I am not making this up...am the anti-Christ.

 

Take your time and dont rush it. I was a bit older when I finally did it. I didnt regret doing it but I probably wouldnt do it again if I could relive that moment. You have to be true to yourself and sometimes that isnt always the easy thing to do.

 

Hmm.. this is how I see it:

Chances are your wife won't be a virgin, so that kind of ruins this whole "waiting" thing. Kinda throws that whole romantic aspect out the window yu know what I mean ya Dig?? I say go ahead and pop your cherry. I'm 23 and I've been with about 25-30 women.. Not alot, but not little either. And not many of them were one night stands... I'd had many many beautiful women and my best years were 18~21. I lost my virginity at 17 so you're not that far behind! Eff as many beautiful girls as you can while you still can. You can't even do that if you wanted to later on. Unless of course you become super rich! Remember, You only live once!

ps. wrap that **** up!!

 

Taking that comment literally, nothing wrong with waiting. ASAP indicates forcing it to "get the zero off the board" for the sake it

Having sex does not in any way shape or form make you a bad person. It doesnt automatically make you a horndog, "douchebag", it doesnt make you dirty. It doesnt make you anything. It'll at most just make you want more than what you had before is all...and i think THERE'S the potential issue. When you want more, sometimes it means with different people

Its not the only part of life and marriage but its big enough where you cant just assume it'll fall into place with someone. Why neglect what can be the deciding factor, especially if yours and her bodies desire it? If you want kids and believe in family though, waiting for marriage how you're doing might be the best thing really. So you dont knock up some loose broad who'll diminish the family experience for you.

I dont have the ego to think I should tell anyone what to do, so follow your heart. With that said
YOU MUST PRE-NUP more than anybody who gets married

 

yeah man, that reminds me

Your sexual peak is RIGHT NOW!

Might wanna use it before you lose it
(or before slight % decrease in performance ...)

 

Macbeth??

 

i'm 43 and i'm still a virgin...

 

Wait, if that's "not alot" what fits your definition of "alot" of sexual partners?

 

Give it up ASAP. To steal a line from "Little Miss Sunshine", you need to be getting laid as much as possible at your age, your opportunity to sleep with 18-21 year old girls is at it's peak, take advantage of it while you can or you'll regret it later on. Just don't be stupid about it, wear protection, etc.

 

75-100 or more.... I roomed with an athlete my freshman year in the doorms for part of the year. I spent a lot of time crashing on the couch at the Frat I was pledging.

 

For all the "chances are your wife won't be a virgin" garbage...

How can you assume such?


I was 22 when I met my wife. She was 19.

I was a virgin until the night we were married, and so was she. I was then 23, and she was 20. We had proof... to say it least graphically.

Both because we had chosen to not "give it up ASAP." And trust me, in our talks pre-marraige we realized that we'd both had opportunities too, with others (before we'd met) and with one another (after we met, and pre-marriage).

For us, we knew we'd be together, and we'd waited that many years, so 11 more months was manageable... and worth the "short" wait considering how long we'd already waited.

Besides, the sex really is not the reason we married... we married because we connected on so many other levels as friends before we were even "officially" dating. (Yes friends can be lovers... and when you're married to them, there is no horrible feeling of guilt after the deeds are done.) Ever had a best friend of the opposite sex? Try it, and you just may fall in love... if you cannot be friends with a "date" or "a boyfriend / girlfriend" then I wouldn't complicate it with sex.

Sex does NOT fix relationships. Shoot, how many posts or threads have you seen on here that have shown how much sex, for the sake of sex, has even ended a relationship?

Either way, sex is powerful. Powerful in "making love," or powerful enough to literally drive someone away... while feeling used and humiliated.







12 years (this July) later... it just keeps getting better. Believe me when I tell you there is NOTHING we've discussed that hasn't been tried at least once... It doesn't mean we are bored, but like any relationship, you must define what is acceptable within that relationship -over time- it is a process... and the "process" in our case has been nothing short of wonderful... But ours has never been a relationship about the physical act alone, however much of a culmination, or reward, it was initially the night of our wedding. We've both laughed at our wedding night in recent years... and have briefly thought, "What if we'd known then what we know now?" -only to realize and be thankful that we were not been so "experienced" then, because learning one another over the years is what keeps it interesting. And a brief tip for all guys here... it is NEVER just about a guy getting his... ALWAYS seek to take care of your spouse FIRST, or as much as possible, and she'll respond to your "making" - Initially, it's a security issue more than a feeling physically for her (she'll learn to "feel" as time goes on.. there is always pain the first time, and possibly thereafter for a while -just ask a girl that knows). And the first sign to her that she can trust you, and be secure in your love, is that you've saved it just-for-her. That's security. Keep it locked down until it's time to open up to THE one.

But there's the hard part (no pun here)... making sure you've met Mr. or Ms. Right.

Trust me, it's best if BOTH of you are virgins, because then you learn together... And there ARE still virgins of both genders out there, contrary to media assumptions... And no, not just "technical virgins" if you know what I mean.

If both of you have never "test driven" a Cadillac (or whatever you consider a great car), you won't know any different if you are in a Pinto (or whatever you may consider a starter car)...

But I'll guarantee you this... Communication about what you want/she wants, and spending the time it takes to satisfy one another, along with the natural instincts and hormones you'll already have working for you -let's just say it will get better. Your bodies actually will "figure it out" - and practice is perfect...

Just be open with whomever you "meet" and as soon as it is appropriate, let them know you're status... Some will not want to "damage your goods" -others may want "pop you" -either way, just know that ONLY if the two of you are virgins will neither of you know "better" or be "let down" by a performance -unless the man does not make sure to prepare his mate... then you can damage the permanent memory of what sex is... anyway, enough openly cryptic stuff... again, the body knows what to do.

I found out (with more than one girl that I dated, but especially so with my wife-to-be) that it is not as big of turn off for a guy to be "unexperienced" as the society we live in wants you to believe... It actually takes pressure out of a relationship -removes the need to live up to the "last guy's performance" if you know what I mean... and vice versa for her. It can also reduce a threatening feeling of a need to perform for her... as in, if you are not seeking, or are not already "in the know" then she can relax and be herself. That's who you want to meet anyway.. the real her. Not someone worried about whether or not she'll be good enough for you (this works the other way as well -no pressure from her, allows you to be you and not feel like you're being tested in some comparison).

Also, if someone truly loves you, they'll appreciate you more if they know that, basically since birth, you've always, only, been theirs.

Only two things you can give someone that they cannot get from anywhere else... your love, and your virginity.

Those are yours until you give them away. And it's most fulfilling (at least it was for me) to give those things to the one I knew (and then physically knew for sure ) had also saved those things for me.

Choose wisely.

Sorry for the somewhat health class/morality/speech/preach/op-ed post... I kind of rambled, but I felt the need.

 

If you're a guy you can always just lie about it.. girls can't.

 

I'm a virgin myself at 19. Always been born and raised with the mentality to wait for the one and I hope to follow it.

IROC - much respect. I read your entire post and hope I can have a relationship like yours.