Im not sure I get the point of this... like I said, its crossed our minds as it could save the kids and ultimately my friend BUT I dont know a address or full names of the people I would list on it. Plus, a selfish as it seems with kids involved, I could end up with a loss in it all.
I would say give it some time. He's obviously not stupid (he's got a good support system from what it sounds like) and it may just take him a while to understand what she is saying and doing isn't funny or acceptable. The bad thing is he may get attached to the kids and drag the relationship on longer than he should. As for what you should do, just be there for him I would say. Inevitably he's going to have issues with this woman. Don't try to pressure him, but telling him how you felt about her was a good step. Now just be there when he needs you to be, cause with a crazy like that chick sounds its bound to happen. I will never understand why guys have to always go for the freaks... don't they know its the quiet chicks that are the best in bed? In all seriousness good luck, to both you and him, and his family.
He's saying "[that girl must be] Hispanic". It's a staple question when assuming someone's racial identity through a friendly way of assumption and quick stereotypical fashion in this here BBS. Well? Anyway, your friend will dig deeper holes than the one he's already in if he doesn't leave her now. Unless he's Mother Theresa or the best humanitarian out there and can deal with the responsibility of picking up the "baggage" [as you call her kids], let him be.
coming from a woman that does not have kids but does plan on it, I would NEVER leave my children in a room at some guy's house that I have known a week. She should be a Mother first or those kids are going to grow up and repeat the cycle that they are living in now. Your friend needs to see the light and move on. Looks are not always everything if that is the main reason for staying with her.
This is my advice for when it comes to any one's relationship besides your own: MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!
Perhaps you skipped over the "My best friend, known since 1st grade, " part ...? He IS minding his own business.
Sometimes you just gotta let people screw up. As a friend, you can just be around when they need someone to vent to about screwing up. You said your words, that's all you can do. It's his life, his decisions, his perogative. If the situation is seriously bad for the kids somehow, you can call CPS. They are the helpless ones.
Maybe he can help. You don't giev him much credit. It may be selfish on my part, but like everyone else I'm thinking "poor kids," and not worrying too much about your friend. Assuming your friend is a passably decent person, won't abuse the children, can show some leadership, and has a mind to make the children's lives better, he could be a positive influence. Of course, from your description, he might not be trying. I had a friend who got his girlfriend pregnant a couple of times as teenagers, and ultimately ran away. Another friend of mine swooped in, started dating the girl, married her, provided for her, sent her to college, etc. Now, he raises the deadbeat's sons as his own and has a stable, loving house. When it all started, he was a dropout without any decent job prospects and it worked out. I admire the hell out of him. Of course, it's not a model that has a high success rate, I don't think.
And? I've known my best friend since before we even started school. I would never judge her relationship. This guy's friend is going to pick the girl he's known for a week over him, because he's thinking with his heart/penis and not his brain. In the end if you say something bad about his lady he isn't going to want to be around you. That's how people in love are, even if you've known them since you were in diapers.
If it was possible, I'd agree with Deckard 110%. I'd be very careful about approaching your friend. At this point, he's not ready to see faults. And no matter how right you are or how right he will one day realize you were, anytime there's a confrontation about someone's girl/guy, there's always going to be consequences to the friendship. I'm going through it right now.
Please post more. Seriously. There is such a dearth of females on this board that it is just rediculous. You might say we are saturated with male fans of the Rockets, including yours truly. If you have a strong stomach and a bottle of Xanax, you could check out D&D as well. Needless to say, I agree with your post.
I don't think he's not minding his own business. Most people would be concerned for their best friend if they were dating someone like this. Would you let your mother or sister date some ex-convict druggie? And yes, it's sad she has two kids. Its amazing that some people are still against hamburgers. *in before the ****storm*
I am intrigued by this statement... and didn't know if you knew more than what we know. I don't think rusHour knows her more than what he heard from those conversations and more than what his friend said to him. What cycle are you talking about? Are you assuming some things?
Yikes, I don't know why women don't practice birth control. I hate seeing kids with bad parents who don't know how to raise children properly. Why keep having kids if you don't know how to raise your first child? That's why birth control was created. Anyhoo, I understand where you're coming from, OP. Sadly, you can't do anything but let him to screw up on his own. You can be there for him when he does that. One of my closest friends was dating this loser for 3 years and got pregnant by him. I disliked him so bad because he was a loser! Your typical drug dealer and a cheater. She finally woke up and left him after 3 years...all along, I was there for her and she knew how I felt about him. Just be there for him even though if he gets STDs or a child.
