Just go apologize whether you were wrong or not. Apologies are cheap. Everyone who has already said are likely right -- her school problems stem from some other problem. Her schooling won't get better until the other problem is fixed. You seem too concerned with her schooling anyhow; you can't make her apply herself. So, (1) go apologize, (2) stop sweating her about school. Oh, and talk in person, not texting. These interchanges sound much harsher in print.
I don't see why you feel the need to either a) play an active role in fixing your friend's problems or b) not be friends with them at all. You are giving yourself a fictional ultimatum, if it's a platonic relationship then I do not understand why you can't simply be there for her, even if she is wrong. What's wrong with meeting people where they are? Maybe I am underestimating the complexity of your relationship with her, but I don't see how come you must end all ties, as you said 'to keep yourself from getting hurt'. Not going to school isn't the worst thing in the world, and I don't really see how it hurts you. I also don't see how cutting ties helps her, if she needs help.
This was my reaction as well. I find it really odd that you would sever all friendship ties with a person because you didn't approve of how they were handling their education and future job potential. Not everybody is cut out for college, maybe her path lies somewhere else. But that is for her to decide, and having people drop out of her life because they think that might be a mistake certainly can't help her as far as feeling like she has any support. But, at the same time, judging by her reactions, it sounds like she does have some other issues going on. Honestly, if you have any interest in being her friend, I'd take DaDa's advice and just put the ball back in her court.
ok i read through most of the posts in response. we just txt in the morning most of the time we just call on the phone or talk to each when we see each other. i just txted this morning because i was at work and didnt want to be on the phone with a conversation that wasnt work related. secondly hayesfan: its not all school she stopped going to school a while ago and fell into debt and has financial issues, i dont know how far deep it is, she never told me nor have i ever asked. i made it clear to her that i never was going to offer any money to her at all. the only thing i have done to her that involves money is that i did buy her a gift card to a coffee place so she could use it go there and study. this obviously puts added pressure of trying to finish school while keeping oneself out of crazy debt that isnt student loans. i've encouraged her to try to look into other jobs than this one that pay more and probably will at least introduce some change in her life. she at times uses her current job as a crutch since pretty much no one gets fired here unless they really mess up. as a part timer she can deviate from her schedule with no consequences. thirdly, she hasnt told her parents at all that she has dropped out from school, they actually expected her to graduate in the fall but that wont happen, she still gets some money from her parents because of that. she said all she wants to do is finish school because she doesnt want to just bounce around from job to job. she sees a lot of people here at work who at much older than her, without a college education, who do the same job she does and gets paid the same. and then she sees the people who make more money with degrees in positions of authority and living somewhat comfortably. she said at least to me (now dont know how much of it is true now) that all she wants to do is finish school. i explained to her the sacrifices she will have to make to be able to juggle both school and work and time management because she was depressed she had really poor time management. she sadly became a joke amongst her supervisors that she should never be relied upon for anything. she did try for a bit. oh why would i cut ties with her? this has like i said been going on for close to a year now and at least for me (and this is probably just a personality flaw in me) its hard for me to be friends with someone who is self-destructing and isnt willing to accept help. it really bothers me to see a friend do that, it effects my own mood as well. i was raised in that fashion from my parents told me as a kid that a friend who doesnt help a friend in need is no better than their enemy. personally rather try to see my efforts go to waste (and yes i took time out of my schedule to help her possibly find new places to live, jobs and tutor her at least in the subjects i was good at) which would upset me I would rather not be friends with her at all. I am a nice guy but at the same time I wont let myself get into a situation like that where its seems hopeless. I know that may sound mean but its like if you arent going to try to help yourself why should i be making a big effort to help you out? i can try to stay casual friends but everytime i see her i'll think of what she is going through and that will make me feel a)guilty for not helping or b)upset she isnt doing anything about it. it maybe the cowards way out but just not talking is probably best course of action. i am just going to not say anything i'll see how it goes actually. the funny thing was i posted the original before going to lunch and she was in the hallway when i got back i was going to say something but i just walked by and nodded. and to you guys asking for pics, i dont have any actually, but like i said i never was interested in dating her still i am not even though i would say she is cute. so just letting y'all know right now. there is a different girl here i like in that way. i will say I dont know if she thinks/wants something more out of it than just friendship though which could be a reason for the outburst. f-Me why cant the rockets just be still playing life seems so much easier when the rockets are playing
Every thing seems nicer when you can complain about Rafer's shooting percentage or Yao getting hurt. Life doesn't seem so bad when you have something to look forward to 82 nights in those five months.
oh yeah and to those who say why come to an internet forum to ask questions etc. i dont do that on any other forum except mainly because i have met a decent amount of people here through the board and have become friends with them outside of the board, both in LA where i live and in houston. many times its just easier to post here to say something to a bunch of people not everyone here is just a faceless person behind their screenname to me
I think DaDa had the right idea. I would do exactly what he said. Then just leave it up to her. You did your part, and will be there for her if she decides she can handle it.
