"I know how hard it is to put food on your family"-some coke snorting hick ------------------ When you make an assumption, you make an ass out of Uma Thurman.
"Oh dont worry folks, Im a singing hobo, not a stabbing hobo" Simpsons ------------------ "I have amazing, powers of observation"...Pink
Paraphrasing here but : "The Rockets will not take a SF in the draft." - YouKnowWho. ------------------ The time for logic and reason has come and gone. It's homer time now. Believe.
"Baseball is such a stupid sport." -YouAlsoKnowWho. ------------------ We used to laugh at Grandpa when he'd head off and go fishing. But we wouldn't be laughing that evening when he'd come back with some w**** he picked up in town. Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus Flytrap. The flytrap can bite and bite, but it won't bother the frog because it only has little tiny plant teeth. But some other stuff could happen and it could be like ambition.
"I love him to death, but when I cross that line, if my mom was on that other team, I've got to do something. Then I'm going to come home, have some tea, some croissants and some bagels." -Our very own Cuttino Mobley comenting on Scottie Pippen. WTF? ------------------ The season's over, but the 'Stros have started. Guess I'm still gonna be nursing that keg...
After Lisa'a class watches the old movie reel saying that one day man may reach the moon they realize their teacher and her car is gone then Ralph Wiggum says "Maybe she drove to the moon!" ------------------ I have seen much of the rest of the web. It is brutal and cruel and dark. CC.net is the light.
"To Beer, the cause of and solution to all of life's problems." - Homer Simpson Someone needs to put a Jack Handy quote in here. ------------------ Reporter asks "How close were you to the victim?" Shorty says,"Real close until the roofies wore off. Then she woke up talking about pressing charges, so I took my tongue out of her ass and left." Shorty - Marlon Wayans "Scary Movie" Go Rockets!!! SS
This is not a direct quote, but at a press conference Reagan was asked what he would do if a nuclear missle was fired and then, suddenly, they realized they shouldn't have fired it. His reply was that he had a button he could push that would bring the missle back to us! KABOOM! ------------------ humble, but hungry.
"We had some sex" - George Bush commenting on Ronald Reagen . ------------------ S.O.S. Save Our Signatures!
Jocelyn Elders, former U.S. Surgeon General in the Clinton Administration: "We must make the bullets safer!!" ------------------ HOUSTON Rockets forever!!
Maybe it was 92 or 93 or 95. Not my quote. ------------------ "banging Shaq is a whole different expirience"-Pete Babcock Behold the power of quotation
"Anyway, I'm so thankful, and so gracious—I'm gracious that my brother Jeb is concerned about the hemisphere as well." "Our nation must come together to unite." "For every fatal shooting, there were roughly three non-fatal shootings. And, folks, this is unacceptable in America. It's just unacceptable. And we're going to do something about it." "It's very important for folks to understand that when there's more trade, there's more commerce." "Neither in French nor in English nor in Mexican."—Declining to answer reporters' questions at the Summit of the Americas, Quebec City, Canada, April 21, 2001 "The Senate needs to leave enough money in the proposed budget to not only reduce all marginal rates, but to eliminate the death tax, so that people who build up assets are able to transfer them from one generation to the next, regardless of a person's race." "I suspect that had my dad not been president, he'd be asking thesame questions: How'd your meeting go with so-and-so? … How did you feel when you stood up in front of the people for the State of the Union Address—state of the budget address, whatever you call it." "You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test." "I do remain confident in Linda. She'll make a fine labor secretary. From what I've read in the press accounts, she's perfectly qualified." "I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully." -George W. Bush Ah, I could go on forever! ------------------ Who's ya daddy?
"We need to make good contacts with the Grecians." George W. Bush ------------------ The title will come to ClutchCity once again.
LOL...can anyone believe that the president of the greatest nation in the world presented these landmark quotes? Good grief. You have to be kidding me. Those are a riot. ------------------ "I have amazing, powers of observation"...Pink
"The Red Sox will beat the Yankees." "There's no such thing as 'Curse of the Bambino'." ------------------ RKMAN Proud believer of the 2001 World Champion Houston Astros.
How about all those athletes who claim to have made 360 degree turns in their careers? If you turn 360 you're going the same way. ------------------ Draftsource.net-- the premier source for draft info. Profiles, rankings, mock drafts, and more! The Mo Taylor Fan Site
Read and Learn from the ultimate stupid qoute machine, Al Gore. (I couldn't make them all fit...it's long...be careful, the world may have ended by the time you're done reading... Mammogram...sonogram...honey graham... At an event in Las Vegas on Monday, 09/1800, Gore declared potential breast cancer victims faced "a long waiting line before they could get a biopsy or, uh, or a uh, another kind of, what am I looking for, a sonogram or...." People in the crowd shouted "mammogram." Equal...if not more so? "When my sister and I were growing up," Mr. Gore told a small audience made up mostly of women, "there was never any doubt in our minds that men and women were equal, if not more so." Gore didn't reverse John 3:16, but he DID reverse Matthew 6:21 During the second debate, while discussing the environment, Gore said: "And I'm a grandfather now. I want to be able to tell my grandson, when I'm in my later years, that I didn't turn away from the evidence that showed that we were doing some serious harm. In my faith tradition, it is written in the book of Matthew, 'Where your heart is, there's your treasure also.' And I believe that we ought to recognize the value to our children and grandchildren of taking steps that preserve the environment in a way that's good for them." Gore got the quote from Matthew 6:21 backwards. Matthew 6:21 states: "For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also." This follows verses 19 and 20 which say: "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth where moth and rust consume and where thieves break in and steal; but store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust consumes and where thieves do not break in and steal." One thousand billion million trillion... Oct. 25 2000 JACKSON, Tenn. (Reuters) — Criticizing Bush's Social Security privatization plan at a rally in Tennessee, Gore said, "He is proposing to privatize a big part of Social Security and he's proposing to take $1 trillion, a million billion dollars out of the Social Security trust fund and give it as a tax incentive to young workers." A trillion is one thousand billion, not a million billion. Execute a pregnant woman? Uhh... I don't know On July 16, 2000 during a "Meet the Press" interview, Gore was asked if he would be in favor of postponing the execution of a pregnant woman. His hesitant response was "I'd have to think about it". Apparently not prepared for this curve ball of a question, Gore must have been so conscientious about upsetting his pro-choice constituency that he couldn't even give the answer that was obvious to every member of the House which in uncharacteristically unanimous fashion passed legislation shortly after this interview to prohibit such a practice. RUSSERT: Right now there's legislation which says that a woman on death row, if she's pregnant, she should not be executed. Do you support that? GORE: I don't what you're talking about. RUSSERT: It's a federal statue on the books that if a woman is pregnant and she's on death row, she should not be executed. GORE: Well, I don't know what the circumstances would be in that situation. I would--you know, it's an interesting fact situation. I'd want to think. $29 dollars a week can buy a lot of Diet Cokes In his 2000 convention acceptance speech, Gore said the Bush tax cut would save the average family 62 cents a week ("enough for a diet coke"). He later clarified it and said 62 cents a day per family... which is still wrong. Even at 62 cents a day, that's only a little over $226 a year. Under the Bush tax plan, the average family would save $1500 -- $4.20 a day, which is almost $29 dollars a week. Collecting cans for prescription drug benefits! During the October 3, 2000 Presidential debate, Gore mentioned 79-year-old Winifred Skinner, who has become the campaign's mascot for his Medicare prescription-drug program. "In order to pay for her prescription drug benefits, she has to go out seven days a week, several hours a day, picking up cans ," Gore said. "She came all the way from Iowa in a Winnebago with her poodle in order to attend here tonight." However, Skinner doesn't need to collect cans for her medication. Her son, Earl King, who formerly owned his own business and now lives on an 80-acre ranch and describes his lifestyle as "comfortable," has offered repeatedly to help her make ends meet. She continually declines his offers. In addition, the Winnebago Gore referred to, as well as the gas, was paid for by the Gore campaign. Five campaign workers accompanied Skinner, a longtime Democrat and former union organizer. I was there with James Lee Witt...oh, wait.... In the Presidential debate on October 3, 2000, Governor George W. Bush gave credit to the Federal Emergency Management Service (FEMA) for their work in Texas during fires and floods in Parker County. Vice President Al Gore said "I accompanied James Lee Witt down to Texas when those fires broke out." Carl Cameron, of Fox News first reported that Gore had not, in fact, been to Texas with Witt to look at the damage in Parker County. Gore WAS in Texas, but FEMA officials said Witt never went to Texas to deal with the 1998 fires. To say that he was traveling with Witt implies strongly that Gore was traveling to a location in an official capacity. Gore was on his way to a fundraiser, and happened to run into FEMA people at the airport. The purpose of his trip was to attend a fundraiser, NOT to see the damage, as Gore implies. While Gore has accompanied Witt on other occasions, Gore didn't on this occasion, AND the purpose of this particular trip wasn't even connected with the disasters. Some claim Gore just "forgot" that Witt wasn't with him on this occasion... did Gore also forget the purpose of this particular trip? "If James Lee was there before or after, then you know, I got that wrong then," Gore said on ABC's Good Morning America on October 4, 2000. At a Sept. 22 press conference, Gore stated "I've been a part of the discussions on the strategic reserve since the days when it was first established." However, President Ford established the Strategic Petroleum Reserves when he signed the Energy Policy and Conservation Act (EPCA) on December 22, 1975 — two years before Al Gore became a congressman A dog's health care costs less than my mother-in-law's! Vice President Al Gore, reaching for a personal example to illustrate the breathtaking costs of some prescription drugs, told seniors in Florida that his mother-in-law pays nearly three times as much for the same arthritis medicine used for his ailing dog, Shiloh. "That's pretty bad when you have got to pretend to be a dog or a cat to get a price break" he stated. Gore's mother-in-law does pay more for her medication, but the generic brand of the drug, which 85% of Americans now use as a cheaper alternative, costs half as much, or one and a half times what it costs for the pooch - not three times. In addition, given the complexities of the marketplace, and the steps people take to get a better deal, it can work the other way around: Pets "pretending" to be humans. The Gore campaign also admitted that it lifted those costs not from his family's bills, but from a House Democratic study, and that Gore misused even those numbers: They represent the manufacturer's price to wholesalers, not the retail price of the brand-name product. Drug costs often cost more for humans, though, because they are more heavily regulated. Jeff Trewhett, the spokesman for the Pharmaceutical Research and Manufacturers Association of America, said the higher costs for the human version of patented drugs is justified because the research, development, and approval costs can surpass $500 million per drug. But once the drug is approved for humans, the cost to test and approve it for animals is minimal, he said. Interestingly enough, Gore is proposing more regulations on on top of what we have now. Our food also costs 3 times as much as the dog's... will Gore say that we have to pretend to be dogs to get affordable food? Dairy Farm Expert in a Day Milwaukee, WI - "I'm very familiar with the importance of dairy farming in Wisconsin. I've spent the night on a dairy farm here in Wisconsin. If I'm entrusted with the presidency, you'll have someone who is very familiar with what the Wisconsin dairy industry is all about." Let's play "Insult the Host" Gore sometimes shows publicly that he lacks Clinton's finesse. Take a reception in Los Angeles last month. It was Gore's moment to shine before donors who ponied up $2.8 million. But he wound up egg-faced when he compared electing a Republican as president to rejecting an Oscar-winning team in favor of the producers of the Hollywood clunker ''Howard the Duck.'' One of the evening's hosts, Jeffrey Katzenberg, was a driving force behind ''Howard the Duck.'' The crowd tittered. Hey! It's Super Tuesday... oh wait... Several Tennesseans tried to cast votes in the presidential primary, thinking that their state was part of Super Tuesday. They weren't alone. Vice President Al Gore seemed to think so, too. Knox County registrar Pat Crippens said, "I just got off the phone with a gentleman. I had to explain we're not Super Tuesday, we're just next Tuesday." His office got about 30 calls from confused voters. In 1988, Tennessee and 12 other Southern states decided to hold their presidential primaries on the second Tuesday of March, dubbing it "Super Tuesday" in hopes of gaining national political clout. Several Northern states also held their primaries that day. More than a dozen states have since moved their primaries to the first Tuesday of the month, creating a new "Super Tuesday." Tennessee - the vice president's home state - is among six that have stuck with March 14. As reporters and photographers watched from the lobby of his Nashville headquarters on Tuesday, Gore called a "Miss Ferris" and told her, "Today is the presidential primary in Tennessee ." His expression changed as he listened to her. "Well, you know, that is right. You are absolutely right," he said before hanging up and quickly dialing the next number on his voter call list. Source: Houston Chronicle The Republicans controlled the Senate in '93? Do the Democrats know this? From Meet the Press 12/19/99 MR. RUSSERT: Senator, what did you think of the 1996 Clinton-Gore campaign's approach to fund-raising? MR. BRADLEY: I thought that a lot of people in politics were embarrassed by it, quite frankly. I think Republicans and Democrats were disgraceful in that fund-raising program in 1996. Now, I think Al had the right point. It's the lessons that you learn. In 1990, I raised a lot of money for my Senate race. I raised too much money. I discovered that you can have too much money in a political campaign. I think that's what George Bush is going to discover. Now, in Al's case, the attorney general investigated it fully and determined that an independent counsel was not needed. And so - and the Republicans might make that an issue, but that's the reality. But I think the question is what you learn from this. And what I learned is that you've had seven years to actually do something on campaign-finance reform, and nothing has happened. I remember visiting the White House in 1993, Democratic Congress, both Senate and House, and urging the president to act on campaign-finance reform. Now, I don't know if you were in the loop or not, but the fact of the matter is that no action took place. And when we say what we... VICE PRES. GORE: Because all the Republicans voted against it. MR. BRADLEY: ...what we need to do... VICE PRES. GORE: And they controlled the Senate. MR. BRADLEY: ...what we - where was the effort made, Al, in 1993? VICE PRES. GORE: We got every single Democratic senator to vote for it. Gore and the Internet "During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet" Gore said when asked to cite accomplishments that separate him from another Democratic presidential hopeful, former Sen. Bill Bradley of New Jersey, during an interview with Wolf Blitzer on CNN on March 9, 1999. Gore supported technological advances related to the advancement of the Internet, but to say that HE took the initiative in creating the Internet is a bit much. A spotted Zebra. "A zebra does not change its spots." - Al Gore, attacking President George Bush in 1992. E plu...what? "We can build a collective civic space large enough for all our separate identities, that we can be e pluribus unum -- out of one, many." E Pluribus Unum is the motto on the Great Seal of the United States of America, and is Latin for "out of many, one," not "out of one, many." Who ARE these people?? Listen to Al Gore (Algore) asking who the busts of our Founding Fathers are at Monticello before the Inauguration. DUH. Mary and Joseph were homeless?? "Speaking from my own religious tradition in this Christmas season, 2,000 years ago a homeless woman gave birth to a homeless child in a manger because the inn was full." Hello! Mary and Joseph were not homeless! A new type of tree! Al Gore, giving a speech for Yellowstone National Park's 125th Anniversary, Albright Visitors Center, Sunday, August 17, 1997: "When we come here, we see the longpole pine and the Douglas fir." Sorry Al, it's LODGEpole. There is no such thing as a LONGpole pine. Michael who? Maybe Michael Jordan hasn't made an indelible impression on everyone outside Chicago. Speaking at a D.C. function, Vice President Al Gore, wowed by the Bulls, said: "I tell you that Michael Jackson is unbelievable, isn't he. He's just unbelievable." James who? In his first appearance in a nationally televised candidates forum, Gore was asked to name a past US president from whom he drew personal inspiration. He replied that he especially admired another "dark horse" candidate, and a product of his home state, the great "president James Knox". The only problem is that the history books show that nobody named Knox ever occupied the White House. He most likely meant James Knox Polk. Manliness Thanks! In 1996, Al Gore visited a school in a largely Hispanic portion of Albuquerque, New Mexico. In an effort to fit in, he decided it would be appropriate to say something in Spanish as he took the stage. He was probably supposed to say "Muchisimas Gracias", which means "Very, very much thanks" or possibly "Muchas Gracias", which means "thank you very much." Instead, he walked on stage saying "Machismo Gracias" - roughly translated to "manliness thanks." There's a video clip of the press in Albuquerque giggling about it and saying, "Oh well, he's trying." Daily Town Hall Meetings "I certainly learned a great deal from 3,000 town hall meetings across my home state of Tennessee over a 16-year period" in Congress, the vice president told NPR’s Bob Edwards. Do the math. That’s 187 town hall meetings per year, or a meeting in Tennessee every other day for 16 years, including weekends, holidays, vacations, and time spent running for president in 1988 and for vice president in 1992. Now, Gore never specifically claimed that he was actually at all of the Town Hall meetings, but it certainly sounds like he is trying to imply that he was there when he states that he learned a great deal from 3,000 meetings! Special exception for Clinton. "I seek this office to restore the rule of law and respect for common sense to the White House." ... "Americans in every region and in both political parties have been shaken by the betrayal of public trust ... and the dishonesty of the public officials."... "Any government official who ... lies to the United States Congress will be fired immediately." Gore must be talking about the standards he'd apply to a Republican White House. Gore Loves Courtney Love. Finding himself talking to the controversial rock star Courtney Love at a Hollywood party, Mr. Gore attempted to charm her by telling her he was a fan. Rather than just accepting the easy compliment, Love cross-examined him. "He goes 'I'm a really big fan'," said Love. "And I was like 'Yeah, right. Name a song, Al'." The answer came limply back: "I can't name a song, I'm just a really big fan." Mr. Gore and his wife, Tipper, were the driving forces behind the campaign to make record companies put stickers on records that contained lyrics with sexually explicit content. Left-wing idiot. Back in 1994, Al Gore called Oliver North "the colonel of untruth" and said Mr. North was counting on political contributions from "the extra-chromosome right wing." He can't use a computer? Pete Talek, a U.S. Steel employee speaking with Al Gore: "I am a few credits shy of earning a master's degree and could use federal funds to help defray tuition costs because he also is putting a daughter through community college. "I worked with a 14-inch pipe wrench for years and a coal shovel." Adding that he since has added a computer keyboard to the list of tools he can now use. "Gore smiled and admitted that he, too, has trouble turning on a computer - let alone using one." Where am I again? Al Gore visited Minneapolis Minnesota on October 12, 1998 and raised several hundred thousand dollars for DFL gubernatorial nominee Hubert Humphrey III and two Democratic congressmen. Too bad he forgot which state he was in. Gore misspoke when he tried to summarize their commitment to education. "They will be the education team that Missouri needs to move into the 21st century." Does this mean he'd fire Clinton? "My first pledge will be to restore integrity to the White House. And I'll fire anyone who has lied to the American people or the United States Congress." The earth is upside down! In the spring 1998 - Gore called The Washington Post's executive editor to tip him off on an ''error'' in the paper. ''I decided I just had to call because you've printed a picture of the Earth upside down on the front page of the paper,'' Gore said. Gore loves tobacco. "Throughout most of my life, I raised tobacco. I want you to know that with my own hands, all of my life, I put it in the plant beds and transferred it. I've hoed it. I've dug in it. I've sprayed it, I've chopped it, I've shredded it, spiked it, put it in the barn and stripped it and sold it. Oh wait.. I didn't mean that... "Sometimes, you never fully face up to things that you ought to face up to." -- Al Gore, discussing why he accepted checks from his family tobacco farm and contributions from tobacco companies for years after the tragic death of his sister that he spoke about so emotionally at the 1996 Democratic convention. ------------------ Long Live The Catomic Bomb. DON'T TRADE DOTEL!
Al Gore absolutely, positively, without a doubt, sucks imo. Bush would've won Florida by a landslide if the gag-me liberals Dan Rather and Peter Jennings would have waited for confirmation before projecting Florida Gore's. ------------------ Long Live The Catomic Bomb. DON'T TRADE DOTEL!
