Types of guys you will always find playing pick-up ball

The worst is when this guys is on your side. In HS I had one of these that has always stuck with me because of the shock and annoyance. He was all about dribbles and drives. At one point he drives in and I am close to the basket on the right side in the box, trying to position myself againt another guy for a rebound. Dude with the ball goes up, does some crazy arm movements, and throws the ball at me - while I am pretty much sideways and looking up at the rim to track the ball with a bigger defender on my back.

Obviously, I didn't catch it and then the guy spent about 5 minutes laughing at me, hanging on guys from the other team to make fun of the white guy (I was the only one on the court). Yeah, that was a good time.

 

The "Damn guys, sorry I'm off today" but still keeps on shooting and repeating that statement guy.

 

How about: Guy who always volunteers his team to be "skins"

No *******, I don't want to take my shirt off. I'm perfectly capable of telling who my teamates are without them having to take their shirts off. :grin:

 

The I-Wanna-Impress-because-there-is-alot-of-people-in-the-park-tonight guy.

 

Yup. The last time I was on an outdoor court it was 1 on 1 versus "Buzzed Baller". Who became Shirtless Guy. Who became Sweaty Guy. Who became Plays Football While Playing Baskeball Guy.

So not only was he intoxicated and giving praises to his beverages, he had to put his body into me so I could feel the maximum effect off his booze seeping out his pores onto me. Along with the scent of it. And no, bro, I never played ball..."on WEEED?"

He brought a hot girl with him at least (yes I tried to get pic proof, but my camera really sucked)

 

Yup. Basketball is fun, no gets paid to play on the court so no big deal. Its when they make a total mockery of it and take out all the sportsmanship thats irritating.

And yup, Falls Alot Guy gets annoying. Variations of Falls Alot Guy is

- Slides On The Floor After Every Layup Guy. This is the dude in junior high everytime he went up for a shot had to do some dramatic cinematic slide on his butt into the wall or backstop like its a show of "giving it his all", like he's auditioning for Hoosiers 2. Its to get some ooohs out the crowd, or to make it look good in front of the girls like he's going through "adversity". This guy goes on to be a standard flopper.

- Bear Hugs Every Loose Ball Guy - This is the guy who has no discreetness on the court when its taking possession of the ball away from the opponent. This might a be short squatty guy possibly with tube socks or rec specs, possibly wearing shirt and shorts that look more like everyday "casual" clothes instead of regular basketball gear. If there's even a slight loss of dribble handling or slightest not securing of the ball, this guy will DIVE right into it like you're a thief stealing away his safe with his retirement savings in it. Like his family will go hungry that night if the doesnt grasp control of the ball. (And he probably didnt get any passes to him the whole game, so this is his only time to even sniff the ball, poor guy).

 

I hate "Guy who doesn't like to get someone else's sweat on him so he acts repulsed and grossed out".

Seriously?? Dude, this is a sport. We are going to sweat. We are going to smell. We are going to sweat all over each other and we are going to smell each other.

If you don't want my sweat on you when we are guarding each other, then go home and play grab ass or something.

War shirts and skins.

 

I think you have it the other way around bro.

I think the worst is the guy who plays with a chip on his shoulder. Similar players have been mentioned on here, but this guy plays like the game is some therapeutic stress reliever and it's okay for him to go ape-**** on someone who jukes him out or fakes a shot that he goes for, or overall makes him look like less than a superstar player.

He often times is also an incessant trash talker and an over-dribbling ball hog... the one I have witnessed was also a short guy who willingly chose to guard a taller guy who wasn't as much of a ball-player, but only did it so that he could basically embarrass the poor guy... I then told the taller guy to not shoot his layups with such obviousness, and to try faking the first time... short dude goes up for the monster block, tall guy fakes him out seamlessly, and then gets the bucket. Short dude then proceeds to yell profanities and make a bunch of white jokes directed to said tall guy, because he knew he was totally exposed and was not gonna be able to redeem himself after all the trash he talked.

 

The guy who keeps slapping my a s s, regardless of the disinterest I show in his enthusiasm.

Keep your hand away from other peoples lower half!

 

So I'm curious...where does everyone play exactly?

I workout at Life Time Fitness in Sugar Land, but I haven't actually hooped there in a while.

 

Cluthfans has a pickup game most weekends. If you want to meet those type of people, we have them.


If it's full court, I'm usually guy sitting back waiting to play defense cause no one will pass me the ball on offense guy. You're basically playing 4 on 5.


Also I'm that dude that can't shoot good, but hits the shot when there is a foul or stoppage in play.

 

I'm talking about ten year olds that think they are too good to play in their own division and instead try to fit in with the 18-20 year olds.

There is a limit...

Anyways, chill your boner. No need to incite an argument when there is no clear reason to...

 

I'm the honest player. 14 up, honoring late calls,excessive calls(as in hey we got next call, we're not shooting for ****), honoring the reach,(you're hand is part of the ball) honoring the fade, stumbling through a double stagger from 24 feet into cotton, touche. Long rebound though, as I snatch the board with one arm briskly surveying the court, my turn. Wait, what?

 

the doesnt cut his fingernail guy that cuts and scratches u is the worst
then comes the sloppy hairy sweaty guy thats drenched with intentions of drenching you

then there a few pretty bad ones

one that hasnt been mentioned, the almost nothing on guy, no shirt and the shorter than john stockton daisy dukes guy, and if hes also the guy that must try to grind on u ... time for you to turn into the jump shot guy/offensive foul via push off guy lol

another is the way way too serious/always arguing/"i have a gun in the car guy"... hes actually the worst but hes pretty rare and generally drunk or high so he can be dealt with

the roid rage/mad at the world guy is always fun to lol

this thread cracked me up

 

The guy who acts shocked and bewildered every time he misses a shot or makes a mistake like it's an extremely rare occurrence even though he just truly is not very good.

Like Michael Scott on the basketball episode of The Office: "What is wrong with me todaaaaaayyyyyy!!!!"

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Not sure if it's been mentioned, but dribble while looking down guy. I guess he fits in with black hole guy, but generally he would pass to the open man if he could see him.

I guess I'd fall into the serious pickup guy category. Being on the shorter size and not really athletic, you have to make up for it with effort. However I turn into just out there and running around guy, if I'm playing with wannabe AND1 guys.

I would say I hate the reach in with nails guy the most, because they turn into poke my eye and knock out my contacts guy about once every time I play.

 

How about the guy who is high, but still ballin as if by himself.

 

this is hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!