What a great journey, as that's what this is, and I'm sure there are numerous people reading your testimony who will hopefully benefit from it. Carpe Diem!!
Great story and recommendation for people going through what you have. I never would have thought to suggest traveling. Nothing can match those experiences or give you the same enlightenment from seeing the world or meeting new people.
Well, he did go to Russia. Kudos to you, faust! Keep moving, keep growing. Try and see/do/learn something new every day.
Every year the world is becoming a smaller and smaller place. It is much more comfortable to live abroad than it ever has been before. Hell I remember being in China watching one of the Kyle Lowry Rockets teams play the Kobe-Pau Lakers dynasty team real close, around noon or so haha. I had to go to a Western part of town to do it, and the drinks in the bar I was at were relatively expensive. Now I could go to Singapore or Hong Kong and just get freaking MLB.tv and NBA League Pass. The world is a marvelous place. If you are not inspired by your surroundings, by all means consider becoming an ex-pat. People in the East love Americans, and it's not like there was anything for you here in this corner of the country.
Faust, the glow of your discovery is currently at the forefront but these feelings will fade with time as you return to your original situation. Please do not ignore the underlying issues that initially led you to consider ending your life. We need you. Good luck and take care.
Good for you man. Great points about traveling. However, I'm not throwing away my THX certified Panasonic Plasma TV!
Incredible story. As Rashmon suggested, please don't stop discovering what is the connection between how you felt before and how you feel now. What is it about travelling that made you feel different? It seems as though you've discovered something about yourself by going somewhere else, and that's not uncommon. People are not what they appear to be on tv. They are not whatever they are within a certain radius of you. Those things tend to disconnect you from other human beings, which typically creates a void in a person's life. By travelling, I feel like you've reconnected with other people and that's a great feeling.
The underlying issue was being disowned by my family and friends and losing my cultural identity as a Christian white supremacist. After taking all that away there was only emptiness left. What to believe? How to live? That was all I had knew since birth till I started questioning a lot of it and in the end rejected it so they rejected me. I used to go to Church, watch TV and listen to talk radio, and post in a forum for people like me. It felt good because all of us were on the same page. If something happened it could be explained by what we believed in. We were the chosen and everyone else was inferior and trying to keep us down. Except it was wrong. Traveling saved me whenever I got lost in crowded places like Piccadilly Circus, Champs-Élysées, or Shibuya Crossing. It's like being afraid of taking a cold shower but then you fall into a river and over a waterfall. You just have to let go and see where it all goes. You realize you're a small piece in a bigger thing that carries all of us. So many voices, so many faces, so many ways to dress, etc. I'd accidentally follow someone because I was lost. Some person would meet another at a restaurant, another went to a bookstore, another went to an apartment. The blurred face in the crowd all of a sudden had their own story, as rich as any of the others. If you were high enough you could see where they all went and intersected. Things which I'd been taught to hate before like Homosexuals, Socialism, Moslems, Hispanics, Science, Art were the opposite. I saw all this stuff up close and was blown by how I was brainwashed like when sitting in a bullet train in Japan, my uncle said it crashed a lot and an example that foreign govts and science couldn't build decent things. I'm really close to packing up and leaving the 2nd Ward for somewhere else like Spacemoth said. I really appreciate the positive comments by everybody. Right now I'm just seeing the leaves blowing outside and I feel happy.
Terrific story. Traveling is a great way to experience the world and see for yourself that there's much much more out there than those few factors which can bring you down to the point of depression or suicide. I'm sorry that a small amount of closed-minded people had become such a negative influence. There's nothing wrong in taking yourself away from all that and building yourself up personally. Be sure to secure your finances first if possible and then do what you want with your life. There's many amazing places to travel inside North America as well, such as a trip up the west coast, Seattle/Vancouver or venture to Toronto/Niagra Falls/Montreal. You'll see the different walks of life and it'll continue to inspire you to hopefully do something great. Best of luck and yes, we certainly are here for you on this board
It goes way way beyond the USA. Glad to hear things have turned around OP! Keep it up, life is grand! I had some low points in my life, the worst thing I could have done was give up. Good luck with everything! It's always great to get away from the norm every now and then.
Good for you, OP. I'm glad you were able to experience different cultures and it opened your perspective. That explains some of your posts in the D&D, which I never really agreed with. Continue to grow and expand your horizons. Best of luck to you.
Amazing story. Glad traveling has helped you realize the world surrounding you. It's a beautiful world around us.
Great OP, Faust. I feel the same way about the impact of travel on one's life. You put it very eloquently. Stay well!
