Today I'm grilling....Post your best burger recipe.

We're gonna pull together and make this burger! First, we gotta :::gator chomp:::

 

Haha, sorry Dude! So, I usually go for some chopped onion, chopped jalapeño (or habanero if really wanting a kick), some light amount of cayenne pepper, some Worcestershire sauce not crazy amount maybe 1-2 tablespoons, and a little salt and black pepper (this last part could probably could be subbed for some type of Hamburger/steak seasoning etc, so you could maybe skip salt and pepper, but I really like pepper). Also definitely adjust the amount of ingredients based on amount your preparing etc.

Use grill steps above, I normally get the meat rolled up into balls with ingredients (depending on amount of meat etc adjust for how much seasoning you like from above) and then you make them into roughly 1/3-1/2.lb patties. Don't go over because it makes it difficult to get it at that medium-rare/medium-well etc. Lastly let the meat get room temp while you're firing up the grill (might take a little longer for this to happen depending on meat temp). Ideally room temp (similar to steak) cooks a lot better.

Then for cheese, if you like it, add a slice of monterey jack, Colby, or pepper jack at the end. And remember only flip once, haha. I usually do a few mins one side until.you get a light crust, flip about same time, add cheese over last 30 seconds/min and you're set.

Sometimes if I want more kick I'll add a little bit of that crazy hot sauce into meat process, but that's roughly a drop or 2 maybe mixed w/ the w. sauce before adding to meat

 

I marinate the patties overnight in a mixture of 1 raw egg, 2 tablespoons of human sperm and some italian dressing. Add sea salt and ground pepper before throwing on a hot grill and only turning once.

 

OMFG I am absolutely beside myself with these two posts. This wins the internet for today. strong work fellas

 

I'm pretty boring. I use McCormick's Onion Steakhouse seasoning as my go to seasoning. You could always make a Juicy Lucy, which is an extra thick burger with cheese on the inside of the burger, which melts on cooking. You can also go crazy with toppings--I just had a breakfast burger for lunch with an egg, hash brown, and bacon on it. Last week I had a burger topped with sausage gravy: now THAT was good. But who knows if that qualifies as crazy. As far as I can tell, only the sperm burger so far is crazy. As in cray cray craaazy.

 

Lol, the sperm burger, holy **** that's more than cray cray honestly it started out normal maybe he didn't mean sperm, hahah.. Or.. I'll make sure I don't have any burgers with him!!

Breakfast burger/sausage gravy hmm.... Sounds tasty!!

 

On a side note, when the Rockets win the chip and there's a meet up, 2k will not be allowed to cook

 

I give you the Nacho Slider...from Rachel Ray's Top 12 Slider ideas
http://www.rachaelraymag.com/recipe/nacho-slider-size-burgers



And here's Rachel Ray's 7-Layer Dip Slider
http://www.rachaelraymag.com/recipe/7-layer-sliders



No Huevos Rancheros Slider with a Fried Egg on top, though.

 

Kill a deer and a pig
Butcher deer and pig
Trim pork belly
Cure and smoke pork belly
Grind 4 parts venison to 1 part pork trimmings/fat
Fry bacon
Grill burger
Saute onions and peppers in bacon grease
Melt slice of jack or havarti on burger
Serve on kaiser roll

Probably more attainable:

Go to your favorite Mexican market, acquire quality chorizo and bolillos (torta bread)
Add chorizo to ground beef (3 or 4 parts beef to chorizo, depending on how lean the beef is)
Make patty oval shaped so it fits the bun
Put a smear of refried/mashed beans on bottom bun
Top with avocado, pico and queso

Greek burger

Mix in some ground lamb with your beef (not necessary but tasty)
Top with feta, baby spinach, pepperoncinis, tomato, onion

 

Places that sell dry-aged steaks will often sell/give away dry aged beef scraps if you ask. That's probably my favorite type of meat to grind down into a burger (you can just chop it fine if you don't have a grinder), since it gives the burger that funky, beefy dry-aged steak flavor. Just season with S&P and maybe some Worcestershire.

 

If you get good quality beef then leave it the hell alone. Salt and pepper, sear the outside and med rare on the inside.

 

http://www.foodnetwork.com/videos/altons-burger-of-the-gods-0170181

 

I use a similar approach as CCity Zero and others... salt, fresh cracked pepper, a bit of garlic powder, Worcestershire sauce. I am a big fan of bacon on my burgers so not much more needed to flavor the meat.

One helpful tip I follow... along with avoiding squeezing the moisture out of the patties by overhandling, I push a small indention in the top center which prevents the burger from expanding. Also creates a nice well for the Worcestershire sauce. Don't over grill and you will have agreat place to place your bacon on.

I agree that better burgers are cooked on a hot skillet though, just finish with steam under a lid with a bit of water on the skillet.

 

Can dog sperm be used as a substitute? Need to know ASAP.

 

I can't grill at my apartment but these are better than anything I have ever made on a grill. Put it on a toasted and buttered bun with the classic toppings and homemade aioli/mayo or make it as a patty melt and I am in heaven. Don't knock these until you try it.

http://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2014/03/ultra-smashed-cheeseburger-recipe-food-lab.html



Also the H-E-B Prime brisket blend burger is awesome! I just wish they sold the blend fresh instead of frozen and pre-formed only.