...let's talk about people who just need to be dragged out and shot. 1) Guys who wear dress slacks with sandals. Evidence of some sort of internal struggle, where the legs say, "Please, take me seriously as an adult" while the feet insist, "Shoes are just a tool of the capitalist overlords, man". While I appreciate your attempt at being one of the 1200 remaning men in America who don't wear shorts to work, the lack of follow-through below the ankles undermines the effort. 2) Morbidly obese people. What is the point? They just suck up food and resources and gross the rest of us out. 3) The Perenially Cheerful. The rest of us detest the phony, sunshine-on-a-cloudy-day attitude. Example: Perenially Cheerful Dolt (smiling, trying to get me to high-five him): "HEYYYYYYYYY Brian, whaaaasup? How was your weekend?" Brian: "Not good. The tests came in-- it isn't leukemia, it's a flesh-eating bacterial infection. I only have 24 hours to live, but I couldn't get the day off from work so I'm stuck here." Perenially Cheerful Dolt (grinning widely, making a shadow-boxing punch motion at my arm): "That's great! Hey, I'll check you later, bro!" 4) Idiots Who Use Corporate Lingo. **** you, and **** your paradigms, your synergy, the box you try to think outside of, and your cheese (yeah, I moved it-- I teabagged it, dropped it on the floor, and kicked it under your desk). 5) People who use acronyms that contain more syllables than the phrase being abbreviated. Statement of Work: four syllables. S.O.W: five syllables. People who say the latter: idiots. 6) People who cannot answer a question without first making a joke. When I ask you if you have a moment, I don't want to hear "No, but I've got 60 seconds" or "Not in this lifetime!" or "Just a minute, I'm lancing a boil on my ass". You either do or do not have time to talk to me, and if the answer's no, then stop wasting my time trying to be clever. 7) The Peripherally Oblivious. Hey, ******-- you, standing sideways in front of me, blocking my way in the aisle at the grocery store. Beep beep, mother****er. Let me pass. The Cheezits will still be there eight seconds from now. 8) People who make long, aggrieved lists about how other people should be shot. 9) Hikers on mountain-bike trails. Hiking. You p*****s. Walk to the Nut Store and buy a pair. I'm sure I'll think of more. Society is constantly failing to live up to my lofty expectations of it.
i can't agree more with #2 and $4... my old job had people who were both combined! ugh, to hear them say "We need to reformat the template for test documentation and analysis to better suit the efficiency of our technical writers" with doughnut bits flying out of their mouths was truly disgusting! ugh, i hated them!
Don't forget about Blaine, Klye, Chad, and Cameron. Vinnie, Johnny, Mickey, and Joe would kick their ass*s anyday of the week.
The bit about doing something really naughty to Mickey Mouse with a big rubber <object> was my favorite part of that particular show
What? Is it really that common to wears shorts to work? Since when? I gotta start being more pro-active if I want to know what the current dress code is.
it is in the tech industry... at my job we would wear shorts, ballcaps, t-shirts, sandals, hawaiian shirts, jeans, basically anything went! it was GREAT! i wore my backwards Astros cap to work regularly! no dress code for us software engineers! woo hoo!
Do you make commercial software? I'm also a software engineer, but noone wears that kind of stuff where I work. I could wear shorts if I wanted to, but I don't see the backwards Astros cap lasting very long.
One of the 30,000+ victims. But hey look on the bright side - you got to wear shorts, sneakers, and your cap backwards.
Carlin on freeway driving: Anyone driving slower than you is an idiot, and anybody driving faster than you is crazy! so true.
yes, and the freedom eventually ended in my ability to wear those clothes while sitting at home in front of my computer surfing the clutchcity BBS all day
