In Asia, tipping is considered a dire and demeaning insult at a restaurant. Trust me, I know, my mother is Japanese and when I was kid, I asked my grandparents when we were in Japan visiting relatives why they didn't tip in restaurants when we were over there. My grandfather told me that their custom is totally different than America. So please, whatever you do, if they refuse it, don't make a bad situation worse by trying to guilt them into taking it.
Well, according to my father, it wasn't like they abhor tips. Just that those waitresses were very "simple" (any better words?) people who grew up in rural areas, and felt shy about accepting money for "nothing". It wasn't like they felt insulted or something. In the end, everyone (including the waitresses) was happy and smiling. No problem. And got some friendly goodbye waves from the waitresses after the nice dinner. Well, I am an Asian. And bamaS, I think this statement is way too exaggerated. In most countries in Asia, tipping is not considered an insult. Just that waitresses don't work for the tip, and don't expect any. Most will happily accept a tip (some might even tell you it is not required). My father just happened to travel to a rural area with shy waitresses. But I admit that I don't know about Japan specifically though.
I admit I was generalizing, but in Japan, as far as my experience (I used to visit with my parents and grandparents at least once every couple of years up until I joined the military), tipping was not something you did, ever. I should've rephrased that to strictly Japan. Sorry.
TJ, The worst dining experience of your life wasn't too bad. When I was in middle school I went to a steakhouse for my birthday with the family. I had a basketball game later that evening, but we went to dinner with about an hour and forty-five minutes before I needed to show up. We ordered and everything seemed to be normal. Our drinks were delivered along with our bread. Then the waiting began. Every once in a while, starting about 30 minutes after we ordered, we would ask after our food, only to be reassured by our server that it would probably be done any minute. About 2 hours after ordering, we complained to the manager. Our idiot waitress had never even turned in our order until about 5 minutes before this time (1:55 after the order). Needless to say we were treated to a free meal. Unfortunately, I didn't get to my game until halftime. It was a messed up way to spend my birthday.
1/2 hour to complain to waitress. 2 hours to complain to manager. I think the family didn't want to ruin my birthday, just like TJ didn't want to ruin someone's going away party.
Trader_Jorge was remarkably patient and I commend him for staying calm because he did not want to ruin his friend's going away dinner. Rocket River, I respect that you thought about what TJ pointed out because it is exactly true - if you can go out to eat, you can also afford to give at least a decent tip. I wish you had taken the time to think about what you posted in the windshield thread as well. bamaslammer, it really sounds like the waiter made way too much of a fuss. I understand Rockets Pimp's perspective of "when in doubt, defend the waiter, since I can put myself in their shoes" but there are different ways of taking care of a situation like this and embarrassing the guest should not be one of them.
That's interesting. I wonder why that is. Maybe we need to start a separate tipping thread with a poll? Anybody, Anybody?
The other extreme of course is AUTOMATIC GRATUITY. In Miami they do this. In restaurants (nice ones) and bars that you order bottles at your table, they simply add 20% to the value of the bill as their tip. So if they treat you great or like sh*t, 20%. Their only goal is to make your bill higher. For example you order a AB Mandarin-Red Bull and they bring you mandarin in one glass and the can of red bull so they can charge you more. NOW That is annoying!!
Maybe he was watching you closely, maybe he wasn't. Regardless, you got caught doing something where the waiter could have been fined. I'm not a hovering waiter, but if I had seen her take a drink I would have called you out too. Why should someone have to risk a couple thousand dollar fine just because you want to give your girl a sip of your drink? Sorry I overreacted, I just hate when people make lame excuses for why they didn't take care of their server. Being mad at the manager is one thing, but the server was just protecting his ass. You being a former server should know better. Actually I do quite well. I have a regular full time job and wait tables on the side generally making an extra $300/wk working aan extra 15 hours/wk.
No insult taken at all and apology accepted. Also I think I owe you an apology for being such a jerk. I understand your point and I wasn't trying to provoke you.
Thank you and I did. contrary to popular belief i do listen and analyze what folx say . . then take what I feel is relevent . . and leave the flotsam Poverty was *A* reason but not the *only* reason maybe not even the *OVERWHELMING* reason As for the windsheild thing . . .i did think on it. It is the SLANT that it was given .. that irratated me reminded me of so many other situations were the Slant made all the difference Rocket River
Why don't you get off the windshield thing. Are you now going to label Rocket River because of one thread, yet you want Rocket River to move on. Pot to Kettle " You're black"
Oh my goodness. I was away from the board for about a week and just now read the windshield thread. That was the biggest meltdown (by RocketRiver) that I have seen since Another Brother's Warren Sapp tirade. WOW.
Oh MY GOD.... I agree with TJ on this one. Sorry but if you can't afford to tip, McDonald's is calling your name. 10% for decent service? That is WEAK!
Here's what I don't understand (and I'm not defending the waitress at all here...I'll assume that T_J is telling the truth and not exaggerating). How is talking to management any more disrupting to the party than the waitress herself? I've talked to management about bad service or undesirable food on a few occasions, and it's never disrupted or ruined the dining experience.
