hold up . . . WHERE THE HELL ARE YA'LLs friends??!?!?!?!?!?!?! MAKE SOME F*CKING FRIENDS Home alone is kewl SOMETIMES but you gotta hang with ya boys Trust me. . . You alot bolder in a group than alone Add some Alcohol and you are Don Jaun if you are not YOU DON'T FRICKIN CARE My point is . .. don't go to a bar to meet women/men GO TO HAVE A GOOD TIME I think the concentration on the loneness and not making a mistake is what kills you BE YA FRICKING SELF If she don't like. . . F*CK THAT TRAMP Move on . . she beneath you anyway I love being Single. . I enjoy myself I do what I want . .. when i want. Take what you like. . . find gatherings of like people and hang out there. . . I like comic books. . met some kewl chicks at conventions [SOME THAT WERE ACTUALLY ATTRACTIVE!!!] that way YOU KNOW you have something in common [don't get pissed cause she thinks superman and beat thor ;-)] You at a college their are literally hundreds of orgs on campus find one that suits you and your interest. . . . EVERY ORG has some women in it or around it. . . .[vice versa for women] If you at home alone. . and don't like it. . . I have to be brutal . . but you not trying you not compromising . . .and guess what NO COMPROMISE . . .NO MARRIAGE Rocket River
Cool....I didn't know orgies were so common on campus these days. I would hope they comprise of some women. An orgy of all guys...that's disgusting.
You have to make a choice... Commitment or new p***y? When you're sick, who's gonna take care of you? Ya gotta go back to commitment! When you're hungry, who's gonna feed you? NEW p***y CAN'T COOK! Who's gonna teach your children how to read? NEW p***y'S ILLITERATE!
Being single is great even when you're not! Nah just kidding. Life is great single or not, thats all that really matters! Amazing how things work out for some people and they have a wonderful marriage OR some people do nothing but argue and hate their marriage. Damn, who knows?! BTW, wheres Dr of Dunk in this thread?!
I think it depends on what you want. I have married friends who tell me they're jealous of me, since I'm single and have the freedom to chase tail all the time. Which I would agree with, if that were my personality. But at my age, I am much more interested in a stable, committed relationship than I am in a fling or flings plural. The fact that I suck at chatting up girls I don't know does not help, either. Being single does not fulfill me the way being in a serious relationship does. But it does allow me the freedom to change and improve myself in ways that I don't think are necessarily possible within a relationship. I miss my ex-girlfriend tremendously, but my life has improved dramatically since she and I broke up. And, it's done so in ways that would not have been possible if she and I had stayed together. I am enjoying single life, being sober, being back in shape, improving myself, etc etc. But I will also not have any regrets when my next serious relationship starts and I can wake up with a beautiful young woman, who I love, next to me again.
oh yeah, and some girls I've gone out with, broken up for whatever reason and they are seeing another guy 6 weeks later or sooner?! Damn, I know there are reasons for breaking up and all that but geeez, SOME WOMEN CANNOT GO WITHOUT A PARTNER, SEXUAL OR OTHERWISE. Whats up with that?!?!?!?!
I'm 33 and just ended a long engagement. Time and distance killed the relationship: she's Japanese, and, although I would have lived there, her job track would probably keep her going to various other countries...and I finally decided I couldn't follow her like a piece of luggage. It's tough because until it became clear she wasn't happy in Japan and didn't really want to be in the States (not at the moment, anyway), we were really in love. A perfect match (well, my Japanese isn't so good, but thankfully her English is). Cultural differences (mainly family on both sides working behind the scenes to undermine a relationship) are also no help. My problem? It's taken a long time to overcome a certain shyness, I guess. Plus, foreign women are more interesting to me (four years in Italy during my military service instilled this in me). In many respects, I'm not the typical American guy. Believe me, I had no culture shock when I went to Italy, but I did when I came back to the States. For example: I met this Brazilian girl (I speak Portuguese, so I thought, YES!, I'm in there!) She's calm, collected (two non-Brazilian traits, believe me), creative, very pretty...and so damned busy and focused on her studies that I can't be more than a blip on her radar. And yet I also met this girl (American, apple-pie), we're friends, she's nice, pretty, but I think when she finds a relationship she'll want it to be permanent...and I don't; not now. In the wake of my long-term relationship (which included a lot of time apart), I'm gearing up to get my higher degrees....so I'll have to be patient; get a girlfriend? or just get laid? The first option is nice but until I'm more settled, the relationship would, inevitably, end; so will I find one that will even start? The second option? Hey, I have needs like anyone, but bars and inane conversation? No thanks. I'm trying to be optimistic and, as I said, patient. Breaking up with my fiancee made me take stock of everything. Rather than follow someone else, I have to follow my own path and hopefully, in time, I'll find someone to walk it with me (yuck! somebody call Hallmark, maybe I can coin that phrase). What KAGY wrote is true with me, too: I miss my ex-fiancee, but now I can improve myself in ways that I couldn't during the relationship. And things, in time, will turn.
Well, Greezy, I knew somebody would ask, but I never thought it would be YOU! I find this whole thing about having to be around somebody, having to get married, having to have children, having to have a house, etc. weird. I think society and culture puts all these stipulations on us and everybody just "follows the Joneses". I've never had the need to get married. I've thought about getting married, but have never gotten serious about it. Every guy I talk to seems to think it's a whipping. I have co-workers who say it has its good sides, but they tell me to stay single and that it was nothing like they had planned. Why am I single? I love the freedom. I like being able to get up whenever the hell I want, buy whatever I want, do whatever I want (provided it's legal...hehe), etc. without having to consult with anyone. I like being able to save money at a ridiculous clip (this is what I get the most grief about from co-workers). If I need to save more, I do it. If I want to splurge, I do it. I like the thought of being able to retire in my 40's and travel the world, and who knows, maybe hook up with somebody then... I'm not putting down marriage at all. I think it would be great if it works out. I just am not the type of person who thinks it's a "try before you buy" thing. I think it should be final and not end up in divorce every 2 years. Marriage today in this society is a mockery of everything it should be. There's no difference between marriage and having a boyfriend or girlfriend nowadays except when it comes tax time. I just don't think men understand women and I don't think women understand men. Here's an example : When I'm at work, I get asked to go to a topless bar for lunch. I sometimes wonder if guys that ask me this ever think about their wives as they're asking. Why on earth do you need to go to a topless bar when you have a wife, and many times, kids at home? Are you just admitting that your wife just isn't enough or that you're bored with her? I finally asked one of these guys that and here's the honest-to-God answer I received : "Having a wife is like looking at the same Playboy for years. It's the same stuff that excited you early on, but damn, it's the same stuff, over and over... you get bored". I find that disgusting. I mean what the hell does marriage mean to you when you're going to watch... blah blah... nevermind, I'm getting agitated. I decided in my mid-20's that life was too damn short to be adding responsibilities, frustrations, etc. to it. I like the simple life with few worries. I also like the freedom of being single. I like being able to move whenever I want as my job or tastes dictate. I like the fact that when I have to make a decision, that decision is made based upon "me" and not a compromise. Part of the reason I'm never bored being single is because I have a lot of hobbies or just keep myself busy. I can't stand sitting in front of a tv all day/night - that's when I get bored. I also found out from dating in my 20's that women make the absolute best friends. Most of my friends that I care the most about are women. However, once you get into a relationship with them, all hell breaks loose... things just change. I don't want that... I like 'em when they're nice and friendly. For those of you that are married and have kids, more power to ya. Make it work because I hear it's a beautiful thing when it does. It's just not for me... at least not now.
Unrelated to the topic at hand but I have to throw in on this comment: Brilliant. I agree 100%. My number one goal right now, the one that affects everything I do, is to be completely financially independent. I want to get to where I've got around 12 months of expenses saved up. Just imagine how much freedom that buys you.
Boy, I'm exactly opposite. I hate to move. I plan on buying a house early next year (if not before. I'm moderately active in looking currently), and once I buy, I'm going to go ahead and dig a hole in the backyard to bury me in when I die.
I was single until the age of 30, and have now been married almost 8 years. There are pros and cons to both. Personally, I love being married, and having kids, it makes life so much more rewarding then when I was single and had no one to really share lifes ups and downs with. I would not trade being married for being single today, but I did enjoy my single time. I just think it is up to the person you meet and the restrictions or lack thereof you put on each other. I have a great and understanding wife whom I share a commitment that is unbelievably fulfilling. Being a husband and father are the most precious things in my life, I would not trade that for all the freedom in the world. Not to mention as you get older, more of your friends get married and it becomes increasingly difficult to even get in a round of golf.....but not when you are married.....I don't understand how that works....ah well. DaDakota
Paradoxically, according to statistics, men are more likely to remarry after divorce or the death of a spouse, and they are more likely to do it faster than women. Also, men enjoy health benefits from marriage. This from the New England Centenarian Study conducted by Harvard Medical School: Trading in your bachelor pad could add years to your existence. Married men in their 50s, 60s and 70s have lower mortality rates than their unmarried counterparts, according to a 22-year study conducted by RAND Center for Aging. They contribute this to care in times of illness, improved nutrition and a home atmosphere that reduces stress, encourages healthy behaviors and discourages unhealthy ones such as smoking and excessive drinking. "Men tend to focus all of their social ability on their wives," Margery Silver, Ed. D said. "Because of this, they tend to remarry or die the year after they are widowed." The health of divorced men also suffers. By the time divorced men reach age 50, they can expect their health to deteriorate much faster than those who are married. But there's hope for these divorcees. Remarriage has direct health benefits for men in this age group, bringing their health up to the level of men who have stayed married, the study found.
Actually the study was done by a group of researchers, both male and female. If you're suggesting, however, that a woman skewed the results to make marriage seem more enticing to men, she did so at her own peril. Studies have found that women do not receive the same health benefits from marriage.
I fail to see how any study can be accurate, but I think marriage is as beneficial to each person as they make it. I was always under the impression that the reason that men die at an earlier age is that they finally get tired of the nagging and just go... DaDakota
Didn't you know Mrs. JB? We (aka The Whippers) are meant to *fool* men into marrying us, and then make their lives miserable ever afterwards. It doesn't seem that you and Jeff or Elvis and I are following these rules, since we actually appear to like our spouses. You know, as people. I read that study last year - it made sense to me, since women are mostly in charge of diet and housework, and have usually been 'trained' more thoroughly in healthy housekeeping; the converse, that women tend to become *un*healthier as a result of marriage, makes sense as well - we tend to have that 'second shift' of housework and childcare on top of our external jobs. Generally speaking. There are always exceptions, of course.
From a personal perspective, this study feels very accurate to me. My father was married again only months after my parents' divorce (he didn't start dating his wife now until after my parents separated). My mother is finally getting re-married after nearly 13 years of separation/divorce and I was surprised that she decided to do it. My aunt and uncle divorced about the same time as my parents. He's re-married. She's single. My mother's next-door-neighbor was married nearly 40 years to his first wife who passed away a number of years ago. He remarried within a couple of years. It happens a lot.
