1. Welcome! Please take a few seconds to create your free account to post threads, make some friends, remove a few ads while surfing and much more. ClutchFans has been bringing fans together to talk Houston Sports since 1996. Join us!

[The Onion] Yao Retirement Article

Discussion in 'Houston Rockets: Game Action & Roster Moves' started by Major Malcontent, Jul 19, 2011.

?

Is this article?

  1. Slanderous Untrue and Unfunny

    30 vote(s)
    33.7%
  2. Untrue but funny anyway

    20 vote(s)
    22.5%
  3. Kinda True

    17 vote(s)
    19.1%
  4. Onion writer will have to go into the witness protection program when the YOF's read this.

    22 vote(s)
    24.7%
  1. Major Malcontent

    Major Malcontent Contributing Member

    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2000
    Messages:
    3,177
    Likes Received:
    211
    http://www.onionsportsnetwork.com/articles/nation-to-always-remember-yao-mings-22point-8rebou,20934/

    HOUSTON—Since Yao Ming’s intention to retire from the NBA was first reported last Friday, basketball fans across the country have been reflecting on the player’s nine-year career, with nearly all of them agreeing the Rockets center will forever be remembered for his 22-point, 8-rebound performance against the Milwaukee Bucks during a regular season game in 2007.

    “It was just classic Yao,” said Rockets fan Nate Dula, adding that everything about the contest, from Yao’s softness on defense to his early foul trouble, would forever be part of NBA lore. “The 4-foot turnaround jump shots where his feet barely left the ground, the 9-for-22 shooting performance, the single offensive rebound. We were watching a legend in the making before our very eyes.”

    “Everyone knew it was a special night when he got dunked on by [6-foot-3 guard] Charlie Bell,” Dula added. “But when Bell did it again in the fourth quarter, that brought the night from great to unforgettable.”

    According to fans, Yao’s vintage performance ranks with some of the all-time greatest individual achievements in basketball, including Michael Jordan’s 63-point playoff game against the Celtics, Wilt Chamberlain’s 100-point night, and Magic Johnson’s baby sky hook to win Game 4 of the NBA Finals. Had Yao tallied more than one offensive rebound, fans said, it would have easily been the greatest performance in the history of the sport.

    Fans also cited Yao’s 4-for-7 shooting from the free-throw line and his complete vanishing act in the last five minutes of the game as evidence of his play during the midseason contest being “truly epic.”

    Moreover, many maintained that the game’s signature image—that of Yao Ming limping off the court following a second-quarter foot injury—would never be forgotten.

    “The way he awkwardly dunked with one hand so that it almost looked like he couldn’t jump high enough to dunk a basketball gave me chills,” Houston resident Gary Udall said of the 7-foot-6 Yao. “And, you have to think of the context, too. A regular season game in March with nothing on the line against the fifth-place Bucks? That’s when Yao really came into his own.”

    “I think he may have even led the Rockets in scoring that game,” Udall added. “Actually, wait, no. Tracy McGrady also had 22 points.”

    Though most fans agree Yao’s 22-point, 8-rebound effort against the Bucks was his greatest game, some argue the best was his 21-point, 6-rebound game against Charlotte in 2006; his 22-point, 6-rebound game against the Bulls in 2004; or his 22-point, 7-rebound game against Memphis in 2007. However, many contend that considering Yao was only two rebounds shy of a double-double and had only one blocked shot despite being a foot taller than nearly every player on the court, the Milwaukee game is the performance in which Yao the mere player became Yao the legend.

    In addition, Rockets fans claimed that when Yao wasn’t on the floor during the game, the crowd experienced that “classic, unspoken feeling” that dominated the entire Yao Ming era: the sense that maybe the team would be substantially better, more efficient, and, on the whole, more exciting without Yao on the court.

    “I was actually at the game,” said Joe Laskowski, removing the ticket stub he keeps in his wallet. “The energy of the crowd was… Well, it was nowhere close to how electric it was when Hakeem Olajuwon played for us. In fact, I think Kenny Smith was more fun to watch. And so was Steve Francis, when I come to think of it. Also Scottie Pippen, even though he was way past his prime when he joined the team. And then there’s Luis Scola, who is a pretty underrated player. Oh, you know, we had Barkley there for a bit. Drexler, too, of course, Clyde the Glide. Who else… Let me think here. Oh, yeah, Robert Horry. Big Shot Rob. That guy helped us win a couple titles.”

    “But none of those players can say they helped the Rockets reach the second round of the NBA playoffs before going down with a career-ending foot injury,” Laskowski continued. “Not one.”
     
  2. Commodore

    Commodore Contributing Member

    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2007
    Messages:
    30,960
    Likes Received:
    14,478
    now I know why Sports Dome got cancelled
     
  3. SamFisher

    SamFisher Contributing Member

    Joined:
    Apr 14, 2003
    Messages:
    58,869
    Likes Received:
    36,423
    onion sports has always been a weak link.
     
  4. highlander3128

    Joined:
    May 21, 2008
    Messages:
    741
    Likes Received:
    15
    I got to agree that a superstar must be blasted for 22 points and 6 or 7 rbs a game.
     
  5. RedRedemption

    RedRedemption Contributing Member

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2009
    Messages:
    32,470
    Likes Received:
    7,648
  6. CDrex

    CDrex Contributing Member

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2009
    Messages:
    5,988
    Likes Received:
    1,460
    Eh, there was a grain of funny buried in there somewhere, they just tried to do too much with it and it got stupid.
     
  7. napalm06

    napalm06 Huge Flopping Fan

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2008
    Messages:
    26,357
    Likes Received:
    29,516
    They took it too far, but at its core it's pretty funny and true.

    Still, it doesn't respect Yao, who as a person isn't worthy of a disrespectful article.
     
  8. Half Nelson

    Half Nelson Member

    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2010
    Messages:
    531
    Likes Received:
    19
    Poorly written...I didn't even crack a smile. I expect better from the Onion.
     
  9. Chris Jent MVP

    Joined:
    May 27, 2011
    Messages:
    966
    Likes Received:
    48
    racist onion writers can't tell the difference between YAO and YI

    shameful

    not just as a rockets fan, but as an AMERICAN i find this artice tasteless and embarassing.
     
  10. Chris Jent MVP

    Joined:
    May 27, 2011
    Messages:
    966
    Likes Received:
    48
    jvg made some jokes about yao that were actually funny. this onion article is a disgrace.
     
  11. napalm06

    napalm06 Huge Flopping Fan

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2008
    Messages:
    26,357
    Likes Received:
    29,516
    Humor isn't going to appeal to every audience, particularly when criticizing Yao on Clutchfans is going to go over like criticizing the pope on a Catholic message board.
     
  12. pgabriel

    pgabriel Educated Negro

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2002
    Messages:
    42,755
    Likes Received:
    2,988
    although i agree it was over the top, i wonder how this article gets play with fans around the rest of the league.
     
  13. across110thstreet

    across110thstreet Contributing Member

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2001
    Messages:
    12,721
    Likes Received:
    1,389
    ouch... it hurts Yao's legacy reading this. satire is satire but this is bad
     
  14. francis 4 prez

    francis 4 prez Contributing Member

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2001
    Messages:
    22,025
    Likes Received:
    4,552
    the problem is yao was too good for a "yao sucks" angle on his retirement. playing up his injury susceptibility could have been funnier i think. have teammate quotes about the time he almost lost an eye playing rock, paper, scissors or sprained an ankle during a power nap or something.
     
  15. Joshfast

    Joshfast "We're all gonna die" - Billy Sole
    Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Dec 9, 2001
    Messages:
    6,476
    Likes Received:
    2,068
  16. infinitidoug

    infinitidoug Member

    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2010
    Messages:
    1,219
    Likes Received:
    26
    oh crap, all of china's fury is gonna rain down upon the onion for this article. expected better satire from the onion
     
  17. pgabriel

    pgabriel Educated Negro

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2002
    Messages:
    42,755
    Likes Received:
    2,988
    guys i'm telling you this article maybe more well thought of around the league unfortunately. we love yao, but with lack of playoff success, he's not that well respected unfortunately.

    life's not fair.
     
  18. Shroopy2

    Shroopy2 Contributing Member

    Joined:
    Feb 16, 2003
    Messages:
    15,911
    Likes Received:
    1,594
    *fixed*

    I understand the aim of the article, and there's PLENTY TRUTH to it. Just the irony is even THOSE middling numbers PROBABLY makes Yao the 2nd best center in the NBA.

    It both shows lack of true centers in the game, and that Yao was still respectable considering the competition. And when Brook Lopez is putting up those numbers, fans want to trade half their team for him.
     
  19. Shroopy2

    Shroopy2 Contributing Member

    Joined:
    Feb 16, 2003
    Messages:
    15,911
    Likes Received:
    1,594
    Oh yeah, thats how they view it. There's already been PLAYER POLLS voting Yao the most OVERRATED player in the league, so they're having a chuckle. (Tracy McGrady's been voted there, too. So basically the whole Rockets team was overrated in the player's eyes)
     
  20. foo82

    foo82 Member

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2006
    Messages:
    923
    Likes Received:
    31

Share This Page

  • About ClutchFans

    Since 1996, ClutchFans has been loud and proud covering the Houston Rockets, helping set an industry standard for team fan sites. The forums have been a home for Houston sports fans as well as basketball fanatics around the globe.

  • Support ClutchFans!

    If you find that ClutchFans is a valuable resource for you, please consider becoming a Supporting Member. Supporting Members can upload photos and attachments directly to their posts, customize their user title and more. Gold Supporters see zero ads!


    Upgrade Now