On the speakerphone. But seriously, though: In "Goodbye, Toby", Pam discovers she's been accepted at Pratt Institute, an art and design school in New York City. She's been featured in the first episode of season 5 and only on speakerphone on episode 2.
oooooooooooohhhhhhhhh , so that's why CFO David Wallace hates the HR rep at corporate so much..... makes sense now
Little close to my post there, Tuna... what's your game? No, but seriously. My TV-heart aches every time someone messes with the 'Nard Dog.
The Angela comment about putting on weight I took as an in joke as the actress was preggers last year and still had a little of the baby weight at the start of the season, didn't think they were set up a plot point myself. I liked last nights episode thought it was pretty funny, esp. the scene at the restaurant and Michael with 2 lobster and a glass of wine.
I loved it. I thought the conference room scene was one of the best ever. The timing and the one liners were great. Here's the whole episode for those who asked: <object width="512" height="296"><param name="movie" value="http://www.hulu.com/embed/OS6iCAOEZtk9GYp6qnWcyA"></param><embed src="http://www.hulu.com/embed/OS6iCAOEZtk9GYp6qnWcyA" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="512" height="296"></embed></object>
Actually, I took it as that Andy is the one who is being cuckolded by a stronger smarter male, and that Angela is preggo with Dwight's, not Andy's baby (not your family)
Here ya go. I typed as much as I could. I'll complete it tomorrow. [COLD OPENING] [alarm beeps] Michael, contractions are coming every 10 minutes. Okay, just remember to keep breathing. My cervix is ripening. Ok. Good. Jan is about to have a baby with a sperm donor. And Michael is preparing for the birth of a watermelon with dwight. Now this baby will be related to Michael through... delusion. Michael? Wha--? My water's breaking! Oh. Ok... ok... What do you do? What do you do? I get a call from Jan and I meet her at the Hospital. Right. Highways or surface roads? I take Quincy out to Gibson? No. Gibson is covered in potholes. Your car breaks down. Adapt. I checked the route. There are no potholes. It's about adapting to the circumstances! Get in here and have a baby! Andy, would YOU like to have my baby? YES! Yes! I'm crowning! NO. AAAHHH!!!! I'm crowning! Ahhh!! Here we go, here we go! Here we go! [both Andy and Dwight are screaming] The pressure! (Michael) Do it! Scream, scream it out. The pressure, OH! [both Andy and Dwight are screaming] [now in Michael's office] Ahhhhhhh!!!! Babies are one of my many areas of expertise. Growing up, I performed my own circumcision. Just keep pushing! Hold me! I'm right here! Cradle my head! I'm right here. I'm right here! I'm screaming! I'm screaming! I'm screaming! Ahhh! Dwight! Dwight, just push and breathe. Numb me up! I want anesthesia! Shhhh! No, you can't have it, it's too late. No, I don't want natural!! No, you'll have to just push it out. OK! Keep Stimulating. Aaaahhhh!!!! Do you have the sharpie? Keep stimulating! Do you have the sharpie? Yes! OK. When the baby emerges, mark it secretly in a kind of a mark only you could recognize and no baby snatcher could ever copy? OK. Ready? Yes. Aaahhh! [watermelon pops out and smashes open on the floor] God! Wow!!! What was on that? Butter. Newborns are slippery. Nice touch. Good. Let's try that again. [Michael is now eating a watermelon slice with Dwight facing away from him, in his underwear. Michael eats while Dwight pulls up his pants.] This is going to be the happiest day of my life. [Dwight turns towards the camera, only showing his torso already dressed. He zips up.] [/END_COLD_OPENING] Hello, ladies. How is my party going? Phyllis, did you get the light storks? No. [angrily] Damn it, Phyllis! [now nicely. Michael struggles closing his eyes.] I 'm sorry. Damn it Phyllis It was hard enough to convince Jan to come. So are we set for refreshments? Per your instructions, we have the personalized m&m's with the baby names. This is your boy bowl, with the name "Chevy." That was me. And, this is the girl bowl with the M&M's with the name "Astird." That can't be right. Michael wrote down Astird. She said it is the name of a Viking princess, so... Astir-- I know, I know... it was beautiful... [Angela offers an m&m] No. Thank you. Is this it? I mean, is this...two bowls of m&m's... and some balloons? This... You know what, Phyllis, I think you need to step it up. I think you need to get the lead out. Because, if I am not mistaking... we gave you your wedding shower here... we all came into this room and gave you a golden shower... well, you know what, where's my golden shower... Phyllis? It does not matter to me, at all, whether this baby is biologically mine... I am going to love it. It's like when the dog nurses the tiger cub. HAve you seen that... video? It's so... bizarre... and unnatural... but... it ... it happens... Hey, I'm collecting for the baby shower-- Oh, Phyllis, it's not his baby. I know, Kev. Why do we have to pay money to get a gift for his ex-girlfriend's unborn sperm bank baby? Look at it as if you're paying for the cake, not the baby... cheap cake. I do enjoy being head of the party-planning committee. I'm no longer under Angela's heel. Her little gray pet is under mine. [Michael knocks on the window behind the blinds] Hey! Hey... What are you doing? Don't talk to them. Sorry. Make a party. Don't. Make a party, please, Phyllis. [Michael leaves] [Phyllis gets down and grabs an air pump and begins blowing up a balloon slowly. Michael returns.] Pump it! [Phyllis pumps faster] [Pam is on the phone with Jim at his desk]You know Stacy, right? Right, the one from England... There's no one from England, Jim. Kay studied in Ireland-- Oh. --this is Stacy the one who does the Mirakami-style collages. Right, that style. [Jim turns to look away from Dwight, then sees Creed putting on a bandage around his bare foot and ankle, then turns to his desk] So, Stacy and Eric get to Boner's class like half an hour early so they don't have to sit on the flap. OK. ANyway, so Boner's TA Sarakaya comes in. Wait. Who's Sarakaya Kumzin? No. It's "Sarakaya COMES IN". Don't interrupt, I have like 30 seconds to finish this and get to DigiCret. OK, ok. So Sarakaya says to Eric "no way, you can't reserve seats." And then Stacy gets all up on her face, and Sarakaya picks up Stacy's [ ? ] notepad and throws it at the lightbox. [trying] No way! Yes! Ugh. That's... uhhh... [Phyllis jingles the change in the interoffice envelope to Jim] That's hilarious? No! Jim, that's terrible! She could get arrested! Who, Stacy? No, Stacy is a boy. Ugh. Frustrating. Why can't you just be in art class with me? Uhhh...? Oh, wait, I gotta go. Class started. I'll tal--[notices Pam's no longer on the phone] uhhh... I'll talk to you later. [hangs up the phone. To himself: ] That's a good story. [Dwight asks, investigating] Who's Sarakaya Kumzin? Yo! Got the 'Nard puppy...for ya. [Andy looks at the board with baby pictures] What's going on here? It's a baby game where you guess who's picture is whose. Awww... check it out...w ho would have thought this little baby would be marrying that little baby? [Andy places his baby photo next to another] That's Phyllis. Oh? Well-- Yeah, it is Phyllis, so I hope you too are very happy together. Pervert. Why does that make me a pervert? I just-- Well it does--because, that's me... That's not you. Yes, it is. That's mean, c'mon. [Angela scoffs and leaves. Andy is confused, looking at the pictures.] [Michael enters Holly's cubicle area]A-hoy, matey! [Holly turns] A-hoy! Uhhh... A-hoy... so, how are we doing today? Ok. Ummm.. listen. Jan Levingson is coming in today... and she is in the terminal stages of her pregnancy... a child of which I have a vested interest. Ok? Well, felt kind of weird. ANyways, she is incredible fat and enormous right now. Exteremly unattractive... and you are... on the other hand, one of the more attractive people in the office, so... while she's here I am going to be acting kind of cold to you... and I am doing this to... to respect... her bloated feelings... and I am treatin' Ryan the same way. Of course. [Phyllis asks Stanley silently for money for the envelope]I DO NOT like pregnant women in my workspace. They're always complaining. I have varicose veins, too. I have swollen ankles. I'm constantly hungry. Do you think my nipples don't get sore, too? Do you think I don't need to know the fastest way to the hospital? [Jan enters the office with a stroller and a car seat as Jim is surprised] Jan! Hi, Jim! What do we have here? This is my baby. Really? Oh, no. [Michael comes out and sees Jan and the baby and is flabbergasted] Jan had the baby, and Michael wasn't there to mark it. So the baby could be anybody's. Except Michael's. So this is "Astird"? "ASTRID" Ohhh... ok... why didn't you call me? Well, the labor just kind of started very suddenly... and... well, the birth instructor thought it wasn't good idea for you to be there and I just--- That guy? He had no sense of humor and I proved him wrong, so many ways and... You don't know what I've been through-- No, I don't and-- So... I thought today at the baby shower would be a good time for you two to meet... Can I hold her? Yes, yes, you can. I think just... leave her... in the car seat. Just--Yeah. [Michael picks up the car seat] I love babies. I think they are beautiful in all sorts of different ways. I try to pick up a baby everyday, if possible, because... it nourishes me. It feeds my soul. Babies are drawn to me, and I think it's because they see me as one of them but... cooler. And with my life put together, a little bit. If a baby were president, there would be no taxes. There would be no war. There would be no government. And... things could get terrible. It actually probably it'dld be a better screenplay idea than a serious suggestion Ladies and gentlemen, it is my pleasure and honor to present for the first time in her life and in the office: As- -Trid -Trid Levinson! Hi! Astrid, this everybody! [while holding Astrid in car seat showing her to the office staff]Look! this is your family! You're gonna know them for the rest of your life! Well-- [while looking at Creed]--Well. He may not be here. Say hello! [picks up the car seat in the air] OK. Here we go. LION KING! Michael, Michael, MichaelThat's--that's--that's too high. [they both bring the car seat down] Ok! C'mon! Let's get our shower on! Conference room! Choppitty chip chop! You ok? You seem kinda... I'm fine, weirdo. Such an H.R. weirdo. Try not to suck all the air out of there, when you walk in. Ready to play some games? Let's do it. Michael, the baby's already been born. Yeah, duh. So we had games planned, but the baby ruins all the fun. No, the baby doesn't ruin anything. OK? The baby multiplies the fun. Let's just do what you were going to do. Ok. Who wants to guess when the baby will be born? Allright! How about... some presents? I wanna see.... some presents. I got this [hits the notepad] so I can write down the thank you notes. What do we got? Um, we all chipped in and got you [Andy gets up while she points] this stroller. Oh! Thank you! She already has a stroller. Well, this is way worse than the stroller she came with. She got an Orbit. That's a $1200 stroller. Ugh. $1200 for a stroller? Pshhh. Ok. What else? $1200, is what I spend on my whole bomb shelter. [takes the stroller and goes into the elevator with it] For that kind of money, the stroller should be indestructible. [he snaps the seat belt of the stroller around the sliced watermelon and the elevator door closes behind him and the stroller] [Jan is singing while sitting on the floor with Astrid in her arms] Being good wasn't always easy, no matter how hard I tried ... ♫ When he started sweet talkin' to me, he'd come and tell me everything is all right... ♪ He'd kiss and tell me everything is all right... and can I get away again tonight... ♫ [Holly looks at the camera] The only one ♪-- [Jim is on the phone in the office, Pam is on the phone at a laundromat] Hey, you! Hey! Busy? Not even. I'm doing laundry for like the first time in like a month. Ok, ok... you got it... So Jan's shower is going on right now, she's singing a Son of a Preacher-- I can't hear anything-- Everyone's just-- there's like...there's like... machines moving and-- The song is about losing your virginity next to a church, and guess what? She's been singing for the last 20 minutes! I can't hear anything! Oh. Oh, well, you know what? Uh, call me later. OK! I'm not frustrated. Even in Scranton Jim and I would have days like this, which is...a little out of sync. You know. That's it. Oh great. I washed my lipstick. [Jan is still singing] How well, I remember... the look that was in his eyes♪ Stealin' kisses from me on the slide...taking time to make time... tellin' me that he's all mine... learning from each others' knowing... looking to see how much we were growin'... ♫ [Stanley looks disgusted at the camera] ... AND THE ONLY ONE WHO---♫ [Dwight pushes the stroller fast against a fence] Oh, no, DON'T HIT THE FENCE, OH, NO, MY CHILD!!! [throws the stoller against the barbed wire fence] STUCK ON THE BARBED WIRE!!! [now on a pile of tires, throwing it over] PLAY TIME IS... OVERRR!!!! [Andy passes cake to Angela and addresses Jan] So, Jan, tell me and Angela about the Miracle of childbirth? Well, actually I had a tub birth. It was really, really quite amazing. You gave birth in a tub? Yeah, it's--it's a really nice transition, from womb to world, it's kinda like a big womb. So you're in the tub with... everything? Oh, yeah, the afterbirth floats, yeah. Must be like the tide at Omaha Beach. [Creed eats his cake faster] Oh, no, it's actually really hygienic, Creed. [Creed cringes, Stanley and Oscar exit] Oh, GOD... Me, too... After the birth, you get out, and you deliver the afterbirth... Hey, no... no no no no... no no no no no... this is the birth story... it was beautiful... it was beautiful. This is a once-in-a-lifetime experience. And I should have been there. [almost crying] I should have been there to witness this. You're sad about this. You're sad and I know that... it's just that I, but I... would it help if you held Astrid for just a little bit? Uh yeah. Allright... Uh, I'm just going to lie down for a couple of minutes... I'm exhausted ... so... remind me to tell you about Astrid's 29. Wake me up in 20. I usually love babies, but when I held Astrid, I just... felt... short changed. Phyllis? Could you take...? [Michael gives her Astrid and leaves] Hey, Guys. What's up, Mike? Uh, I need some advice. From one baby daddy to another. You a baby daddy? Yeah, I'm a baby daddy. Uhhh... When you first became a baby daddy, did you have an immediate connection with that baby? Like, the first time that you held it, did you find that with your baby baby? Hell yeah. You know why? Mm-hmm. 'Cause that was my baby. I just thought that as baby daddy-- You should stop calling yourself baby daddy. Why, Darryl? Because I'm [doing air quotes] quote white, quote unquote? Because you're not a daddy! And that's not your [doing air quotes] baby. Well-- You feel connected to his baby over there? [pointing at another employee of the warehouse] What? That's different. You feel connected to this? That's a bag. You wanna hold me, see how you feel? [Michael sighs, looks away. Then asks Darryl.] Could I? No. [Holly walks up to the couch, where Jan begins to wake up] Oh, I was just catching up on my sleep. I could imagine. Heh. Where's Astrid? Oh, I think she's on a sales call. On a what? [imitating the baby on the phone] "Waaaah. More paper! Waah!" [Holly smiles] [Jan looks at the camera.] She's just... uh, coffee break. [seriously]That's funny. She's with Angela. [Andy and Angela are placing fruit and vegetables around Astrid on the table] That's good. No. I need you to--I need it to look up here. Get the baby to look. Ok. Ok. Ready? Yeah. [teasing the baby]Look at my finger! Look. [Angela snaps a photo] No. C'mon! Up here! Look up here! Ugh, your hand is in it. What? Sorry! [Jan walks in]What are you doing? What's going on? Excuse me. We're taking a picture. She's nature's baby. You don't flash around a newborn baby. Don't you know that? [Michael walks into the breakroom] Michael, I need your help... [Michael stops before he gets to Holly] I was going to... I was going to talk to Holly about her hygiene. She smells old tomatoes... and dirt. [Jan walks out, so does Holly] I like to call this the bumper test. [Breaks hard, stroller hits car pulled by a rope. He then drives away with the stroller tied to the back.] Sure you can't stay a little longer? No, Michael, you know what? I'm gonna have to go. All right everybody. Jan and Astrid are leaving. You know what...? Uhh, where is the stroller that I came in with? Oh, I took the liberty of putting it in your trunk. Oh, thanks Dwight. Ok. You know what? There is one more thing that you can do for me. Ok. Don't date Holly. W---that's--I hate her. Wha--?[laughs]God, why would you even ask me to---? I, uh-- I mean, Not that it matters 'cuz I don't but... ok... allright... fine. Thanks for the baby shower. It was great. And, uh... I see you soon. Allright. Ok. [Jan drives off.] [Michael walks back into the office and then the HR area] You still gonna be mean to me? [Michael hugs her. she slowly hugs him back] Wanna go out? Uh... [trying] Yes. I didn't feel much when I held Astrid. But I got a good feeling from holly. [Jim and Pam are leaving the office and laundromat respectively, each on the phone leaving each other a message] "Hi, this is Pam. Leave a message." [beep!] Hey, it's me. It is 5:03 --- Figured I'd catch you walking to your car Is it me or are we ust a little... off today? ---I guess this is just one of these days. It'll get better. Hope you didn't have any major laundry issues ---I finished my laundry. Got all my socks. Nothing like that time that crazy guy pushed you. Hey, you remember that time I helped with your laundry and that crazy guy came in and started yelling at you? ---and then remember? We went shopping the next day to buy me a washer and dryer? And here you are back at the laundromat. Now, I'm just trying to help you, Beesly. Be safe. ---You're probably upsed that I am out all alone at night, but... don't worry, I'm being safe. And I am headed home. Well, I'm, headed to my dorm, not home. Wish you were home. Umm, Anyway, ---Anyway, um, I miss you. I miss you. [they both hang up] [/END OF EPISODE] GUEST STARRING Vanessa Ragland Calvin Tenner ALL DONE!!
The cold open was the broadest, slapstickiest scene in a long time. I couldn't stop laughing. The rest of the ep was kind of corny melodrama but I kind of dug it. Although the last scene between Jim and Pam might have been a tad too sappy with their conversation being so perfectly insync. Other highlights include Darryl who was great as always and Stanley who also had a funny bit. Otherwise there wasn't much else in this ep except for Michael and Holly who looks to be a good match on paper. Methinks those two will have a whirlwind romance, followed by heartbreak and the possibility of reconciliation in the future.
<object type="application/x-shockwave-flash" data="http://widgets.nbc.com/o/4727a250e66f9723/48f83b0fb98370e7/48f81af94c21c898/107dacd1/-cpid/86403336795db861/clipID/768483/video_title/The+Office+-+Baby+Shower-+Clip+One?storeInPid=true" id="W4727a250e66f972348f83b0fb98370e7" width="384" height="283"><param name="movie" value="http://widgets.nbc.com/o/4727a250e66f9723/48f83b0fb98370e7/48f81af94c21c898/107dacd1/-cpid/86403336795db861/clipID/768483/video_title/The+Office+-+Baby+Shower-+Clip+One?storeInPid=true" /><param name="wmode" value="transparent" /><param name="allowNetworking" value="all" /><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always" /></object> I wouldn't normally post deleted scenes but this one is just too perfect. Holly on the phone with Toby. Kevin having possibly "done it" with Jan. Jan's stand-out one-liner about "sue- icide" (every few episodes the writers give Jan an exceedingly snappy line). I can't believe they cut this in favor of the wretchedly unfunny singing Jan. And while we're on the subject of perfect deleted scenes, last week's cut was a real shame: Spoiler <object type="application/x-shockwave-flash" data="http://widgets.nbc.com/o/4727a250e66f9723/48f83db02a06ee00/48f000a831f0c34e/1c928781/-cpid/ddf12cd7dbefe9e7/clipID/744621/video_title/The+Office+-+Business+Ethics+-+Clip+Two?storeInPid=true" id="W4727a250e66f972348f83db02a06ee00" width="384" height="283"><param name="movie" value="http://widgets.nbc.com/o/4727a250e66f9723/48f83db02a06ee00/48f000a831f0c34e/1c928781/-cpid/ddf12cd7dbefe9e7/clipID/744621/video_title/The+Office+-+Business+Ethics+-+Clip+Two?storeInPid=true" /><param name="wmode" value="transparent" /><param name="allowNetworking" value="all" /><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always" /></object>
But at least they actually show you the deleted scenes, seconds after the show airs, fo' frees; so no harm done. Internet good.
I thought the show was great last night. The opening scene had me rolling. The timing between the actors just gets better and better each season. This was the first time I've ever felt like saying I don't want Jan back on the show because of the way she did Michael. Here's the entire show: <object width="512" height="296"><param name="movie" value="http://www.hulu.com/embed/lclTL83VTnIum_XW6-5IXQ"></param><embed src="http://www.hulu.com/embed/lclTL83VTnIum_XW6-5IXQ" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="512" height="296"></embed></object>
The opening scene was of the the funniest I remember. The best part was when Dwight "delivered" the watermelon Michael said, "You buttered it?" Dwight said, "It's more natural" Michael, "Oh, nice touch then." Or something close to those lines. That had me rolling.
Then the cut to Michael eating the watermelon while Dwight was changing clothes right next to him. Gold.
michael saying "these people will be your family" and then he looks at creed, says "well maybe not that guy" ahahhahahahahaha
