A couple of guys are drinking in a bar on top of the Empire State Building. One turns to the other and says "You know last week I discovered that if you jump from the top of this building, by the time you fall to the 10th floor, the winds are so intense that they carry you around the building and right back here to the bar." The bartender just shakes his head in disapproval while wiping the bar. The 2nd man says "Are you crazy? There is no way in hell that could happen." The first man replies, "It's true. Let me prove it to you." So he gets up from the bar, jumps over the balcony and falls to the street below. When he passes the 10th floor, the high wind whips him around the building and carry him all the way up, back up to the bar. The second man says, "You know, I saw that with my own eyes, but I can't believe it. That must have been a one time fluke." So the first man offers to prove it again, and he jumps and hurtles toward the street where the 10th floor wind gently carries him around the building and back up to the bar. The second guy is amazed. He figures "what the hell, it works, I'll try it." So he jumps over the balcony, plunges downward, passes the 10th floor, and hits the sidewalk with a splat. Back upstairs the bartender turns to the first man and says, "You know Superman, you're a real ******* when your're drunk." ------------------ Bingbong was set up, led to an untimely death in the prime of his life for no other reason than pure malice. Things like that do not go unavenged. Sometimes it spills out onto the field of play.
Oh, and I do have a joke, "How many Republican politicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?" One, but only after they fire their illegal immigrant housesitter, who used to do it.
How many lightbulbs does it take to screw the Ozone Layer? one...the bright one that turned on above Bush's head.
How many Bevo burps does it take to ban Beto? It'll never happen, because he has a petition of 19,200 credible posters who say they agree with him.
lol! Thanks for getting my back heyp. I was also just giving in to figuring out if my account still works (before all day classes). carry on. ------------------ girl you looks good won't you mock that draft up?!
Very good jokes Heypartner, except this one. ....and to think, this all started when I was kicking your ass in a debate, and you had no retort...lmao ------------------ I hate rice and beans!
BTW, I don't need to be corrected w/ maturity complaints Yes, you most certainly do. I may not be the most qualified person to do it, but there isn't a person on this BBS that can rival your sanctimony. HP: liked three of your jokes.
How many people screwing in a lightbulb does it take for ROckets03 to laugh? Hehe, he said "screwing". Hehe. [This message has been edited by heypartner (edited June 11, 2001).]
Then allow me to modify it: How many smart scientists can Republicans get to screw in a stupid lightbulb? 19,200
Of course I had to come home after paleo to play again (now I have to walk alllllll the way back up the hill tonight). Gee, I bet I could find more quotes proving you sanctimonious than you could me. Brian, I didn't pick this fight... you did, as always. If you're looking for the hypocrite challenge yourself Mr. Inflammatory one second, Mr. He huuurrt me w/ his woooords the next. Whenever you figure out what your problem is w/ me or where your random aggression towards me came from... feel free to let me know. I'll be sure to file it. ------------------ girl you looks good won't you mock that draft up?!
This thread started off really un-funny with all of the bad jokes, but now it has skyrocketed into a hilarious haven of humor! heypartner, Unfortunately, you made me laugh a great deal. ------------------ I have just realized that the stakes are myself I have no other ransom money, nothing to break or barter but my life my spirit measured out, in bits, spread over the roulette table, I recoup what I can nothing else to shove under the nose of the maître de jeu nothing to thrust out the window, no white flag this flesh all I have to offer, to make the play with this immediate head, what it comes up with, my move as we slither over this go board, stepping always (we hope) between the lines
Most of my jokes take too long to write down, so I'll just pose this unanswered question: What does a transvestite wear in Scotland? ------------------
Q: How many "Bonos" (yes, children, the singer from U2) does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: One. He holds the lightbulb in the socket and the world turns around him. ------------------ "Blues is a Healer" --John Lee Hooker
Alrighty, here's my best joke. Achebe is lazing around his house one day watching the Rockets, when he hears a strange knock on the door. He goes to answer the door, but finds that nobody is there. Puzzled, he looks down and sees a few ants gathering a small piece of bread. Achebe, disgusted at the sight, tosses the bread out of the yard and goes back to watching the game. Three months later, Achebe hears another knock on the door. He goes to the door, and, again finds nobody there. Puzzled, he looks down and sees an ant, who yells "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?!?" Sorry, I love that joke. ------------------ "I never did like that "Dr. Stupid""-Monty Burns
A pony walks into a doctor's office and the doctor asks "What's wrong?" The pony replies, "I'm a little hoarse." Achebe, I obviously laughed. You can make jokes about democrats and it's funny, but not the other way around. ------------------ www.swirve.com "Pre-born, you're fine, pre-school, you're f*****."-George Carlin
