[The Brushback] Yao Ming Kills Man To Prove Toughness To Jeff Van Gundy

I don't know why..........I find this statement (the "Yao in jail" part) very funny.

 

Sura faints

 

Wow, for a 'satire' article, it just wasn't funny at all.

I mean, an artcile like that COULD be funny, if it actually reflected any kind of reality at all, but Yao has not been considered 'soft' anymore by anyone other than people who don't bother to watch him play.

It looks to me like someone decided to try to write something funny 'about that Yao guy, you know, the really tall polite Chinese guy. He must be soft, so let's write a satire about him killing some random guy to prove he's mean. Yeah! That'll be hilarious!'

Except it wasn't funny, and didn't strike any right notes as satire, because its premise simply is not true.

It would be akin to some east-coast writer trying to be funny by writing an article about Houston fans, talking about how we all talk funny, have big ranches and all wear cowboy boots, because we're all in texas, and that's how everybody in Texas is.

Blah.

 

LMFAO at macalu!

 

Couldn't help but chuckle at this. Probably because its half-true.

Spurs Blame Loss To Celtics On Non-Biased Referees

SAN ANTONIO--The San Antonio Spurs lost to the Boston Celtics on Saturday night for the first time since 1990, ending a run of dominance that saw them beat the C’s 18 straight times. After the game, Spurs players blamed the loss on an officiating crew that was “blatantly non-biased” and unwilling to come to their aid when the game was on the line.

“I don’t know what the hell happened out there,” said a frustrated Tim Duncan, who was whistled for three fouls, despite playing at home. “Those referees completely betrayed us. They had a chance at the end of the game to help us out and they didn’t come through. They called an offensive foul on Ginobli. Let me repeat that: they called an offensive foul on Manu Ginobli in the waning seconds of the game. At home. Here, at the AT & T Center. I don’t even…oh, forget it. It's only one game. Still, it’s always a shame to have the referees decide a game for you by being objective.”

Duncan was also infuriated with the inconsistency with which the officials called fouls. At time they would call them in favor of the Spurs, while at other times they called them in favor of the Celtics. At no time did they establish a clear, discernible pattern of bias.

“They did make some great calls in our favor,” Duncan recalled. “Like whenever Tony [Parker] drove into the lane, they would just blow a whistle on the nearest defender, even if he was literally running away from contact. But then there were other times when the Celtics would make really nice, clean defensive plays and not get called for fouls. Huh? Oh, sorry, I thought we were the San Antonio Spurs. We might as well have been the Memphis Frigging Bobcats. We might as well have been any team playing against us at home in the past eight years or so. That’s how bad it was.”

Even Ginobli, noted flopper and charge-taker, was denied his unusual dozen calls per game. At one point he launched himself into the third row of seats in an attempt to draw a charging call against Paul Pierce, but to no avail.

“I really thought I was going to get that call,” Ginobli said afterward. “Pierce was standing near the post when I ran up to him, brushed against his left hip, launched myself into the air, soared majestically over the crowd while screaming ‘foul,’ and landed in the third row. I then slowly pulled myself up, grimacing in pain, when I noticed that no foul was called. Well that’s it. That’s my whole defensive strategy right there. If you take that away from me you might as well cut off my right arm.”

Other disputed calls included:

A traveling call against Tony Parker on a play in which he took nine steps, stopped, jumped, landed, took four more steps, and drained a layup.

A foul call on Bruce Bowen in which he grabbed Paul Pierce’s head and slammed it against his knee several times until he was knocked unconscious.

A no-call on Rajon Rondo after he hit a crucial free throw late in the third quarter.

“I was actually pretty surprised they let us win that game,” Pierce told reporters afterward. “That just shows that the referees are human, too. They can have off nights. I’m sure they’ll make it up to the Spurs in the finals, though. There is no way these refs are going to let some upstart team come into this building and take a playoff game. They have way too much pride for that.”

On Monday, Bob Delaney, the lead official working the game, admitted that “mistakes were made.”

“Yes, mistakes were made on the part of the officials,” he said. “The Pierce call was the most egregious. We should have whistled him for a charge when he hit that game winning fadeaway jumper. At the very least I could have tried to get a hand on the shot. Sure, it might have looked a little biased, but here in the NBA we have a saying: Better to let the fans think you’re biased than to let them in on the awful truth that you are actually just completely incompetent.”

http://www.thebrushback.com/spurs_full.htm

 

Is it too late to tank for Oden?

 

They're not big on subtlety.

 

You've got to be kidding me, right? Yao? He always seemed like such a nice guy. Goes to show that you can't trust grouchy bald guys. Now Les has an excuse. Fire Van Gundy!! Tank for Durant!

 

i thought the article was okay, but not that funny. like someone else mentioned, it just isn't that relevant anymore. yao ming ain't a softy. however, there is a nice article that i've posted that is humorous in its sincerity and tells of a heart-warmingly true story:







Chinese Kid Now Picked Second-to-Last on Playground

Thanks to the success of Yao Ming, 12-year old Chong Yun Sok is finally getting treated with some respect on the playground.

The lone Asian child in the small town of Elklund, Pennsylvania, Yun Sok was always picked last when the neighborhood kids gathered to play sports. Be it basketball, wiffle ball, soccer or kickball, nobody wanted the friendly, bright-eyed boy on their team.

“None of us wanted to have no Chinese kid playing with us,” said Darrell Wolfschmeltz, a 13-year old neighbor of Yun Sok’s. “It’s common knowledge that they’re too short and aren’t any good at sports.”

But that “common knowledge” changed when Yao Ming of the Houston Rockets began making his presence felt in the NBA late last year. With each dunk and blocked shot that Ming added to his resume, Yun Sok’s peers began to rethink their perceptions of the Asian athlete.

By mid-December, playground team captains stopped groaning when getting stuck with Yun Sok for the last pick. And by January, Yun Sok was no longer the last pick; that dubious distinction went to Peter Ott, a neighbor boy with scoliosis and a slight mental r****dation.

“That first day that I wasn’t picked last was so meaningful to me,” said Yun Sok. “It felt like a victory for Asian athletes everywhere.”

And in the weeks since that momentous moment, Yun Sok has kept his position as the second-to-last pick, too. His hustle and encouragement have been appreciated by his teammates. Plus, everyone finally admitted that Asian or not, Yun Sok was a much better player than Ott, who often shoots at the wrong basket.

But most importantly, thanks to the impressive play of a towering Chinese superstar in a city thousands of miles away from Yun Sok’s small Pennsylvania town, a group of children learned a powerful message about diversity.

“It turned out that the Chinese guy on the Rockets is pretty good,” said Rocky Hummel, a classmate of Yun Sok’s. “We figured if Yao Ming can do it, we should at least give our Chinese kid a chance.”

“I’m actually South Korean,” Yun Sok said. “But they all think I’m Chinese. Whatever.”







http://www.oprah.com/compassionate_true_stories/story724821
(one of the greatest sites on the internet. definitely better than those ESPN lies. two other yao articles, but not as funny and someone else can take credit for posting them)

 

lmao

 

"We might as well have been the Memphis Frigging Bobcats."

 

This will be posted on sina soon.

 

Now that one was funny.

 

Another case of JVG ruining a player !

DD

 

Poor Yao. He just came out of injury and now was thrown into the jail. I heard Charles Barkley added Yao into his 5 after he read the news. Too sad. The worse thing is the victim turned out to be Stan Van Gundy, and I do not think JVG knows about it yet.

 

man if carmelo got 15 games, i don't even wanna think about what stern's gonna give yao.

that was the first thing i thought of too, but none of them really looked like a michael langford. either way, this can't be good for yao.

 

need to show this article to those 3 nimrods and tell them this is what happens to people who stalk the Great Wall...

"You can't falking stalk me!"

 

So is Yao going to be prosecuted in the states or deported back to China and gets jail time there? I think Yao would rather go to jail here, I hope that is the case!!!

Free Yao Ming!

and free debra lafave

 

Satire can be quite funny. This isn't. It's amateurish and in extremely poor taste.

 

it was hilarious, some people are just too sensetive. you guys should read the spurs one on that site, its about the spurs losing to the celtics.