Question: How old are you? I don't think he is talking about yours or my generation but the modern generation where such behaviors and ideals are a bit more widespread Rocket River
Nobody is afraid of child buse charges in the urban centers, ghettos, or hoods. Go to 5th ward, 3rd ward, Acre Homes and ask how many people got disclipined with a whooping or a time out. Everybody got whooped as a kid. They are whooping their children now.
This is not a minority or an inner city problem. It's an American problem. Additionally, there are lots of homes where the "Dad" is still a boy who just happens to live in the same house as his kids. The art of parenting and the unwillingness to sacrifice a nanosecond of individual pleasure (be you "Mom" or "Dad") for the long-term benefit of your kids is killing America.
I think there is certainly something to the absence of a male influence, and if you were to divy all of the possible reasons up in the OP it might be the largest chunk. But I think it all boils down to personal responsiblity. When I was a kid(33 years old now) my parents let me have freedoms but when I got out of line they were sure to let me know that it was unacceptable. That started at a very early age(as long as I can remember). Many parents these days(and it happens in all walks of life) dont put the pressure on their kids to essentially behave. You have heard all of the stories about parents madly upset at the school when they said their kid did something bad or whatever.("Not MY child!") "Surely it was the school's fault, or the other kid's fault, or whatever." Personal responsibility goes back to how you were raised. Kids raised with it generally don't lose it when they grow up. Kids without it become adults without it. Some of them learn it when they have kids, and it helps to prevent the cycle in that family. Far too often though, many adults without personal responsibility have kids without it, and said kids probably dont see much of it.
You can come up with a lot of examples in other countries or this one all you want...look at the facts and you'll see that the majority of folks in poverty and probably in prison are from single parent families...that's great that 'you know some folks' in the same instance that made it...if you ever met someone that wasn't as successful you'd see why having only 1 parent is tough... In your example the kids were already in school and able to take care of themselves when the mom brought them home?...what happened during the first 10 years of life then? How did she handle that while working all the time? I highly doubt the mom would leave some 5 year olds home to fend for themselves...CPS would be on her if she did that. Great example, but not realistic for a lot of people.
White folks are scared because white people without kids(who read articles on timeouts or whatever) or who happened to have had success in their genetic offspring with it try to push that on other families. Perhaps, they don't want to look racist so they don't report on minorities. But believe you me, my kid talked back to me when he was younger(about 8 or 9) and I slapped him. Now, you remember when that white sox guy hit his first homerun of the year in the world series against the astros? This was like that. My hand came at a PERFECT angle on my son. It left a mark that made the hit look a LOT harder than it was. His school had CPS on me in a new york minute. Ultimately it was dropped because there was no history, and having 3 other kids who had no markings or whatever helped prove my case. CPS sucks and I read a LOT of horror stories about minor incidents or parental decisions(nothing illegal or immoral) that essentially destroyed a good family because CPS got involved.
I don't know, what she did. Neighbors? I like that part about "if you ever met someone that wasn't as successful". You could say I met many people that aren't considered successful. When I was much younger, I had my birthday in the Covenant House shelter on Westheimer. I didn't know if they came from single parent families or not. I don't know if they became "successful". Most of us were just trying to stay out of trouble. If we wanted to be gangbangers, we wouldn't have been at the shelter.
While some of the "not so smart" big kids get girls pregnant and take off abandoning that personal responsibility thing leading to some of the problems we are having.
Parents are relying on the state/government to raise their children. It's another failure of socialism.
I agree. We should have dogs eat unwanted babies before they turn into other dogs. Survival of the fittest, I say.
Bull****. State/government hasnt had a lick in raising my kids, unless you talk about what they learn at school.
An abusive father is worse than a single mother, especially if he is alcholic or drug addict. Alcohol, drugs, violence is common factor in the upbringing of many of the most violent criminals.
Parenting is half of the equation. Who you're friends with and what community you're in are just as important factors to your childhood..
The liberals now want universal pre-k to go along with sex education, drug education, free lunches, school clinics, mandatory community service etc etc. Some elementary schools teach the kids how to use a knife and fork and sit at a table. Most schools struggle with parent involvement.
Her neighbors took care of her kids 7 days a week while she worked? For 10 years? I know it seems like I'm riding you, but you're being incredibly unrealistic about your supermom story...like everyone should be able to succeed in the ghetto with a single parent household. Unless her babysitters were teaching the kids to stay away from drugs, stay in school, don't join gangs,etc. then there is a HUGE chance the kids will sway that way simply because they don't have a good influence on them growing up and the first 'family' that they spend the majority of their time around will be the thugs and such when they're old enough to not need a sitter. I think Chris Rock said raising a child w/o a father well..."I can drive a car with my feet, but that doesn't mean it should be done." I mentioned the 'if you ever met someone that wasn't as successful' b/c you don't sound like you ever met someone like that even though it is VERY common...I would bet more common than the situation you talk about, yet you can't seem to imagine it. I'm very happy for you and how your mom raised you despite the adversity she went through without any support...but not everyone has access to great neighbors that can raise their children for them for years and years while they work. I'm sure a lot of families with single moms do well...but many of these are women that have good jobs and a decent income...if you're already in the ghetto what can you do? No education, no support, bad influences growing up, where do you go? Yeah, there are options...welfare, etc. But the easiest path would be to have another parent to help with the child care responsibilities. Of course not a father that is a druggie or abusive, that should go without saying. I'll I'm saying is growing up without 2 parents makes it really difficult on a family to thrive...if you're starting at the very bottom, no education, no direction, no money, surrounded by bad influences...how can you expect people to automatically be successful? More often than not I'd think they'd be screwed. Folks like that need help...a lot of it.
Super mom didn't have to wait 10 years. The husband left when the oldest was 5. My divorced mom had support. It was my half-siblings that didn't get support. My father left them in another country. My mom left me home alone at 9 yrs old. We had dinner already cooked. We just watched tv and went to bed. 34% of children in America grow up in single parent families. Most of these families are headed by the mom. I highly doubt that 34% of the population is growing up in the ghetto. Just because we are in a poor minority neighborhood, doesn't mean it's a ghetto. It might be scary to a middle class person, but that doesn't mean it's a ghetto. Try asking the single moms at work and see how many of them say they live in a ghetto.
How do you propose that children learn life skills when parents are absent or drop the ball? Should we as a society cast them aside because it's a parental responsibility or do we do something about educating these children in a setting where a difference could be made before it's too late? It's easy to talk a good game about parenting and personal responsibility, unfortunately we don't live in that utopian world that exists in the minds of conservatives.
