This is pretty funny, I think we all have a little of this in us, or know someone who does! http://www.thephatphree.com/feature...D=11&LayoutType=1&StoryMonth=3&StoryYear=2005 Look at my button down striped shirt! F**king look at it! This shirt means one thing! I’m coming home with some p***y tonight! That’s right! It’s been a long week at the office and it’s time to blow off a little steam! I am a Junior Vice President! I have business cards that say “Junior Vice President” on them! They’re glossy and magnificent! Here! Have one! Take it! My boys are coming out with me tonight! They all have striped shirts too! I figure we’ll kick off the night with some Golden Tee! I am going to smack the **** out of that little white ball! It’s going to be so f**king loud! I’ll bet I can drive that pretend golf ball 600 f**king yards tonight! I’m that ****ing pumped! I can almost taste those Jager Bombs right now! I f**king love Red Bull! I put it on my God damned cereal! I’m crushing one right now! I’m thinking about buying a boat this year! I’m gonna fight someone tonight! I pray to God someone makes eye contact with me! I will beat his a*s! And God help him if he gets any blood on my striped shirt! If he does, I’ll scrub it out with his d**k and some bleach! I mean it! I’m gonna grind on girls a**es tonight! You heard me! When I see a group of girls dancing in a circle, I will select the most attractive one and dry hump her until it hurts! I will rub my c**k against her so that she can feel my throbbing h*** on! Party Fuel I will valet tonight! I will treat the valet with contempt and make sure that he knows that I am superior to him in life! I will tell him to “Take it easy on the brakes, Champ”! I will talk to people I don’t know about my job tonight! They will all know that I am an important man! I will call female bartenders “Babe” and male bartenders “Chief”! When I do not hook up with a girl at that club, I will say that the place is “full of skanks”! We will wait in a long line to go to another bar only to strike out again! I will give up and decide to order a gyro off of a street vendor! I will make fun of him to my friends for being foreign! I will look ridiculous purchasing my gyro because people will be able to tell by my striped shirt and tinted sunglasses that I struck out and am settling for a gyro! I will make one last attempt to hook up by trying to coax two big girls who are also ordering gyros to coming back to my place for “after hours”! When they say no I will make fun of them for being fat! I will leave! When I get home I will go to the bathroom and hold the straight razor to my wrist again! I will gently drag the razor laterally against my vein, making sure not to actually cut myself! I will then go to my room and pass out! I will need some shut eye so that I’ll be ready to f**king party again tomorrow!
making fun of golden tee is great. "I’m thinking about buying a boat this year! " - that was nicely slipped in too. He forgot imported beer and dmb.
but not good imported beer...swill like Heineken or Amstel Light that people drink to pretend to be fancy.
Don't forget the blazer and cufflinks. Oh yea, we can't forget the disheveled hair that took 30 minutes to get 'just right.'
Well, these days, a button down striped shirt does not complete the look for these guys. They deck out with a french cuff shirt, with bling-bling cuff links, and a blazer to match. Mind you it's freakin' hot in the clubs, but these guys insist on wearing that. I haven't met a single girl who doesn't find this pretentious.
I refuse to stereotype button down striped shirts. They are better than white or blue button down shirts. Whats wrong with some color? Everything else, very funny...although I havent seen a fight in a club or bar in like 4 years (thank god).
Read the comments back. They're hilarious as well... The VALET thing made me spray my coffee... from this morning...