I totally agree with Master Baiter. Her "bf" is a tool and she has been used. I feel sorry for her but life is cruel when you don't face up to the reality.
I agree with ima; 11 years with one person and not being married is too damn long. Go on with your life and move on...geez! It's funny you mentioned this FB because I ran into a guy I used to play softball with and I told him that my weekend consisted of me mowing the yard, doing the laundry, and going to the grocery store, LOL! 10 years ago, it would have been nothing like that - it would have been me playing softball. However, I will say that the life I have now, I do have access to something that was unavailable 10 years ago, so I guess it is all good.
Completely agree with the other posters. If she wants to get married and in 11 years this guy still doesn't and doesn't even want to move in its not going to happen. As Dan Savage would put it. DTMFA!
I've been with my girlfriend for 4 years and we've never lived together once. And I've never cheated on her once. BUT, if I follow this post up in 7 years saying we're still doing things the same way, I would appreciate it if you guys would reach across the internet and slap me in the face.
^So, when are you getting married? another 7 years... You need to be brutally honest...She's a booty call, nothing more...If she doesn't move on, she'll be older and it'll be harder to find someone...I'm just saying...
That is what I was thinking she is his chick when he wants to play married but when he gets tired of it . .. . . . Rocket River
Hey! I said wait 7 years before you slap me in the face! To my credit, I've asked this girl to move in with me before, but she just started crying. Not a good sign, I know. But at least that ball's out of my court at this point.
It sounds like people are making way too many unflattering assumptions about folks they don't know. I would say if you want to get married, 11 years is too long to wait for your 1st option. But, it's not nice to say someone is a booty call, a cuckold, or the like. And, I have to parrot a point FB made. I dated my wife probably a bit longer than I should have before proposing, and I thought that "the piece of paper" didn't make that much of a difference. Once we were married though, it made a ton of difference. My approach and her approach to our relationship changed because there was a lot more security and permanence to it. There was no inclination to hedge in making plans for the future or whatever. For us, even though our lifestyle didn't much change, the actual marriage certificate had a big impact.
I agree this girl should move on. But I think people are making it sound so easy. How many people are there that you guys have KNOWN for 11 years, much less DATED? I bet it's not easy for her to let go. As for FB's question, I wouldn't curb the conversation. Maybe if everyone in the world didn't curb their conversation for her, she wouldn't be in the spot she's in?
We all know it is not easy. But if you are catching a falling knife, you better get out as quick as possible. The problem is her situation is not as painful and obvious as a falling knife.
Sounds like your colleague needs to hang out with the married couples from Sishir's thread, and her boyfriend should hang out more with you and your wife.
Maybe I should. The reason it feels strange is because I am not used to really monitoring what I talk about. I also don't like ostracizing my friend. But I am sure there is enough other crap we can talk about. We play tennis together, and check out restaurants and happy hours on occasion, so it isn't like all of our conversation would be about that even if I do gloat about a great weekend or whatever with the wife.
