I have a wife and two young children to take care of, with twins due in October. I have a job, a microbusiness, and a job search to worry about. I have a house and a dog and an old car to keep up. I have a mortgage, a business loan, and student loans for 4 schools to pay. I have to post on the BBS everyday. That's a lot to keep up with. And then, I have a lot of family that need handholding to get them through their challenges. I love my family and I want to help them, but can't there be someone else that can hold their hands? How am I supposed to do all this? Just venting.
I feel for you. I feel the same way at times. The wife agrees, too. We've though about "downgrading" our lives. This doesn't necessarily mean a change in lifestyle or helping out less people, but doing things that may make you feel more comfortable when you do them. Which to me, means; - get rid of stuff you don't need (sell that extra car, take the stacks upon stacks of old books to Half Priced Books, clean out the closet and give away old clothes, etc.), - eat healthy (eat less meat, fatty foods, sugars, etc...eating healthy means feeling healthy), - do something you enjoy (be sure and have a date night, or that one hour a day where you are perfectly at joy watching the game or whatever), - make some hard decisions (in your case, do you really need the micro business? it may be more your passion, or your goal for ultimate riches down the road, but does it make your life more stressful before you get there) basically stop and smell the roses type stuff...and feel like a fresh start. the problem comes in when youre too busy to put in the effort to do the above in the first place!
I know exactly what you mean. Being mature and responsible really sucks. I long for the days when I didn't care about money, slept in until noon, played video games, went dancing.... good times. But we can only look back on that. We must accept that that period in our lives is over. This period is about sacrificing ourselves in order to enjoy how we enrich others. ...and, while it has its own rewards, it frequently sucks. Don't lose yourself. Give to yourself every now and then. And realize that, though this time is difficult, it WILL get easier. ... or, at least, that's what I keep telling myself.
Do you know the story behind those signs? I seem them all over the place near my house. I can't tell if it's telling you to give up drugs or give up on life and kill yourself.
It's a shame that, with all the lip service our culture gives to the family, we've allowed powerful organizations to make our society more family-unfriendly than any other industrialized state.
Take a deep breath, organize your priorities and do the best you can. Take it one day at a time and try not to stress the rest. I don't think it ever gets easier per se, just your abilities to deal with it get better and you get wiser about the decisions you make.
You have a talented and attractive wife. You have two children that love you unconditionally and two more on the way. You have a job. You have a microbusiness. You have a job search, so you must have job skills. You have a house. You have a dog. You have an (old) car. You have a mortgage, a business loan, and school loans, so you must have a good education and good credit. You post on this BBS (and as you may recall, you gave me/my daughter some excellent advice once upon a time). You have a (needy) family. What was your problem again? Oh yeah, you are suffering from an abundence of riches. Chin up old man. Whatever tough stretch you are going through, it will pass. If you weren't doing things right, no one would want you to hold their hand. Sermon over.
Good advice <object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/R5I_vv2UN1U&hl=en&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/R5I_vv2UN1U&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>
Yeah...I have to admit, sometimes adulthood sure seems hard. You'll come through. Deep breaths and patience, my friend.
Yes, stretched too thin. That's exactly why I advocate using supplements that address thickness, while avoiding the stretching apparatus.
Voluntary euthanasia? Or, tell them directly that exact same thing you told us? You wanting a little support or a break doesnt mean you're less than manly, or that you're giving up on the family at all. If youre finances and sanity are being over stretched, its not fair you go down but no one else makes any sacrifices. This being told to you by a single guy with no children...BUT, being all by yourself has just as much if not more susceptibility to get stretched out by everything. At least you have something to live for and the occassional tax credit
