Dude, holy cow. Poor Mr. Johnson and poor Pipe! Opening this thread while at the school's computer lab was a bad idea. I am trying to refrain from verbally reacting like a mofo here. **** dude. I'm sorry as hell. You might want to try some Arnica gel or cream Its a homeopathic remedy to bruising and swelling, etc. It'll help Mr. Johnson get back to normal quicker.
How about pulling a groin muscle, and accidentally getting some Ben-Gay on Mr. Johnson's head while you are trying to smear it on the groin muscle? This happened to me in High School. Absolutely excruciating pain.
Ouch. That reminds me when I, essentially, tore my hamstring. Very excrutiating pain. My whole left leg was blue, purple, and yellow for a good while. I started to put this cream like Ben-Gay on it to promote healing and I got the stuff too close to my, ahem, "boys". The next thing I knew was that I had jock itch. Not fun.
oh no, poor Pipe. Poor Pipe's pipe. I'm glad Mr. Johnson seems to be OK... hoping for his fast recovery. I advise all of you to wear briefs when handling weights or heavy machinery. (and to stay sober enough that you don't let anyone give you a hickey down there - wtf was that all about? some people are into really strange things.) I am sooo glad I don't have a Mr. Johnson to take care of... or the "boys". It just seems very vulnerable and out there, and extra sensitive when bad things happen to it. I'd always be afraid I would squish the equipment during normal day-to-day activities.
"THE FAMILY JEWELS?!? Worst pain there is..." Name that movie quote Reminds me of when I was playing soccer as a kid and I got kicked hard in the crotch. I was writhing in pain on the field and my coach told me that the best way to get rid of the pain was to jump up and down with my arms extended. So here I am in the middle of the soccer field jumping up and down with my arms extended while everyone laughs at me. It didn't even work.
