That brought the biggest smile on my face in some time - thanks Zac for that. Deckard, You are right. I just got done talking to her on the phone as she wanted to make sure that I was okay with her spending over $200 on a Christmas tree and assorted ornaments (*shudder*). As a guy, I don't even understand the desire for **** like that but I know it is a woman thing and I am okay with her wanting that. She communicated with me about it and that was the important thing. Hopefully, this tree will be the only one we will need for 15 years. There is always going to be a struggle when it comes to spending money between us, but it won't be as bad if I know what is going on. Harrisment, You can email me through the board. I would love to hear how things are going for you as I know you have been going through a lot of rough stuff. I think about your situation from time to time. giddy, Max, rrj, moe, and finals: Thanks for the posts as they have helped. My wife and me had a good night last night and so far a good morning. She told me last night that she feels that she is not the same person that she was a week ago. I have, I wouldn't say "conquered her" but "controlled her". She told me that she doesn't ever want to see me get that upset with her again. I told her that I couldn't promise I would never get mad at her again, but that if I did get mad at her, we would work things out. I told her this morning that this has been the happiest I have been with our marriage in some time. She looked at me in a sad way, but I told her to forget about the past and focus on the present. And the present is that I am very happy with her. I think she finally realized that she may have not been very giving towards me. So I know what people are thinking - how can you be this happy and then start a thread like this? I guess it is due to the fact that I always like to prepare for the future. Yea, it sounds bad, but I have a feeling that I might feel sometime in the future anger towards her and get unhappy again. Besides, I thought it was an interesting question to ask, regardless of my situation, since we see so many threads here about divorce.
You can't be a money Nazi either. Shuddering at buying a Christmas tree just seems weird to me. As a family, I would think that Christmas would be an exciting time and doing things like that would be fun. And this comes from a guy that isn't exactly a big fan of the holidays.
So who is the wife in this relationship? Come on. Stop concentrating on the little things that drive you nuts and start concentrating on the big things that make you happy. freaking ridiculous.....welcome to the married life folks....its a freaking rollercoaster.....sit back, buckle up and enjoy the ride.
OK, this is annoying. First, $200 is not that much to spend on a tree and ornaments. A cheap tree these days is $150. Second, as has been said, you are part of a family now and guess what - holidays are a big deal for family. Did you not celebrate growing up? Third, I am not religious at all and I friggin love putting up all the decorations, etc each year...so I am glad you "know" it is a woman thing. I must be gay, right?
someday we'll find it....the rainbow connection..... i'm not picking on you..but you should never expect 100% from anyone. but you should be ready to give 100%, anyway.
well...i didn't want to say anything...but...ummmmm...yeah, kinda. i mean with this...and all the French art stuff....i mean....wow.
I know but we have a rule that if either one of us buys something $200 or more that it has to be cleared by the other party. I wish it wasn't like this but money is tight for us. If I was making 6 figures or she was making the same salary as me, it wouldn't be that big of an issue. And yea, I am frugal with money. I am always looking for value. Just because something costs a lot doesn't mean it is going to give you the best value - sometimes I think my wife doesn't see that.
They won't listen. At the first sign of trouble, they think: "OH MY G*D!!! I HAVE TO GET A DIVORCE!!!!" without working sh*t out. Manny, get rid of the "WOMAN THING" and the "man thing" mentality. Good stuff, rimbaud. EDIT: Madmax said it best. ALWAYS give 100% no matter how much you expect back.
Are you asking about all the unhappily married people, or the happily married people? One and One respectively.
Manny, as much as we've both clashed in this thread, I gotta say - I'm glad that it looks like you'll work it out. Just remember THIS feeling next time you get b****y over something. She has to remember this too - how she "gave" a little and how it turned out good. Honestly, if you were going to get a divorce over something that seemingly got fixed over one night with no counseling, then I guess my point was correct - easy come easy go! I know you don't like it, but it looks as though you just proved it right. I'm only saying my opinion because I think it will help you. You're right, I don't know jack squat. But don't get all defensive and ******* like on me next time and just take everybody's opinion for what it's worth. You can listen or you can not. Your choice. I'm glad you're working on it - but next time don't be almost giving up on it so quickly. This is a commitment. Both of you have to work together and make it through.
Manny and Max, You are both losers. Sure Rimbaud was a gay French poet but that doesn't make me any less manly. The simple fact is Rimbaud is French for RAMBO. You know, First Blood? Never mind that Rimbaud stopped being a gay French poet and became a North African gun running, sleeping with dirty prostitutes, syphilis-infected, leg-amputated, died before 40 macho man. Mentally unstable baseball and basketball players are super gay.
No one is stating that anyone should fold at the first sign of trouble...I'm not sure where you're getting this...If you know people that are like that, go preach to them...Maybe they'll listen, but I'm sure you've annoyed the sh*t out of them as you did the people on this thread... Manny, when we didn't have money, I went thru the same crap...It's about respect...I'm cheap so $200 for a GD tree is a lot, but understand that its worth it in the long run...
I hope that whatever decision you make works out the best it possibly could. I don't know all the specifics, so I can't say to get one or don't. On a broad scope I favor getting maried and working through problems as much as possible. However, my brother married a woman with kids of her own. They had a limited income, because she couldn't hold a job. The problems were more than just her spending, but they did play a role. They got divorced and I believe that he is better off because of it. I have two friends that also have gotten divorced. One is definitely better off because of it, and the other, would probably be considered a toss up. So there are cases where it will make your life better to get a divorce. I would just try every other possibility first if I were you. I wish you the best of luck in whatever decision you make.
