Spreading some Christmas cheer (and jeer) from Bill Walton

By Bill Walton
Special to ESPN.com


"Truckin', got my chips cashed in."

CHRISTMAS 2002 -- Where Santa meets the do-dah man or, like Rory Sparrow and Trent Tucker ... are they REALLY the same person?

"Chicago, New York, Detroit -- it's all the same street."


Houston -- never a safe haven for me, what with UCLA's horrendous loss at the Astrodome in 1968 and it being way too close to New Orleans for my comfort -- is now my newest favorite place. Yao Ming. Nothing more needs to be said. They're out of replica jerseys at the NBA Store, and they don't even have a bobblehead doll yet. Talk about an egregious turnover. Who dropped THAT ball?


Congratulations, good luck and best wishes to Mr. Johnson in Charlotte. He must be VERY special for the NBA to say NO to Larry Bird.


It's the thought that counts ... and Bill Walton has plenty on what's happening in the world.

Allen Iverson deserves a spot on the next national team. But it's demeaning that he's publicly campaigning for it. When you're trying to get people to accept you for who and what you are, it's embarrassing to beg for recognition and understanding. Allen, your game speaks for itself. They can't revoke your soul for trying.


While in Houston, I went to place flowers at Enron's former headquarters in memory of those who got ripped off. Over the gloating laughter of Ken Lay, I swear I heard the wails of the former workers. What advice do you think THEY would give LeBron James? Knocked down gets to wearing thin.


When I heard that some former Enron fakes were returning some of their fraudulently acquired cash, why did my first thought point straight to Shawn Bradley and Michael Olowokandi?


If Pat Riley thinks that free speech is impugning the credibility of the NBA, things are a lot worse than I thought. Losing IS worse than death. It's good for people to live on BOTH sides of the tracks.

"Outta the door and down on the streets all alone."


Is there any thing Yao Ming can't do? We all have so much to learn from him. Why does everybody think it's the other way around?


Are people still questioning whether Hubie Brown can coach? Aren't those the same folks who questioned Isiah Thomas. Must be getting pretty crowded under THAT rock.


I'm not expecting any "Miracles on 34th Street" this Christmas season. But that Knicks win over the Nets comes pretty close.


When I saw Jack Nicholson's brilliant new dark comedy, "About Schmidt," I thought at first it was going to be about the Blazers. The way the Lakers are playing right now, solace can be taken in that at least someone in the Laker family will be taking home some hardware this spring.


It's so hard to shop for NBA players. But I think I'll send Chris Webber a "get out of jail free" card. And George Karl a "time machine" -- so that he can go back the last year and a half and relocate his mind. I think I'll send Paul Pierce his two front teeth back. And for Vince Carter: his career.


Actor/activist Sean Penn should devote time to saving the Lakers.

Now that Sean Penn has returned from trying to figure out the mess in Baghdad, do you think he can spend some time on the Lakers' problems?


I had no idea that the Sixers were playing so awful that Larry Brown, while sitting on the bench, would get violently sick to his stomach and have to leave the game. That's bad.


I thought all the new rules over the last few years were supposed to stimulate scoring and exciting action. Please, get Pat Croce back on the job before it's too late. We need more people bungee jumping off our bridges.


Did someone REALLY pay $45,000 for the "advance clues" to the next Harry Potter story? Pat Croce wouldn't cost nearly that much.


I'm not quite sure what was more predictable: the immediate cancellation of the Guns 'N Roses tour or Charles Oakley trashing the Knicks again. The beauty of the NBA is that one day Oak will, most certainly, head New York's PR department.


I can only hope that the closing days of Michael Jordan's career are spent on the court and not in it


With injuries decimating the roster and season for Orlando, Doc Rivers' quest for the tough-guy presence is being overlooked. Tony Soprano has got some time on his hands right now, Doc. Heck, why not his wife, Carmela? At least she wouldn't help anyone up off the floor.


That sure was a strange goodbye to Horace Grant. Can't we all just get along? Whatever happened to peace on earth, goodwill toward man? Or did that get lost in the rubble of the Lakers' locker room?


Do you think they might be overdoing it in our TV programming world? Now they're suggesting the airing of the LeBron James ping-pong ball drawing. I sure hope to get THAT assignment.


I caught Al Gore's act on "Saturday Night Live" last week. Maybe he and George Karl can do a remake of "The Crying Game." Most of the time they're sittin' and cryin' at home.


I can only hope that someone has told LeBron James that all the money in the world somewhere down the road will never get him this senior year of high school back.

"Sometimes the lights all shining on me."

The rock group BOSTON's new album is scintillating. I especially like the outrageous hit single devoted to Vin Baker and his sparkling career. It's called 'Turn it off.'



The rock group BOSTON's new album is scintillating. I especially like the outrageous hit single devoted to Vin Baker and his sparkling career. It's called "Turn It Off."


Not many shopping days left for Yao Ming season tickets. And then there were none left and all were sad.


Will Pat Riley and Steve Javie be exchanging Christmas cards this year?

"Hang it up and see what tomorrow brings."


Why do coaches get blamed when players get hurt? There are 1,275 reasons to get off Lenny Wilkens' back.


I hope that John Stockton can be like the Big Muddy River and roll on forever.


So much for Kwame Brown getting the NBA's Most Improved Player award.


James Cameron's fresh documentary on the "Bismarck" is a fascinating study. Speaking of sinking ships, didn't we just pass the one-year anniversary of Jeff Van Gundy's jumping from the Knicks?


I see where Sean "Puffy" Combs has been approached about starring as a modern Ebenezer Scrooge in a hip-hop version of Charles Dickens' "A Christmas Carol." I thought Jerry Krause already won that part.


A recent survey revealed that Europeans find it easier to give up sex for a month than cigarettes. I wonder if Rasheed Wallace and Damon Stoudamire feel the same way?


As Isiah Thomas rebuilds his Pacers in the mold of the "Bad Boys," I can only hope and pray that he focuses on the class, dignity and style of his backcourt mates, Joe Dumars and Vinnie Johnson, and NOT the thuggery of the goon squad led by Bill Laimbeer, Dennis Rodman and Rick Mahorn.

"Truckin', I'm a goin' home ... whoa baby, back where I belong."


Merry Christmas, everyone. The game is in good hands. Yao Ming is here, Bob Johnson just arrived, and LeBron is on his way.

 

When did posting become a crime?

I always thought that a troll was someone who only posts negative comments, and try's their hardest to bring other people down.

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